Written words
by speakcarol
Summary: AU. Kate Beckett is a famous family lawyer who used to cut herself in words and has a fiance. Richard Castle is a famous mystery writer with writer's block searching for an inspiration. They meet at a coffee shop and the story goes from there. I write in first person, the story has a few different POV. If you are not comfortable with cutting, save yourself from the trouble.
1. The first encounter

This is my first fan fiction ever, so I apologize in advance if there is something strange or something like that. Good reading.

**KPOV (Katherine/ Kate)**

That day I woke up with the same voice in my head: My therapist saying, "a job does NOT complete spaces where love should be." I do not agree with that. My job is everything to me, being a lawyer is everything I ever wanted and expected. Peter, my fiancé, is just a small part of my life, not everything.

I faced my own body on the mirror, so many scars, words written all over my stomach, since I knew I was going to be a lawyer when I started cutting, short after mom died and dad became an alcoholic, I didn't want to cut where my future work clothes couldn't cover, so I wrote words on my stomach and parts of my back that I could reach. I really liked to run my fingers over them, feeling my healed skin and the words writing themselves all over again under my fingers; paying attention to the reflection on the mirror, I can see that my long brown hair, is losing its color, losing its life. My brown eyes that years ago were warm, are now empty. I took a deep breath and enjoyed the silence from my apartment. I always liked being alone, since it had been a big part of my adult life. I put my suit on and looked again at the mirror. A long time ago I looked pretty, but that day I just look tired and sad. I used to think of myself as strong, powerful and beautiful woman, but I just became an ordinary woman. The diamond ring on my finger, that for many women would be like a gift, was a heavy reminder that one day I would have to open my heart to Peter. He was a good guy, an amazing guy. what was my problem? No more questions. I don't have patience to think or the time since I am late for work, _again_. Being sorry for myself is occupying a lot of my time.

As soon as I put my expensive handbag on the table my assistant called out to tell me that Lanie called. I am not in the mood for Lanie; I loved her, but not that day.

"Please, if anybody calls, just say that I'm very busy, even if I'm not," I responded.

It is not that I hate my life; I even liked it, sometimes. But when you lose a parent when you needed him the most and the other one just forgets you, something inside you breaks. I am not saying my mother's death made impossible for me to be happy, but it really didn't help. My mom's case was closed, and my dad had a new life and nice wife. I was rich and was engaged to a really good man. Everything was perfect but some days I was still a little blue.

"Okay, Kate please stop being sorry for yourself; you are being really stupid, my dear. Breathe, count to ten: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Now you really have to work, Kate," I said under my breath.

A few hours later when I was about to leave work, my cell phone rang. It was my fiancé. Not really anxious to hear his voice, I ignored the call and made a mental note to call him later, when I was feeling a little bit better.

"Kate?"

"Yes, Patricia?" I looked up to see my assistant standing in front of me.

"Lanie called again and said that if you don't answer her, she is coming here."

"Okay, shit. Please call her and transfer her to me, okay?"

"Sure, one second."

I really did love Lanie, but she was a outgoing person, and sometimes she didn't understand that I needed to be alone. We became friends in college; she was doing pre-med and I was studying law. In the first moment, we clicked and have been friends since.

"Kate, darling, how are you today?" Her voice filled my ears through the phone.

"I am fine, Lanie. How are you?"

"You didn't really convince me that you are fine; we all know how you are. I am not going to push you on the subject. I am good, dear. How is your man? Still boring and your husband-to-be?"

"Peter is fine, and he is not boring! He just doesn't share your sense of humor," I retorted. I was getting tired of having this same conversation every time I talked to Lanie. I get it, Lanie didn't think Peter was the right man for me, but could she please just drop the subject? it wasn't like I was going to marry him anytime soon; I am just engaged.

"Oh, baby, he doesn't have _any_ sense of humor. Please remind me again why you are still engaged to him?"

Okay, she had a point. Peter wasn't the funniest man on earth. Well, he wasn't fun at _all_. But like I said, he was a good man.

"Lanie, you know why: he is a good man, doesn't judge my scars and I love him."

"Baby, your scars are a beautiful part of who you are. It's his duty to love your scars and if he loves you, you know that. And I don't really think you love him. You think you love him because he always there. Baby, you can do so much better, you know that, don't you?"

Did she forgot how some of my boyfriends got really spooked with my scars? If I found a man who doesn't mind having sex with me where I was totally naked without a shirt or something like that, I was going to stay with him. Now I was having an internal conversation with myself, great, just great!

"Lanie, look, I have a lot of things to do. Can you call me later? We can do anything you want, you chose, except go to a gay club. I really can't do that again." I chuckled at the memory.

"Okay, baby. Don't worry, I was just testing my waters. I came to the conclusion that I really like men. You don't need to worry, we are never going there again. I am going to find something really fun for us to do tonight."

"Okay, sure. I have to go. Bye, and I love you."

"Love you too, darling," I replied, hanging up.

I took the opportunity to go to the coffee shop near my office. I was practically done for the day, and I could use the cafe's internet to finish the rest. I wasn't really in the mood to finish, but coffee usually helped since my work was constant and my favorite part of my life.

**CPOV (Castle)**

I stared at the blank screen on my computer; I had been doing it since I finished my last novel. I wanted to write but nothing would come to my mind and I was really tried. I didn't really need the money but I had a contract with Black Pawn so I had to write a new book.

I just had to find inspiration: maybe a person, an old movie or maybe my daughter would have some story that would give me an idea, but she wasn't here at the time.

After searching the entire loft looking for something to do or something inspirational, I decided that it was better go out, look around the city. Maybe I could find something interesting.

With a strange feeling of hope that I could find a story, I went to my favorite coffee shop. I didn't know how, but they make the _best_ coffee in all New York.

When I entered the coffee shop, it was almost empty with just two people in line. Since I was feeling really good about myself that day, I ordered the most creative coffee I could think of. I sat a table that gave me a view of all the shop and who came and went and started drinking my coffee and looking around, searching for someone who could give a story, but everybody looked boring and futile.

There was something about this society that made everybody seem boring. Everybody was practically the same. I really couldn't understand why everybody looked the same and thought the same. It make me mad; I like the extraordinary, the different, and it was with that thought that I heard the bell ring. I wasn't really anxious to look at the new person with the same look on their face and the same, blank eyes that expressed nothing.

The first thing that I noticed about the person that entered was that it was a woman. She was dressed in expensive clothes and there was a large diamond ring on her finger that could only mean that was an engagement ring. She was tall, probably the same height as me, with her super high heels. Without them she wouldn't appear small; she was too slim for that and her legs appeared to be too long to belong to a small person. I couldn't see her face because her hair cascaded in front of it, blocking my view.

Her super high heels made a loud sound throughout the silent and almost empty coffee shop. The line was now nonexistent so she didn't have to wait to order. I still couldn't see her face so I started paying attention to her hand where the ring sat. The hand was white, and the skin looked so fragile.

Hoping to get a look of her face, I looked up and caught a piece of her face. Her face was as white as her hand, and the skin there also looked fragile. A strange feeling came over me, like I wanted to take care of her. When she began to look around with her coffee in her hands, searching for a table to sit at, I caught a glimpse of her eyes. They were empty, like her life was so hard on her that they lost their happiness. How could life been this hard to make her eyes this way? She didn't look that life treated her bad, but you never knew, the saddest people are the best people to hide their sadness; I learned that a long time ago.

When the woman finally found a table close to the window she looked to the street, as if she was trying to find something or someone out there that could maybe save her for the emptiness that her eyes showed.

Another feeling came rushing over me, and I had to take a better look at her. I knew she was beautiful, but I needed to really look at her face and not just glimpse of it. Using my charm, maybe she would talk to me or at least I could look at her long enough to really see her face. With my muffin still wrapped in its packing I walked towards her.

"Hey. I am feeling kinda lonely, could I sit with you?" I said, thinking that it really wasn't my best line but maybe it would work.

She looked up staring at me with that, now confirmed, beautiful, gorgeous face, her eyebrows moved slightly up, like questioning my intentions.

"Hm... sure," She said almost uncertain how she should proceed with my approach.

"Do you want my muffin? I bought it but now I don't want it. I don't want to throw away," I said trying to open a conversation.

"I'm not hungry, why don't you save it for later?" She was smart, giving me a polite reply that wouldn't offend me and sat in silence, once again looking out the window.

"I am Richard, and you are?" She was a hard woman to start a conversation with.

"Katherine," She answered me dryly, looking in my eyes with big hazel eyes.

The woman with the empty eyes that now had a name looked at me like she could see my soul, and she gave me a polite smile that came easy to her face, like it was second nature.

We sat in a comfortable silence. I had no idea what to say now that I was there, beside the only woman that attracted me in long time not just by her looks but because she lacked the similarities I have begun to see in everyone. Trying to come up with something before she left me alone without knowing how I could possible contact her, I tried again to start a conversation:

"What you do for a living?"

"I am a lawyer, you?" That explains why she appeared to be smart and wore expensive clothes.

"Writer. I write mystery novels. Maybe you have read some of them; I am Richard Castle."

Maybe my name would make her more interested in talking to me if she heard of me.

"Hmm… I have read some of your work. Nice books, I really liked them."

Okay, now it was official: she really didn't want to talk to me. That was the worst response I have ever heard after whoever i was talking to realized who I was.

"Er… Thank you."

"You're welcome. Look, I have to go; it was nice meeting you," She said looking at her watch, expensive by the looks of it.

Oh, shit, she was leaving. But she couldn't leave, I didn't even know her last name.

"Could I have your number?" I asked sounding a little too desperate to my taste.

"Sorry, I am engaged," she said and showed me her enormous diamond ring confirming her statement, like someone could miss it.

"You sound like a nice person to talk to; we could be friends or something..." I trailed off. I was lying, okay. She really looked a nice person to talk to but even if she was engaged I really wanted see if her lips were as soft as they looked.

"Hm… sure," she said, still unsure.

After searching her purse for a few seconds, she gave me her business card and left leaving me looking at the chair that she occupied just a few minutes ago.

"Katherine Beckett, family law," I said out loud, trying to remember where I had seen that name, and not remembering, I took out my cell phone and opened Google. I searched her name and when it showed a lot of results, I started reading and remembered where I had saw her name: In the paper. She was one of the most famous and the youngest lawyer in the business.

Barely willing to wait another day to call her, I went home thinking why someone so good at their job would look so empty.

I would like to thank you for reading, please review your opinion and questions.


	2. The hours after

Hi guys, sorry for the delay. I hope you like, I already have chapter 3 finished and 4 is practically finished so probably I am going to upload soon.

Ps: Don't forget to comment.

xoxo

**KPOV (Katherine/ Kate)**

_What the fuck had just happened? _I thought. Richard Castle, my favorite author, just asked for my number. oh, God, that is the strangest thing ever!

Since my mother was murdered I developed a taste for mystery novels, and Richard Castle, being one of the most famous authors of the genre and one of my mother's favorite authors of all time, became a favorite of mine as well.

I couldn't wrap my mind around what had just happened; Yes, I've been told that I was a beautiful woman but Richard Castle could have practically any woman he wanted, and even after I showed him my ring he still wanted my number.

Still trying to regain my posture, I stopped in front of my office building's door and counted to ten to calm myself.

Slightly calmer, I entered the building feeling less sad than I felt in the morning. With a new energy that was passing through my body I went to my office passing Patricia, my assistant, and for the first time that week, I gave her a real smile, not just the polite, forced smile that I usually gave. Patricia probably thought that I finally lost it. She was a good assistant that never questioned my humor, which sometimes changed from water to wine in a few hours.

While trying to not to be too anxious waiting for Richard to call, I called Lanie and asked if she already had any ideas on where we would be going later. Lanie, being Lanie, already had a plan:

"Baby, we are going to a new bar that opened this month, and you have to look A-MA-ZING!"

"Hmm… sure, Lanie. I'm pretty sure I have a dress at my house that will work. You'll be happy, don't worry," I told her, visualizing the dress in my head.

"You don't have to make me happy, darling. You have to make every guy in the place happy, do you understand? You have to be A-MA-ZING!"

"Lanie, I got it. I have to dress to kill, wear make-up, put my hair up or do something sexy, I got it."

"Good, Kate. You know that I love you, right?"

"Yeah, I know. I love you too, never forget. Sometimes I am a bitch but you are someone that I never stop loving, okay?"

"Of course, darling. don't worry, I know that."

"Okay, good. It's six o'clock now. What time do you want to meet?" I asked.

"How about ten?"

"Sure. Just call when you are close so I can wait for you downstairs."

"Okay, love you, bye. Go get sexy," She said, laughing.

"Yeah, you too, love you." I said and pulled the phone away from my ear, hanging up.

Not really anxious to go to the bar, I finished my work and around seven I went home. As I got there, I remembered that I still needed to call Peter. There was a conversation that I really didn't want to have, but was necessary.

"Hi, love, I'm glad you called. How are you?" Peter said with his sweetest voice. I think is was because he was a psychiatrist that he got my humor swings, understood me and didn't complain when I was feelings sad. He just accepted it and loved me anyways.

"I'm fine. How are you?" I tried to sound cheerful since I ignored his call earlier.

"Better now, love. How was your day?"

"Fine. It was busy. You know how it is when I have a big case," I said, glad for the small talk.

"Will this one end up in the paper?" In my last case, a couple was getting a divorce and the husband was very rich and the owner of a famous restaurant. Since I got him a pretty good deal in the divorce, I ended up in the news as one of the best lawyers in the city. That day I was requested in almost 10 new cases, obviously I didn't take them all.

"Probably not," I said. "Listen, Peter. Lanie invited me to go to a new bar with her, and I need to get ready. How about we go out tomorrow? Dinner, movie? Anything you want, love."

"My Kate, I can't wait. I miss you so much, darling."

"Me too," I said, feeling guilty because I didn't, not really. Oh, God. What was wrong with me? I hadn't seen the guy I was going to marry for three days and I really didn't miss him. In fact, I was slightly glad that I _hadn't_ seen him.

"I don't want you to be late, so, goodnight. I love you."

"You, too."

Since Lanie asked me to dress 'A-MA-ZING', I chose my red dress made by Valentino that hugged me in all the right places. With it I wore high heels that made me look really tall. I am not really a fan of wearing a lot of makeup, so I just used my eyeliner, mascara and a nude lipstick. Feeling good with myself, I was ready to drink some wine while I listened to other people conversation.

When we got to the bar, I felt like I didn't belong in this world anymore. Lanie, beside me, was talking about something that Javier, her boyfriend, did. It probably was something pretty good because she was telling the story with such energy. I almost felt jealous of her; Javier was creative and a perfect boyfriend. Peter was boring. He never did anything extraordinary; everything was ordinary just like me. Ah, how I wished I was 'A-MA-ZING', as Lanie would put it.

The bar was flooded with good energy, I could feel it around me but it didn't try to enter in my world.

Lanie stopped telling her story and was waiting for my comment. I had no idea what Javier did so I just answered with some response that fit everything.

"How nice of him." I said and gave her my biggest smile.

"You weren't listening," she said, once again proving how much she really knew me.

"Of course I listened, but since you don't believe me, could we please order a drink? I could really use one about now."

"Sure," she said, eyeing me suspiciously.

On days like those I was a bad friend. I was a selfish person when I am sad; I just thought about me.

While nursing my martini I looked around. I could see some good looking guys drinking beer or whisky and checking out the girls, probably searching for a one night stand. When Peter and I started dating, sometimes I betrayed him with some of these random guys that I would find in the bars. It was not that I thought it was right, I knew it was wrong, but I needed sex and my relationship with Peter wasn't in that stage. Tthat night I wasn't searching for a night stand although Peter was a boring man he usually kept me satisfied in the bedroom.

Lanie was looking around too, judging the place and seeing if I was good enough for us to come back again. For me it was perfect. The atmosphere was good, the guys were good looking and everybody was dressed perfectly. The drinks were good and the service was good enough that I didn't need to look stupid by waving my hands and waiting for someone to come to me and ask what I would want to drink. The best part, though, was that It didn't have the gross peanuts for the customers.

Lanie started talking about her day and the newest case. She was basically a me for the NYPD. This time I was paying attention to what she was saying, and her life usually gave me a good escape from my own thoughts. After my fourth drink I had to stop; the vodka was making my head spin a little.

"And you, Kate. What's news in your life?"

"I met Richard Castle in a coffee shop," I said really fast, kinda hoping that she didn't hear and that we could move on to the next subject.

"_What?"_ She screamed and a couple of people looked at us like they wondering if we drank too much and couldn't handle our liquor.

"He approached me in the coffee shop near my office, you know, the one that makes the _best_ coffee in all New York and asked for my number. I was like: _oh my god, really? My number?! _But I acted cool, not really in the mood to be witty and not wanting to pass the idea that I was easy since I am engaged."

"I imagine! So, do you think he will call? Did you make sure he knew you are engaged?"

"Yes, after he asked for my number I showed him my ring but he still asked for my number, said he wanted to be just be friends since I was engaged," I responded, my head feeling light from the drinks.

"Baby, I know you cheated on Peter at the beginning of your relationship but you shouldn't do it now. You guys are engaged, I don't like him and I know that you don't love him as much as you say but that doesn't give you the right to cheat on him. If you feel the need to search for another guy for every need you have, you should end it. He is boring but he is a nice guy and really loves you, he doesn't deserve that. So if you are planning on sleeping with Richard Castle you have to break off with Peter," Lanie said, sounding too serious for a conversation in a bar, but she was right, Peter didn't deserve that.

"Lanie, I know, and I am not planning on sleeping with him, just chill out! Do you want another Bloody Mary?" I asked trying to change the focus of our conversation; I rarely liked being on spot since I was a private person and I was almost sure that if I have a chance to sleep with Richard Castle I wouldn't want to. He was very handsome but although I usually sleep around I didn't want to be one of _his _conquests.

Lanie got the message and let the subject go. We spent the rest of the evening talking about so much but nothing at the same time. At 1am I called the night- I needed to go home and get some sleep.

I was tipsy enough to just hit the bed, without any of my pills. After almost a decade and a half of my mother's death, I still had panic attacks at night and trouble sleeping, maybe some things were forever; my mom wasn't here anymore but those little problems were reminders that a long time ago she walked on the earth.

**CPOV (Castle)**

Arriving at home I found my daughter, Alexis, watching a movie with so much attention that she didn't see me come in.

I loved Alexis so much that a long time ago I became content with just being her father. I had been married twice, first with Alexis' mother who I never really loved and just married to do "the right thing" and then with Gina another one that I didn't love but could be a female model for Alexis since she was entering her teen years. With Gina I was proved wrong; I discovered that she was the kind of woman that I didn't want my daughter to become.

"Hey, pumpkin. How are you?" I said trying to get her attention.

"Hi, dad. I'm good. How are you?" She answered me changing her attention from the movie to me.

"I am good, too. What are you watching?"

"Pride and Prejudice, my favorite."

"Okay, sorry to interrupt. I am going to the office; if you need anything just tell me."

"Sure. Bye, dad." She said already changing her attention back to the movie.

With nothing to do and still with Katherine on my mind, I sat once again in front of my computer and stared at the black page that continue to mock me since I didn't have anything to put on it. Katherine, or Kate, how I wanted to call her even if we weren't close, well- we were nothing more than two people that have met in life.

Her business card was burning on the front pocket of my jeans screaming at me to call her. I wanted to wait, not wanting to sound too anxious or pass the wrong message. With the card in front of my face I stared at it like It had the power to make Kate appear on my doorstep or tell me some secret of hers that it might have heard while it was in her bag.

Feeling too tempted to call Kate, I dropped the card besides my computer and ordered a pizza to eat with Alexis. Tomorrow I would definitely call even if I needed a glass or two of my oldest whisky to make up the courage.


	3. The fiance

This post my beta reader couldn't review because she is travelling, since English is not my first language probably I won't see some mistakes, so, I am sorry. I hope you enjoy. Next chapter I will post this week! Reviews are always appreciated.

I woke up hangover and feelings that I was just waiting for the day of my death and although I sometimes felt this way I never ever thought about ending my life, I was not strong enough to do it, I didn't have the guts to do it.

While waiting to the coffee get ready and help my hangover, I made a mental list of everything I had to do:

Go out with Peter

Not think about Richard Castle

And that was about it; it was going to be an empty day, these were always the worst where you have a lot of free time so everything bad about you or your life comes to mind.

While waiting for Peter to call me with a plan to our day I started looking at my cell phone and if a stare could set something on fire, my cell phone would have been turned to ashes, because I couldn't stop looking at it and wishing that Richard Castle would call me. I started thinking that maybe Richard wasn't going to call anymore, maybe he gave up because I was almost a married woman or he thought about my face again and saw that I wasn't that good looking or maybe he came to the conclusion that I wasn't good enough…. My mind could go on forever; probably is a problem a lot of people have: over analyze everything that happens in their life.

Two hours after I woke up and was feeling a little bit better Peter called, asking me out for lunch at Loeb Boathouse, an excellent choice since the day was sunny but not hot.

Seeing Peter after a week didn't bring any strong emotions, was like seeing someone that you care but didn't have a lot of affection towards but Peter react like I just gave him the best present ever and most times when I saw peter so happy because of my presence I felt guilt, I didn't understand why his happiness was so linked with my presence in his life, I was never a good girlfriend, never a good friend to him and never that pleasant and he was such a good person, good looking and always so attentive towards me and my problems, probably he was trying to save me, but I didn't need a hero I needed someone that would light up my world and make me feel that I belonged with that person and he wasn't that person, sadly.

I always thought that if I found someone to call home I wouldn't be this depressed, after being left by my mom (wasn't her option but happened) and by my dad I lost the feeling of home. I traveled around the world trying to find it again but never found so I just gave up.

Peter couldn't stop talking about his week, probably a new interesting patient; these days almost everybody had some kind of mental illness and when I said that society was sick nobody believed in me, stupid people who couldn't look around them.

"So, when do you want to start planning the wedding?" Peter said almost hesitant of his question.

"I really don't know, I will look at my calendar and see when I have some time" I said in my sweetest voice, I knew I couldn't put it on hold forever, we have been engaged for a year and Peter or I never said anything about it.

"That's okay, take your time, my mother already started asking when the wedding is going to be and realize that we really never talked about it and I can't wait to call you my wife, so find some time, you know, I don't care about how much you spend if you want I can pay for all"

"Peter, you know I am rich, I can pay my own wedding, thank you." I always hated when Peter offered to pay things for me like I was a charity case who needed his money. Which I was not.

"I know Kate, I just want you to be happy, you know that and if paying for our wedding will make you happy, then I will do it. We talked about it already baby, you don't have to always be armed and ready to fight back every time you meet with me or anyone else for that matter."

"Peter, you know that I hate when you analyze." I said with an irritated voice.

"I know baby, I wasn't analyzing you, I was just saying what your therapist said when we did couple therapy." He said with a condescending voice like he was talking with a child.

"Okay, I got it, can we please just order?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"I want Steak Frites with coke please" I said already handing the menu for the waiter.

"And I want Lemon-Oregano Crusted Salmon with soda" Peter had something against red meat that I never fully understood.

We sat there in a comfortable silence, which was some of the things that I loved the most about Peter; we could sit in silence for hours without anyone being uncomfortable about it.

People usually feel the need to feel the silence with thousands of words that are empty; they just keep talking bullshit because the silence makes them uncomfortable like it could hurt, maybe just because the silence screams the truth, it shows the imperfections of their not-so-perfect life, but I loved the silence.

Like we sat in a comfortable silence while waiting for the food, we ate in a comfortable silence that day and because of this I remembered why I loved Peter and why I was going to marry him; he didn't push me. He accepted everything I had to give with a big smile in his face like I didn't have to be so gentle, or to have sex with him, or that I didn't have to go out with him and maybe that was his biggest mistake, because I knew that he wouldn't push me I gave him the scraps of myself.

That night we went back to his place, we ate strawberry while watching TV and laughed together; in bed we made love for the first time in a week after we stayed in bed with our comfortable silence as company while Peter would pass the tip of his fingers on my scars repeating that he loved me so much, I felt contented and loved.

In the morning we made love again and I found myself realizing that I really missed Peter's touch, he was always really gentle.

I cooked lunch for us and we ate watching crap programs on the TV, Peter always liked staying at home on Sunday, I never really understood why, I loved staying at home but Sunday was the last day I wanted to stay in, it is always an amazing day to walk around since the city is almost empty.

When we were lying down Peter usually would pass his fingers through my long hair, and that day wasn't different, I liked it, gave me that feeling of being loved that I usually craved so much from people, looking into my eyes he said:

"Baby, you know that I love you very much, don't you?"

"Yes Peter I know and you know that I love you very much too, don't you?" I said still looking in his eyes.

"Yes Kate, I know." And with that he looked back to the TV ending the weird subject.

Later when I was packing my things to go home, Peter handed me an invitation:

"Peter what is this?" I asked looking the invitation inviting us for a birthday party of a person that the name I couldn't recognize.

"It is an invitation for the birthday parties of my niece remember her? We saw her last Christmas, she is a redhead, and she is going to make 6 years, my sister gave me the invitation Friday, the party is Wednesday in the afternoon and I know you are a busy person but could you please make time?"

"Peter, I will do my best, but why Wednesday? People have to work!" I said a little impatient with the situation.

"The kids are on vacation, and a lot of the mothers don't work and you know how Sarah likes to do the party at the exactly day of the birthday."

"Okay, sure, I will be there and I will drive myself, you can go from practice and I will go from the office." I said already going to the door.

"Sure, please don't be late, everybody will be there and you know how my family complains that you work too much. I understand that is your job and you love it but everybody doesn't." Peter said walking with me to the door.

"I won't be late, I promise. Bye, love you" I said kissing him.

"Love you too."

When I was entering on my car my cell phone ringed and a number that I didn't know appear on my screen, my heart started racing because I knew who probably was. Richard Castle.


	4. The first date

I want to apologize again because my beta still not back from her trip, I read this chapter 4 times but probably I missed something, so I am sorry. I hope you like it and I always like to talk about the story and I always accept suggestions. Ps: don't be mean, I have a fragile ego.

**CPOV (Castle)**

"Katherine Beckett." She answered with a serious voice

"Hi Katherine, its Richard Castle from the coffee shop, how are you?" I said with my most welcoming voice.

"Hello Richard, I'm fine and you?" She said with a much less serious voice that I hadn't had the pleasure to listen at our little time together at the coffee shop.

"I'm good too, thank you. So I was thinking when do you want to meet?" I felt a little too bold to ask the question without making a little of small talk before but I had wanted to ask her out for a few days and I didn't know why but I felt anxious to look at her eyes again and maybe this time, hear her laugh.

"Hm… how about tonight around 7? I'm free."

"Yeah, sure. Can we meet at The Old Haunt? I will send you the location."

"Sure, bye, see you in a few hours."

And with that she was gone, I stood there looking at my cell phone like I couldn't believe that finally I would see her, already felling nervous to be at her presence again, being the object of her attention. I had 3 hours to be in my best casual clothes.

"Alexis, get down here" If I needed to be in my best I should probably ask to my teenage daughter with an excellent taste.

"Yes dad? What do you need?"

"Pumpkin I need you to help me choose some clothes for my date tonight" Okay, Kate was engaged so wasn't really a date more like a drink between future friends but the least I could do was dream.

"Dad, you need help for get ready for a date?" She asked with a questioning face like I just asked her the strangest question that she has ever heard in her entire life.

"Yes, please Alexis, is in a few hours at the The Old Haunt and I want to look _very_ good, could you help me?"

"Okay, let's see what we have here." She said going into my closet and looking at all my shirts, after a few minutes she got out with my blue shirt, a black jacket. "Put these on and you can keep the pants that you are wearing" She said handing me the clothes "Okay, turn around let's see"

"Alexis, are you sure about the jacket?" I said looking myself at the mirror, I wasn't certain about the jacket since inside the bar could get too hot for the jacket so why use a jacket if I was going to take if off?

"Daddy, of course I'm sure, when you get in of course you take it off but if after you two go for a walk you can give her your jacket if she gets cold. And this shirt color makes your eyes bluer than ever. So, who is she?"

"A woman I met at a coffee shop."

"Do I know her?"

"Maybe, she appear in the TV a few weeks ago"

"_Daddy!_ Please don't tell me it is another stupid actress or model, you know that they usually just want your money and their photograph on the paper!"

"She isn't an actress or model and definitely not stupid." I said remembering all the things I read on the internet about her, I even found some news about her and her fiancé, his family was very rich and sometimes appeared on the page 6, I couldn't think what somebody like her would be doing with him, he appeared to be pretty boring.

"So, how could she have appeared on the TV? Did she kill somebody or something like that?" Maybe being vague about Kate wasn't my best move since Alexis got more curious about her.

"She is a family lawyer and a few weeks ago she got a lot of money for one of her famous clients even after the case was considered lost since the guy had cheated on his wife a lot of women." Leaving the part about her fiancé since I said that was a date, maybe she would get a wrong idea about Kate thinking that she was cheating on her fiancé.

"Wow, how did she do it? The news said it? Or maybe she gave an interview and said it?"

"Not really, I watched the interview on the YouTube and she just said that the wife wasn't as innocent she played out so she used that to get a good settlement."

"Wow, she is smart! I am so excited for you, dad, finally someone _real_!"

"Yeah, me too."

"So, what is her name? So I can watch her interview and see if she is as pretty as the girls you usually date." I tried to come up with something since if Alexis searched her on the internet would find out that she was engaged and then would appear strange that I was going on a date with a woman who is engaged, but Alexis stood there looking at me with those big blue eyes like I was hiding her favorite candy on purpose.

"Hm… is Katherine Beckett, but before you search her I have something that I have to say pumpkin..."

"Yes?" She said still looking me with those big blue eyes.

"Okay, maybe she said that she couldn't go out on a date because she is engaged and maybe I said date wrongly since she is engaged."

"_Dad, _she is engaged? Oh God, this is so wrong, why is she going out with you if she is engaged? What a bitch!"

"She is not a bitch, look, we were talking and I liked talking with her so I asked her out, she showed me her ring and said we couldn't go on a date because she is engaged and got up to leave and she was the first woman in a long time that I liked talking so before she left I told her that since she was engaged I just wanted to go out to talk and we could be friends because she appear to be a really nice person and just after I said I wouldn't try anything she gave me her card, so isn't really her fault that I said date because she already stipulated that we couldn't date." I looked at Alexis' eyes after finishing my speech waiting for some change of heart.

"Okay, I got it. And if you really think about it, would be strange to go on a date on Sunday, so obviously you are just dreaming." She said coming to the conclusion that Kate wasn't a bitch after all.

"Yeah, I'm just dreaming, Sunday isn't a date night, is a night with friends out."

"Right, so she isn't a bitch, she is just a nice woman who took pity on a guy that tried everything to see her after that first moment." She said coming to the conclusion that Kate wasn't a bitch after all and I really didn't like the part where Kate took pity on me but sounded more like what happened.

"Yes! So in a few weeks she maybe will come to dinner or lunch with us if we really enjoyed each other company and I can't bring her if you are thinking that she is a bitch."

"I got it dad, I don't think she is a bitch anymore, if she really as interesting and nice as she sound, please bring her, is always good to have some female company that could be a role model."

"Of course Alexis, I'm already going to The Old Haunt to maybe sure everything at the bar is alright before she comes."

"Okay dad, good luck." She said kissing my cheek and going up to her room.

"Bye pumpkin!"

Arriving at The Old Haunt early, I stil had one hour and half before Kate show up, if she wasn't late, although she didn't appear to be the kind of woman who would be late for meeting, dates or whatever she was calling our encounter. With a lot of things to do at the office, the time flew and soon was the time of my date with Kate; 10 minutes before 7pm I found myself feeling very nervous about our encounter; I didn't know anything about her except her job and how good she was at it and she probably could have searched on Google the last 15 years of my life.

Kate arrived shortly after I went upstairs and found a table; she looked more beautiful than the day at the coffee shop, casual clothes fitted her better, her long black hair was in a ponytail and her red sweeter made her skin much more pale more fragile than before, her skinny jeans made her legs look longer and her black high heels made her as tall as me. I got up for her to find me and when our eyes locked I wished she wasn't engaged, she waved to me with the hand that had the ring almost showing me that if I tried something more that a good talk I wouldn't probably see her again.

"Hey Richard, how are you?" She said already sitting at the booth.

"Hey Katherine, I'm fine and you?"

"I'm good, can we order?"

"Of course." And with that the waitress came like she was listening the whole time and waiting for her cue, what could probably be true since I was the boss.

"What do you guys want?" The waitress asked.

"I want a martini with olive." Kate answered smiling at her.

"And I want a beer please." I answered.

"Okay, in a few minutes I will bring your drinks." And with that she left.

"So, how was your weekend?" I asked trying to make a conversation.

"Good, I spent with Peter, my fiancé, and yours?" She said looking at my eyes like she could see my soul; I didn't know where she learned to look at a person with such intensity, probably in her job, it probably could be handy.

"I spent with my daughter Alexis."

"Great, how old is she?"

"She is 14."

"_Oh God_, I was the devil at that age, you think you are a grown up and not a kid but you really are none of them, you are just between so you just act stupid and do stupid things." She said with a silly smile on her face, and being that first time that I saw her smile in a conversation, it burned on my mind; I would probably remember it forever.

"Yeah, I was too. But she is very responsible; sometimes I don't think she is my daughter at all!" I said laughing.

"Maybe she behaves like her mother then?"

"She don't, thank God, Meredith is hell! But she isn't really around so Alexis can't learn to behave like her."

"I'm sorry; the worst thing ever is not have your mother around!" She said with a sad smile, and at that moment I realized that probably her mother died a long time ago because she could touch the subject without crying but she still felt her heartache.

"When did you lose yours? Sorry if I'm trespassing my boundaries by asking this question"

"That's okay, she died I was 19, a long time ago." She said with the same sad smile and with that our drinks arrived and I almost thanked the waitress for breaking strange mood that descended on our table.

"Hm… I loved this martini, it is really good, usually they don't know how much of gim to put on it.." She said taking a sip of her drink.

"Well, thank you, I own the bar and always nice that my service is making the clients happy."

"This client is very happy with the service." She winked at me and gave me a playful smile and the strange mood that had fallen at the table after talking about her dead mom, disappeared.

We talked for 2 hours and for the first time in a long time I found a woman that I could talk for hours and don't get tired or don't run out of things to say, Kate was an avid reader like me, so we could talk hours about books and writers but was passed nine o'clock.

"Richard, I better get going, I have an early morning." She said getting up and taking money from her pocket and putting it on the table.

"Please Kate, I own the bar, no need to pay." I said giving her money back.

"Are sure? I don't mind paying it."

"Yes, I'm sure and besides I am a gentleman I never let the lady pays." She looked at me suspicious.

"Okay, if you are sure, goodbye Richard, call me when you want to go out again." She said giving me a peck at the cheek and started leaving

"Hey Kate!" I called after her.

"Yeah?" She said looking back at me.

"Could I walk you home or wait with you for the cab?"

"Hm… sure, Richard."

"Maybe you could start calling me Rich now since I like to think that we are friends."

"We are, but I prefer Richard, let's save Rich for a special moment, don't you think?"

"Okay." I said smiling because she thought that we could probably have a special moment and that we were friends.

At silence we waited for her cab, when it arrived she kissed goodbye again left without one last wave from the cab's window like we always see on movies when two people really don't want to go on their separate ways.


	5. Meting the family

So guys, I apologize in advance because my beta isn't back yet, I read very carefully trying to catch the many mistakes as possible but it is hard when you write it to correct. If would like to be my beta please send me a PM. Thanks, enjoy :)

* * *

**Katherine (KBPOV)**

The cab driver asked where I would like to go and I almost answered "nowhere, I will just go back to the bar" because I couldn't remember the last time that I talked to a man for 2 hours. Richard surprised me, being all the time the perfect gentleman and an amazing company for a drink, I forgot how easy is to talk with somebody that knows nothing about you and wants nothing from you.

When I arrived at home, I went to sleep with Richard on my mind and probably for the first time in a long time, a slept through all the night without pills.

Monday and Tuesday just flew by, and soon was the birthday party of Peter's niece, Donna. I wasn't excited since I always felt out of the place in these parties where everybody seems extremely cheerful and extremely perfect.

When I arrived at the country club where the party was happening, I went to the bathroom to change my clothes; the women on Peter's family already hated me enough without arriving at a kid's party with the corrected outfit; and speaking about their hate towards me, I really didn't know what I did for them, the men and Peter's younger sister, Sarah, were always nice and welcoming but the others women were very bitchy to me; I didn't even remember ever being mean to them like I usually was to people around me.

Wearing my favorite summer dress I made my entrance at the party without being notice, I could hear kids screaming and laughing, making my way to the table where I could see Peter and Laura, his mother, I took a deep breath and put a smile on my face, trying to be the less awkward possible; it is so funny that a confident woman like me could almost piss at herself just because she is scared of her mother-in-law.

Peter saw me first and gave me that smile that said "you presence is like a present, thank you so much for sticking around" but this time I didn't feel guilt like I usually do, that day I was way too tired for that shit. Laura seeing that Peter was looking at someone followed his gaze and saw me coming, she gave me her polite smile like she always do and went back to her drink, like I said, they didn't like me.

**Laura (LPOV) Peter's mother**

I saw my son look up at someone and gave the person a big smile, I followed his gaze trying to discover who he was smiling to and saw Katherine with a beautiful summer dress that didn't show anything but probably would make the few men at the party wondering what was underneath like always happened. Peter stood up and gave her a kissed like he didn't see her in days, not appropriated for the occasion but I let it slide since he always behaved like a puppy wanting attention near her.

"Hello Laura, how are you?" Katherine said smiling polite at me and giving one kiss at each cheek.

"I am marvelous Katherine and how are you?"

"Good, I am always good." She said looking at me like a bird with a broken wing, thinking about it, she always appeared this way, like a bird that broke his wing, probably was this that used to draw the men to her.

I never quite understood why Peter fell in love with her, not that she wasn't beautiful, she was, very pretty indeed and very smart too, but she was always too reserved; at first I thought that was because she was shy but after 1 years of them dating I didn't understand how someone could spend a weekend with us without saying practically nothing. Peter and Katherine had been together for almost 4 years and nobody knew nothing about her, I bet even Peter knew nothing about her, how could you love someone who you didn't know a thing? I don't know. Probably he wanted to save her from her demons that made her looked that way, Peter always wanted to save everybody that he knew, probably that was the reason why he became a psychiatrist, was his own way of saving people.

After 10 minutes of Katherine at the party the others men started surrounding her like flies at the light, Peter lost in the middle of all attention Katherine was receiving, for that I couldn't even blame the poor woman, she usually looked annoyed with all the attention but she never let them know and was never rude with any of the men, for that I admired her, but just me; all the others women were always pissed that she was getting the attention of their husbands. I once heard one of the women say that Katherine was already engaged to a perfect man, why did she have to steal their husbands?

"Mother, what are you thinking?" Margaret my oldest daughter asked.

"What?"

"What are you thinking? We have been calling your for like ten minutes and you were lost in your thoughts."

"Katherine. I was thinking about Katherine."

"Peter's fiancee? Why were you thinking about her?" Margaret made a frown.

"Why wouldn't I think about her? She is going to be Peter's wife. And stop frowning you are going to get wrinkles."

"It is just strange; I thought you didn't like her so why would you spend time thinking about someone you don't like?"

"I like her, why wouldn't I like her? She is smart, pretty and doesn't need Peter's money."

"Yeah, but she is kind bitchy don't you think?"

"Hm… Why do you think she is bitch?"

"I don't know… she is always with that superior look on her face…" Margaret was interrupted by Sarah, my youngest.

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Katherine" I answered.

"Oh, she is so pretty today!" Sarah being one the few women without a husband in our cycle didn't have a reason to hate Katherine; in her eyes Katherine couldn't do any wrong, being in law school, she looked up for Katherine and her big success so early in her career; like Peter usually near Katherine she was like a puppy wanting attention.

"She always pretty, which is the problem! Ugh, I don't like her." Margaret said; my poor daughter envied Katherine's beauty; she has always being the ugly duck that never became swan.

"Margaret, please, that is not a reason to dislike somebody." Sarah argued, like she always does.

"It isn't just that, she has this superior look and she never cared to _really_ talk to us. We are her sisters-in-law and we don't know anything about her and we know her for almost 5 years!"

"Almost 4 years" I said

"What?" Margaret asked.

"We know her for almost 4 years, I counted."

"Okay, whatever, we know her for a long time and we don't know anything! That is just wrong."

"It is not just with us that she is this way" Sarah said.

"How do you know this?" Margaret asked intrigued.

"We studied some of her cases in the university and one of my professors know her and knew her mother, since her Mother is _dead, _did you guys knew that? Anyway, so he asked her to come and talk the class and we get to ask her questions and everything."

"Yes, I knew." I answered at the same time Margaret asked.

"Wait a minute, her mother is dead?"

"Yeah, she was murdered; was like the crime of the year because she was a famous lawyer." Sarah said with a serious face.

"Really? Oh god, how did we not know that? What was her age when her mother died?"

"I don't know, I think twenty or something."

"Okay Sarah, go back to the story where you were telling how do you know she is this with everybody." I said.

"Oh…yes; so like one of the days that she went to the university with her assistant, after class some students went to ask question and I went to talk to her assistant:

**S:**Hi, I am Peter's younger sister; how are you?

**A:**Hm… who is Peter? - she said with a confused face.

And I was like, how don't you know who is Peter?!

**S:**Katherine fiance? They have been engaged for like eight months and dating for almost 3 years, how you didn't know that?

**A:**Oh, the fiance. Well, Katherine is a very reserved person; I only knew she was engaged because I saw her ring a few months ago.

**S:**So she is cold with everybody them? Because, we have known her for a long time and we really don't know anything about her.

**A:**Yes, she is very reserved person, I work for her for almost 8 years and I just know basic things that I need to for the job, the others assistants know almost everything about their bosses.

**S:**Wow, I thought she was this way just with us.

**A:**Not really, I don't think nobody really knows her and that one of the things that I like about her.

**S:**Why do you like it?

**A:**These days everybody knows everything about everybody, is good to know that some people know who to be a reserved person; it is charming. Everybody at the firm loves and hates Katherine at the same time; all the men love her and all the girls hate her; she has this thing that draw us towards her, I really don't know what it is.

**S:**Yeah, you are right about both things.

And with that I walked way, see, nobody really knows her."

"The assistant is right." I said after a few minutes thinking about what Sarah just said.

"Right about what?" Margaret asked.

"She really has something about her that draws people, I can't put a finger what is it, but I can feel it."

"Please mother, please don't say you are failing for her act. She is just a cold person and doesn't deserve Peter."

"I don't think she is cold, she is just reserved. Look how warm she is with Donna!" Sarah defended Katherine like she usually does when Margaret offended her; we looked at Katherine playing with Donna, giggling and laughing.

With an annoyed expression Margaret went get more drinks, Sarah went back to her friends and sat there alone trying to figure out how someone could be so cold and so warm at the same time.

* * *

Okay guys, I hope you liked the different point of view, I'm going to keep change them through the story, so you guys can see what each character that isn't really relevant to the story thinks about it. Like always, review if you can! Bye xoxo


	6. Puppy love

Hi guys, thank you SO much for the reviews from last chapter, I was so glad that you guys took time to write to me. This chapter is part 2 of the party from Peter's point of view from the moment Kate walks into the party. I hope you like it.

* * *

**Peter (PPOV)**

I was afraid Katherine wouldn't come; I could never know what would be her next step. But before I could really be worried about her not coming she made her entrance; nobody notice her at first but at the moment I laid my eyes on her I was lost, she was always so pretty, so elegant and, she was _mine_.

"Hi love, how are you?"

"Hi Peter, I am fine, how are you?" She said giving me a big smile.

"I am better now, baby." I said leading her to our table, my mother as always were cold to Katherine, responding her greeting with a polite smile before going back to her drink. Obviously Kate didn't like coming to my family's party, nobody except Sarah and the men were nice to her.

"How was your work day?" I asked trying to make conversation with Katherine

"Was great, how were yours?"

"Great too" And with that we stayed in silence observing the people of the party, not wanting to break the contact I put her hands in mine trying to get all of her that she was willing to give me.

After a few minutes some of the men and my brother-in-law come to Katherine and started talking about their job and asking about hers, I never quite understood why always all the men came to talk to her, even being a psychiatrist and spending years studying human behavior I didn't get why all the men of my family have to come to talk to Kate. If they thought she was pretty, they could admire from far, but no, they were always so close. Maybe somebody could think that I was jealous, don't think it, I wasn't jealous I knew that Katherine would never cheat on me, she was better than this; cheaters usually are coward people who don't have the guts to tell their partner that their relationship isn't working and Katherine was the bravest person I knew.

After 10 minutes of the men surrounding Kate, the wifes started looking at Katherine with a jealous look, like any minute she would steal their husband.

Katherine probably starting to feel overwhelmed excused herself and went to play with Donna.

One of the things that I realized about Kate over the years was that she didn't like attention if she didn't do anything to deserve it; when she won a case and was all over the news she loved talking to the press about her work, when one of her older professor and friend asked her to come to the university and talk to the students, she loved it; But the moment the conversation was personal she would get shy. The first thing personal that I learned about her took me 5 dates when usually at the end of the second that I would know everything about the woman that I was dating; don't get me wrong, at the beginning of the relationship Katherine and I couldn't stop talking, we talked about daily, superfluous things, nothing personal, nothing deep.

"Hey Peter, how are you?" My brother-in-law, Margaret's husband, said making me come back to the reality.

"Hey Chris, I'm good, how are you?"

"Good, how is work? Still full of crazy people?" Chris had been making this same joke since he started dating Margaret, 12 years ago; to say that I was tired of it was a euphemism.

"Yeah, still full of crazy people." A few years ago I gave up of correcting him.

"Good, that's good. So, when is the wedding?"

"I don't know, Katherine said she would make time to arrange it this few next months."

"Man, if you girl has to arrange time to plan her own wedding she doesn't want to get married!" He said laughing and giving me a _"friendly"_ slap on my back.

"Katherine is a busy woman, and different from the others women we know she doesn't care if we get married or not, to her a piece of paper doesn't make a difference in our love." I really didn't believe that but I didn't have a better response.

"Yeah…sure." He said with a chuckle like he didn't believe me either. "After I proposed to Margaret, she started planning our wedding the next day and before I asked her to marry me she had been leaving advertisements of engagement ring all around my apartment giving me a hint."

"You can't compare Margaret and Katherine, they are complete different people."

"If you say so…"

I got tired of that stupid conversation; I never liked Chris, never quite understood why Margaret fell in love with him and besides that he was always rude and sexist. Not willing to stay there and listen to one more stupid thing I got up and went to the bar. Before Katherine I wasn't really a drinker, but she made drinking look so cool that sometimes when we were out I would ask for some whisky.

We never drank to be drunk but as some way to distract ourselves from the reality. Katherine usually drank much more than I but she never appeared drunk; I suspected that with her mother's death she turned to the occasional drink and drugs, not as her father that became an alcoholic, but like a drinking until pass out on the weekends. She never told anything more than the necessary about that time and she only talked about it the first time we made love since she had to explain all her scars.

I don't want to lie to you, the first time I saw those scars I got scared, without something covering it and without her bra she looked like a tormented angel. After the initial shook I fell in love with that too; it was something that made me special among all the others, because I knew about it. When she got too much attention from others men better than me, more handsome, smarter or richer, it was the scars that stopped me from going crazy jealous, I was still jealous but less that I was when we started the relationship and I didn't know about it; like knowing about it created a special bond between us.

"Hello little brother!" I heard the voice of my sister pulling me out of my thoughts

"Hi Margaret." I said with an annoyed voice.

"How are you?"

"Good and you?"

"I am good my dear, so…. When is the wedding?"

"Please Margaret, did you and your husband schemed something together? He already annoyed me talking about this today."

"We were talking about it before the birthday party, we don't scheme nothing Peter. And besides, is a valid question, you two have been engaged for almost an year, at this time, on my engagement I was already finishing planning my wedding and something tells me that Katherine didn't even start."

"She didn't start it because she is very busy, she works a lot, something that you wouldn't understand."

"It is not like she needed to work this much since after you two get married she will stop working."

"What? Why would she stop working?"

"Because when you two get married she won't needed it, you make a lot of money. She will stop working, get pregnant and raise the kids."

"We aren't going to have kids." I mumbled with my lips on the glass afraid of what commotion this statement would make.

"What? Katherine doesn't want to have kids? Oh God, please say that I heard it wrong." Margaret screamed attracting attention to our conversation and making a few people look with interest at us.

"Yes, she doesn't want too. Since I respect her wish we probably won't have any children."

"And what about you? What you want?" Margaret was now screaming and attracting more attention.

"Her body, her choices. I accepted it when I proposed and she said that she didn't want kids so if I wanted them, we should follow our own path."

"Oh, please! That is bullshit!"

"Margaret, just let it go, please!"

"What is the problem here?" My mother came to us with her calm voice that she used when we were kids and were in trouble.

"The problem is Katherine as always is!" Margaret shouted now attracting also Katherine's attention. Seeing that she was the subject of the screaming, she kissed Donna on the left cheek and started walking towards us with her posture from the court. Margaret was screwed, when Katherine had this posture it meant problem to whoever had messed up with her, or her client.

"I heard my name and the word problem without hearing the word solved which means that is impossible for that sentence to exist, so Margaret, did I hear it wrong?" Katherine said with the softest voice ever, like Margaret was some kind of kid that has difficulty understanding things.

"No, you didn't hear wrong. I was saying that almost every time there is a problem, _you are the reason._ You don't talk to us, you never come to the events, you don't want to have kids, you don't want just to be a wife, and you aren't even caring about you own_ WEDDING_" Margaret screamed very loud making now everybody from the party look including the staff.

"Look Margaret, if you weren't Peter's sister I would crush you like I usually do with people in court, and besides you being Peter's sister I am not even getting money from this shit so why waste my potential? If you want to sit and talk with me, so we can work it out all this things about me that bugs you please do! Call my office or my cell phone, which one is better for you and make an appointment anytime you want, but please don't destroy the party of your beautiful little girl. I will be waiting for your call. Have a nice afternoon."

And with that she got her bag from the table near us and left, leaving all the adults looking at the space where she was a few minutes ago without knowing what to say. Margaret was opening her mouth like a stupid goldfish and the kids were looking at the adults trying to understand what the fuck just happened there. And you ask yourself: "what about you Peter, what were you thinking or feeling?" I was imagining angry Kate on my bed.

* * *

I hope you guys are not tired of the party yet, I have some small part of it in the next chapter that I hope to post before Friday. If you have the time, leave a review, I always appreciate. Bye, have a good week :)


	7. One bitch called Margaret

Thank you guys for the reviews about the last chapter, one last different POV and then we are back to normal for a few chapters.

* * *

**Sarah (SPOV)**

Holy cow I wasn't ready for that! I knew Margaret never liked Kate, not that I knew why, she was such a good person, maybe I little too secretive but that didn't make her worst or better than anyone. But I would never in a million years think that Margaret would do something like that.

In our circle is an unspoken rule: We just say something bad about a person **_BEHIND_** her back. It is like the principle of our existence. Margaret being basically the queen of the rule, would know better that start screaming about Katherine being the problem of our family.

I was so admired with Katherine answer to Margaret that I almost clapped my hands, on my 22 years of existence and being the youngest I was always the one that got bullied by Margaret, and I had never had the courage to say a piece of my mind to her just like Kate did.

After Katherine left, everybody went crazy, Peter started screaming at Margaret for saying something like that about his fiancé, and Mom was just taking a sip of her drink observing all the commotion with an indifferent posture, like she usually was. The rest of the guests were talking loudly about the event. I was trying to chose what side to defend, I really loved Margaret but she was way out of the line with Katherine who had been nothing more that polite and kind with us since she started dating Peter.

In the end I would probably take Katherine side, I always dreamed of being her friend and maybe that was the opportunity I had to get close to her.

After 30 minutes, the commotion ended and people were acting like nothing had happened except for Peter who was with a frown on his face, looking with anger at Margaret and using the phone to call someone who was not picking him up, if I had to guess, my guess would be Katherine.

When people started leaving I was the first one to be out of the door, not wanting to stay alone with Margaret to listen her talk my ears off about all the bad things Katherine did and I couldn't take Margaret acting like Katherine was the culprit of the situation.

When I got home I called Katherine's cell phone which went to voice mail, not wanting to leave a message and since I didn't have the number of her house, I called her office and left a message to her assistant saying that I was Katherine's sister-in-law, Sarah, and wanted to talk to Katherine this week, if possible.

With my conscious clean I went to bed.

**Katherine Beckett (KBPOV)**

"Look Margaret, if you weren't Peter's sister I would crush you like I usually do with people in court, and besides you being Peter's sister I am not even getting money from this shit so why waste my potential? If you want to sit and talk with me, so we can work it out all this things about me that bugs you, please do! Call my office or my cell phone, which one is better for you and make an appointment anytime you want, but please don't destroy the party of your beautiful little girl. I will be waiting for your call. Have a nice afternoon."

After I said it, I picked up my bag and stormed out of there; Margaret had always been the bitch queen but that was way too much; she was always fucking judging me, who the fuck she thought she was?

When I arrived at my car I was at verge of crying; I hated how I always cried when I was very angry. I sat in the car seat put my bag and passenger seat and took a deep breath; I needed to calm the fuck down! I held at the wheel tightly, like that I could use it to help my calm down.

I prayed that Peter wouldn't follow me, I needed to be alone. When people like her, who thinks is better than the entire population of the planet, judged me my hands always started tingling for me to cut myself, but I didn't any space left and I knew that when you do it once, you _just_ can't stop. I closed my eyes and thought what word I would cut if I could, emphasis on the _could. _Probably misinterpreted, no, too big; or knew, is better because at that moment I wish I knew what I could do for them to like me. After a few minutes, when I was feeling a little more stable I raced home where I could lay the rest of the night and enjoy my company.

When I arrived home my answering machine was blinking:

"Not today buddy" I said out loud to no one in particular, anything that was there could wait, I could check first thing in the morning before going to work. With the happy thought that tomorrow was a week day so I would go to work, I slept running my fingers through my beloved scars.

In the morning I woke up with the alarm, a rare thing, I was usually very awake when the alarm ringed. Before I went out for work, I remembered that I had to check my messages, which during the night had added 3 more messages. All the 6 messages were from Peter apologizing for his stupid bitch sister, dismissing fast all the messages since they said the same things over and over again, I went for work.

At work Patricia gave me the messages from the day, the only interesting in the bunch was one from Sarah wanting to talk to me, weird, she was always nice but not really talkative, since she was nice I asked Patricia to call her and schedule a brunch at my favorite coffee shop near the office for the next day. Before immersing myself at work I called Lanie:

"Hey Lanie, how are you?" I said when she picked up her phone.

"I am good girl, how are you?"

"I am fine, I was thinking if we could go to lunch together today?"

"Yeah, sure girl. Where do you want to go?"

"Maybe at The Old Haunt, it is a new place that I discovered. I will send you the location."

"How did you discover a new place? I thought Peter just liked the expensive stuff and that one doesn't sound like one. "

"I tell you when we get there. I need to work."

"Okay, see you there at 1 pm, don't be late!"

"I never am darling." I said with a grin.

"Yes, you always are darling! If you are more than 10 minutes late I'm going to leave, do you understand?"

"Yes captain! Love you, bye."

"Bye, see you in a few hours."

When I hung up I asked myself why Lanie didn't asked me anything about my date with Castle and then I realized that I didn't tell her that he called me back; I would just tell her at the bar and hope she didn't make such a big deal about it.

At 12 o'clock I left my office trying to get there before Lanie. The traffic was horrible like usually was and I got there 10 minutes before 1. Looking around for a table I sat at a corner that gave me a view of the entire place.

At 1 pm sharp Lanie arrived, seeing me after just a few seconds looking, me being the only woman in an expensive suit made easy to her, she walked to our table and sat down.

"Hey Kate, how are you baby?"

"Hum…good, you?" I said trying to think come up with a way to tell her about my encounter with Castle and Margaret scandal last night.

"I'm good, but you don't sound so sure you are good, what's up?" She said with a worried voice.

"Last night Margaret made a scandal at Donna's party, saying I was the reason of all their problems. She was like screaming to everybody hears it. Argh, she is such a bitch."

"Wow girl, that wasn't nice. Who did you handle it?"

"My way you know… said some things, never offending her, that isn't who I am and stormed out of there."

"Did Peter call you?"

"A million of times I'm not picking up, I'm not ready to deal with him yet, I will call him before the end of the week."

"Sure, don't forget to call him; it isn't his fault that his sister is such a bitch."

"I know. Let's order?"

"Okay."

After we ordered, I took a sip of my soda, since it was lunch time and after I was going to go back to the office I couldn't order anything with alcohol, sadly.

"So, how did you discover this place?" She said while we waited for our lunch.

"Hum... do you remember Richard Castle?"

"Mmmhhhmm…" She said with a grin.

"So, he called me Sunday and I was doing nothing and we came here. Actually, this is his bar."

"Girl, I _can't _believe you have been holding this kind of information on me. How did it go?"

"I was great, he is so nice. We talked for like two hours about everything."

"Did he make a pass on you?"

"Of course he didn't! I made very clear that I am an engaged woman, and he respects that. He just wanted to be my friend you know, talk."

"Yeah sure, the guy went out with a beautiful engaged woman just because he wanted to talk. I don't believe that you are really thinking that is just it."

"Look, he probably doesn't go out with a lot of women who don't want nothing from him, he probably saw the opportunity to have a nice conversation with someone not interested on his money or having a picture take to the page 6 or something like that, Lanie."

"Girl, you aren't fooling me with this little speech of yours."

"Please" I said rolling my eyes "Don't make it more than it is, you are going to get disappointed."

After that our conversation headed to others direction and we talked about her and Javier, when our lunch arrived we didn't even talk to each other, too hungry to waste time and enjoying our meal too much. When we were saying goodbye I dropped the last bomb that I remembered at the last minute at Lanie:

"And before I forget, we have to start planning my wedding." I said while kissing her cheek.

"_What?_"

"We have to start planning my wedding" I said it again louder. "It is time, you know. Peter and I have been engaged for almost one year, it is time for the weeding."

"Girl, you can't give up if you start the planning, are you sure about that?"

"Lanie, could you please stop always asking this? I love Peter and of course I am sure about the wedding. Just be supportive now please, okay? I wish I could do this with my mom but we both know that it isn't a possibility, so I need my best friend."

"Okay, no need to play that card; I will be the best maid of honor that has ever existed."

"Who said you are going to be the maid of honor?"

"Please Kate; you don't have any other friend. Of course is going to be me."

"Actually, I was thinking about asking Sarah, the Peter's sister that I like, you know, to help people like me or something like that. Maybe you both can be the maid of honor."

"Okay, good idea, involve the good sister and maybe the bad sister will like you. Talk to her and then talk to me and we will arrange a meeting with a wedding planner."

"Sure, love you Lanie."

"Love you too."

I entered at my car and went back to work thinking that Lanie was right, I only had her as a friend and nobody else, maybe would be good to have another one. Sarah seemed to be a good person, maybe we could became friends; before turning myself at the auto pilot and drive to the office, I thought "when was Richard Castle going to call me back".

* * *

Hi guys, I hope you like, as always, review you have the time. Probably the next update will be on the weekend I have 6 tests this week so... I need to study! Have a nice week. Xoxo


	8. The mettings

**Katherine (KBPOV)**

At night I couldn't sleep, I was probably anxious to meet Sarah, actually I never met any of them alone, and I was always with Peter or in an event when we usually met. But if I had to choose someone to meet outside, it probably would be Sarah; I liked her, she was so nice to me.

When my alarm went off I was already awaked passing my finger through my scars and saying out loud the words; a habit that I developed after I had to stop cutting. Usually I would pass my fingers many times through my favorite words, that laid in the middle of my tummy, "Dead Inside", had been the record of letters that I cut at once; blood were all over the floor that day, I never shaded a tear during the process and I refused to clean myself and the mess on the floor for the rest weekend, like I wanted some kind of proof that I was tough enough to do that to myself. I would stand in front of the mirror, just looking at my art; sometimes I would pass my finger through the recent cut letters and flinch because they weren't scarred yet, but the pain was a reminder: "Hey Kate, did you see what you can do to yourself? See how strong you are? You are capable of doing that and not crying, aren't you proud?" I never said that was sane, so don't question my logic.

After 10 minutes of starring at my ceiling I got out of bed to get dressed to meet Sarah.

When I got there, Sarah was already sitting at a table in front of the window where I first met Richard; when she saw me she gave almost the same smile her brother usually gave me, like I made their day by just showing up.

"Hey Sarah, how are you?" I said smiling and sitting down.

"Hi Kate, I can call you Kate, right?"

"Yeah, sure." I gave her a reassuring smile; nobody really called me that anymore, since I lost my mom, I got so serious that people started getting afraid to call me Kate.

"Hum… I want to start saying that I am sorry about Margaret, if I knew…" And before she could finish her sentence I interrupted by saying:

"Look Sarah, Margaret is Margaret and you are you; what Margaret did is our problem, not yours. So please, don't beat yourself up for something that you have no fault at all.

"Oh, thank you. I was so worried that you were angry with me." Sarah said with a relived smile, I smiled to myself too. So beautifully innocent! If you stop to think about it, I could have been just like her if mom hadn't died.

"Don't worry, if I was angry with you, I wouldn't be meting you, would I? Now, let's enjoy our coffee and not think about Margaret. Tell me about college; I hope you are not as bad as I used to be."

I said with a laugh remembering my college time when the death of my mother made me invincible and also made me not fear the death, on the contrary, made me want it. Add almost one million dollars that I had inherited from my mother's death and you could imagine the disaster.

"Well, is great you know. I love studying and I definitely chose the right career. And I don't party hard, I am way too much afraid of getting caught." She said taking a sip of her drink and laughing.

"Well, if you don't think I am too old for you, we can go out one night in the next few days. Drink, go crazy and everything." I offered, I couldn't help myself, her family were such a prude, of course she didn't party hard.

"Really?" She said with her eyes shining, who would thought that I could make two brothers love me so much and one hate me so much?

"Really." I said with a smile "I am too old for a college party but we can go to a nightclub. If you want I can even show my hocking up techniques since I won't be using it anymore."

"Wow, you are so cool." She said but probably she wasn't the type of girl that hocked up.

"I am not." OH boy, if she only knew that I used my hocking up techniques while dating her brother, I would definitely not be cool.

After that, we talked for more 10 minutes and said goodbye promising to go out the next day. When I got at my office I realized that I forgot to ask her to be my maid of honor, I could ask her on Saturday.

In the middle of the afternoon I received the call that I wasn't really anxious to receive.

"Hello Margaret."

"Hello Katherine, you said that I could call you and schedule an appointment any time I want."

"Yes, I said it. When do you want to meet, and where do you want?"

"Well, I heard that you have a big office with expensive chars that you prefer instead of my brother."

"Look Margaret, I really don't mind you coming here but if you are going to come, you have to come without the attitude."

"Of course" She said with a cynic voice "Can I come at six?"

I look at my watch, two hours until six o'clock; my work would probably be done by there.

"Of course, see you at six."

Sadly the two hours passed in a rush and soon was the time of Margaret arrival; at least, she wasn't late.

"Hi Katherine, now I understand why you never wants to leave your office."

"Margaret, what a pleasure! Why don't we just sit down?" I said with a false smile.

My office had one wall made of glass looking where one day the Twin Towers stood. The decoration was clean with a few sofas, a bookshelf, two paintings, the normal desk with chairs and a mini bar.

"Do you want to drink anything?" I asked trying to be polite.

"What do you have?" Margaret said from the sofa positioned to the glass window.

"Hum… I can ask my assistant to make you some coffee or tea, or I can serve you some wine that I have here, or if you would like something stronger you can do one shot of tequila that I also have here. So, what would you like?"

"I think I will accept the tea."

"So tea is it, I hope you don't judge me for that too but I had a long day of work and I will have a glass of wine." With that Margaret made a disgusting face, like I was an alcoholic just because I wanted to drink alcohol at 6 o'clock, poor girl, she didn't know what really was an alcoholic.

I pressed the bottom of the intercom and asked Patricia a cup of coffee.

"Soon will be there, the coffee machine we have here is very good." I said serving wine at my glass. "But let's jump the small talk, shall we? You can start talking whatever the reason you called and schedule this appointment."

"You talk first; you are the reason of the problem."

"Now, this were you are wrong Margaret. You are creating the problem and putting it on me. I am just a woman who is engaged to your brother and since the day I put my foot at your house, you and your family have been behaving like I offend you just by living." I said walking around the office, my heels making a click sound helping me make an emphasis.

"I am not the problem! You are!" Margaret said defensibly by the couch.

"Oh Margaret, please, I would like to go home and have sex with your brother. Could you please move this along? Try another line, for example." I said with the most calmed voice in the world, I wasn't going home to make love to Peter; I didn't even call him after the party and remembering that I still hadn't call I made a small note to call him when I arrived at my apartment.

"Make love, if you are engaged, you are _making_ love to my brother."

When Margaret finished her sentence Patricia arrived and gave Margaret her coffee, before she left my office I said that we were done for the day and she could go home.

"Now, that we are alone; start talking Margaret. I am serious now." I said sitting by her side.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Just say what your problem with me is and how to solve it because I am going to start planning the wedding and when I enter the family for good I want us to be good." I said pointing between us. "Today, I met Sarah for a brunch and we have always been good, so I really don't understand. I am tired of your shit, I am tired of the others women shit, I didn't do nothing for you and yet, look how you and they treat me." I said serious, I was really tired of their shit.

"Look Katherine, my problem with you is that you are so reserved and walks around like you are so better than us and the others women problem with you is that you can't set a foot at our parties that the men are attracted to you like flies at old food."

"Do you know that I have nothing to do with it, right?"

"Yes. No. I mean, could just stop dressing so good and always looking so good?"

Oh boy, this woman was fucking crazy.

"Margaret, I will _not _change my type of clothes, I don't try to look good or anything and most of the time, I don't look this good that you guys think. I am just like that, and I have been trying to make you like me, but after last Wednesday, I give up; if you don't like me, you don't like, there is not that I can do to change it. This is my last try."

"Hum… I think I get it. I will try, I don't know, to be nicer? Civil? I got your point, I will try to change. But before I got, do you love Peter?" And before I could answer my cell phone started ringing, when I got up to take it I saw in the visor Richard's name, Margaret also intrigued took a peak and when she saw Richard's name I felt like all the work we have done blown away. I picked up the phone looking at it, like as I was in some kind of weird trance.

"You are not going to answer?"

And if felt like the question had a double meaning, wasn't I going to answer if I loved Peter or wasn't I going to answer Richard? After a few seconds I snapped out of whatever I was in and ignored the call, I would call him later.

"I can call him later. And yes, of course I love Peter, Margaret. I wouldn't be marrying him if I didn't."

"Sure, who was calling you?" Being back now to her bitchy self.

"Richard."

"Richard, who?"

"A friend. Now, weren't you going?" I said impatient, we were just back to square one and was official, I gave up on Margaret.

"Yes, I was." She said with an offended voice picking up her bag and going to the door. But at that point I didn't care if she was offended or not; I just wanted her to get the hell out of there so I could go home and call Richard, because I couldn't wait to talk to him again.

* * *

Hi guys, first i want to thank you so much for the reviews it make me very happy. Second i know some of you are trying to think where the fuck i am going to this. First i wanted to have a nice background to Kate and her life after her mother was killed and trying to get you guys to understand how different she is from the Kate of the show but yet the same (I think.). Next chapter I am going to start official Kate and Castle walk through love lane. Okay, if you have time review! Next chapter this weekend (I hope). Bye.


	9. Her two boys

**Richard Castle (RCPOV)**

Since my date with Kate on Sunday I couldn't get her out of my mind; suddenly my writer's block no longer existed and the new character that I created was my companion during the day when Alexis wasn't home and during the night when she was asleep. The new character had all the bits of parts of Kate that I knew and all the others things I didn't know, I invented. In my story, she was a powerful criminal lawyer that worked side by side with Jameson Rook, an investigative journalist who is kind like me; and together they try to resolve the strangest case that appeared on the media and no one could solve; of course at some point they would do the nasty.

I had been holding myself trying not to call her too soon, trying to pass a good image of myself, but at Friday; I couldn't any longer hold myself. I had reached my limit so before I started rethinking my decision, I called Kate. After a few minutes without answer, the call got disconnected; or Kate had just hit the ignore bottom or her phone lost the battery, maybe she was busy since she was a famous lawyer and was 6:20pm, yeah, probably she was busy. I thought of all the reasons why my call got disconnected, but I couldn't accept that she ignored because she didn't want to talk to me.

After Kate didn't answer me; I started walking around the loft, trying to find something to do. My new character, who still didn't have a name, wasn't sounding appealing because it would make me think about Kate and that was the least thing I could think because if I did so, I would probably try to call her again. So I just sat there at my sofa, staring at the television, pretending to watch the news and waiting for Alexis to arrive to distract me.

At 7pm, my fingers were inching to call Kate again but I couldn't bring myself to do it and Alexis still hadn't arrived. I already called her once and I didn't want to appear desperate in her eyes. At 7:30 pm my phone started ringing, I ran towards it with my fingers crossed wishing to the gods that was Kate calling me. And for the first time in a long time, the gods heard my wish.

**Katherine (KBPOV)**

After Margaret left my office I had to regroup myself. I wanted to call Richard so much, he was the kind of person that fitted perfect in my little pathetic life; he didn't know anything and wasn't the kind of person that judges you and acts like they know all you life without knowing you, but if I called him I knew that sooner or later I was going to sleep with him or have some kind of crush on him and, I wanted to be a better person for Peter but at the same time, I needed some new friends.

Testing my skills at procrastination , I stayed at my office until 7pm trying to busy myself with unimportant task so I didn't have to came to a decision about calling Richard or not; but I missed my apartment with my bookshelves, paintings, frozen food and bed, so I had to go home. I still hadn't understood how I would move in with Peter. I loved my apartment way too much; maybe we could be married but stay living at different houses? Impossible, I know how much he wanted to life together and I couldn't have him move in with me; I couldn't bring myself to sleep with Peter every night for a long time in the same bed that I brought random guys and had sex with during the start of our relationship. I was a bad person but not that much. My head started aching just thinking about all the things that would change when we got marry.

After I arrived at home I put my not so sexy PJs that I loved so much and used usually when I needed moral support from no one in particularly. For me, there was nothing better than pajama to help you in the difficult times.

I turned the television on and put it on the news, a good lawyer ,even a family lawyer, always knew what was happening in the world; but the news were more boring that they usually were or maybe that day was me that was different, who knew?.

At 7:30pm, I couldn't hold myself any longer, so after taking two shots of tequila; I felt brave enough to return his call.

"Hey Richard, sorry about earlier, I couldn't take the call." I said trying sound relaxed.

"Hi Kate, don't worry. How are you?" He said with his calm voice and all my body relaxed.

"I am fine, you?"

"Good. How was your week?"

"Good, you know, with its ups and downs but at least I survived. How was yours?" I said with a smile.

"I was very good, since I started it with the best companion." He said with a smile on his voice and a blushed, taking the hit that he was talking about our meeting on Sunday. I didn't even remember the last time I blushed at someone.

"Good. How is your daughter?" I said remembering how much he loved her.

"Good, still a saint, I really don't know who this kid takes from." I laughed out loud. "So, when can we meet again?" He asked.

"Hum… I don't know, when do you want to meet again?" I said while I walked around my kitchen, a nervous habit that sadly I development, one more to my collection of habits.

"Well, I am free for the weekend. So, you really can choose any day and time you want."

"Maybe we can meet tomorrow at a night club? I am going out with my sister in law to teach her how to party and I am probably hocking her up with someone and I don't want to get lonely there. I could use your company." Oh boy, I couldn't believe myself. I hoped Sarah wouldn't tell Peter that I met a man at the nightclub and not any man, my favorite author. He would go so jealous and I was never in the mood to deal with the jealousy of Peter.

"If you think she doesn't mind I would love to meet you at a night club. Have you decided which one? I can get us at the VIP area if you want."

"Really? Wow, that is great. I haven't decided I will talk to Sarah, the sister in law, and I will send you a message."

"Okay then." And we stayed in silence for a few minutes, trying to understand what meant for our relationship meet somewhere so full of sexy energy.

"What was you doing that you didn't pick me up at the first time?" He asked, and surprisingly not sounding angry at me or desperate to have my attention; he just wanted to make small talk; and the thought that he wanted to spend more time with me at the phone made a shy smile appear on my face.

I told him the entire story, what Margaret did at the party, what we talked at the meeting in my office and talking to him felt so easy and good. He appeared to have listened with all his attention and sometimes making comments, after that, he talked about his day; talking about his new book and everything, inside I felt like a crazy fan girl trying to get more details about the book that were possible, without getting spoilers.

Soon we changed to different subject and without we both realizing was already 8:40pm and I still had to call Peter. Not really wanting to say goodbye but knowing that we would see each other tomorrow, we both said ours goodbye and I called Peter.

"Hey sweetie, how are you?" Peter said with his sweetest voice that he usually used when he knew that I was angry at something or someone.

"Hey Peter, I am great and you?"

"Great. I heard that Margaret called you, did you two meet?"

"Yes, we did."

"Did you guys solve whatever she had against you?" He said worried, I probably loved him a little more for staying on my side in that mess.

"Yeah, I think so. But with Margaret you never know."

"Right, well, you took so long to call me, I was worried. I missed your voice."

"I missed you too Peter."

"Can we spend tomorrow together?"

"I already have things to do; I am going out with Sarah. I want her to be my maid of honor."

"Wow that is so great that you are going to ask her. She will love it! She likes you so much; Okay, I don't want to get in the middle of your plan, have fun tomorrow, we meet at Sunday or next week. I miss waking up by your side and passing my fingers through your beautiful scars." I flinched inside, I always hated when Peter mentioned my scars; I knew they were part of me and I loved it and accepted it; but Peter had some kind of weird affection towards it or something like that, that bugged me.

"Hum… okay, sure. Look, I am tired, I had a long day. Bye, love you." I said trying to get off the phone the fastest way I could.

"Love you too, have a good night of sleep. Miss you."

With nothing more to do; I sat at my living room with a glass of wine, and stared at the wall made of glass that I had there, where I could see the central park and almost all New York, since I lived in the twenty-second floor. I loved that view; I felt like I conquered the world when I just sat there, at my favorite chair and drank my wine. I looked at the view and started feeling anxious to meet Richard and making plans with myself to buy a new dress.

At 11 pm, I went to bed, turned on the DVD and put on the second season of Suits so I could distract myself from life, so I could fall asleep.

Another habit that I had developed along the years: fall asleep distracting me from life by watching, reading or listening something that I loved so much. I was a woman of many habits some people would say.

* * *

Hey, I hope you guys liked it. I know I promised a lot of Alexis and I am getting there because I want to write her with Kate. I am sorry for not writing a lot from Castle's point of view but I don't dominate his character so every time I try to write him I can't feel the connection I feel with the others and can't really write it. Sorry about that.

I would like to thank the people that started following the story recently and who reviewed the story and who is with me since the start, **thank you!**

Review if you have time, see you guys in the middle of the week (I think and hope).

PS: If you reviewed the story, you already noted that I always answer your review, so, if you don't like it, I am sorry, but I love talking to random people and my poor social life doesn't allow me that much, hehe. Okay, bye.


	10. The smiles

**Katherine (KBPOV)**

In the morning for the first time in a week I slept in and woke up with that hopeless feeling that I slept way too long and lost something important. When I had the courage to look at the clock I saw that was only 8:23am. For a minute I forgot that I was an atheist, and thanked God.

Putting some yoga pants and a big band t-shirt that probably someone forgot here years ago; and that someone not being Peter since he didn't have any.

After some coffee I was feeling wakeful; almost anxious to meet Sarah and mostly, Richard.

I was the type of person that usually separated an outfit hours before an unimportant and important event. When I opened my closet I couldn't find anything that I wanted to wear, nothing felt right. Being days since the last time I bought an expensive dress, I took the opportunity to buy one.

After I finished my breakfast, I took a long shower. I loved to bath, the hot water relaxing my tense muscles and turning my skin a pretty tone of pink; the skin around the cuts were always a little more sensible and burned a little when the water got too hot. Another thing that I loved about bath was when I used to cut, that I would close the drain and write at myself, the mix between blood and water was so beautiful, the way my bathroom floor would be pink as my skin. Don't think I am a sadist or masochist, I hate when other people hurt me and I hated to see other people hurting. But I have no problem with _me _hurting myself.

When I felt that I was clean enough, I put my fluffy tower around me and went to my closet, put a sweater, dark jeans and flat shoes.

Later, when I was choosing my dress at Saks, Sarah called me.

"Hey Kate, our plan is still happening right?"

"Yes, of course! I am even buying a new dress."

"Good idea! Did you choose where we are going?"

"I was hoping that you were going to choose, have been years since I had been in a club. And I invited a friend to chat with when you find you someone to go home with!"

"KATE! I am not going home with anyone!"

"We can only hope! Anyway, send me the name of the nightclub when you discover because this friend of mine will put us in the VIP area."

"Really? Who is this friend?" Sarah asked with interest, before I could say who was I remembered that she was my sister-in-law so, the less she knew, the better.

"You will meet there."

"Is a guy?"

"Yes." I said not really sure if it was right giving her that piece of information but she would discover anyway.

"Is not my brother, is it?" She asked unsecured.

"Of course not! I wouldn't try to get you laid _and _bring your brother and besides, I am pretty sure that your brother can't put us on the VIP area.

"Yeah, you are right. Maybe I can go home with your friend! Is he handsome?"

"He is too old for you!" I said sadly sounding angry, her idea of going home with Richard strangely ate me alive, was not like I was going home with him, maybe if I got both of us very drunk, then I would go home with him.

"Hum... Okay. I am going to call some people and then I send you the nightclub name so you can send your friend."

"Okay, don't take your time! I need to send it soon, so he can call or whatever they do to get VIP pass."

"Sure, I will send you in the next 2 hours tops!

"I will be waiting Sarah, and I will come to get you around 10 pm, okay?"

"Perfect, I will be ready."

"Okay, see you soon."

"See you."

* * *

**Richard Castle (RCPOV)**

When Kate called me back, I was I heaven. I knew her just for a few days and talked to her 3 times but yet, she had caught my attention.

After she had asked me to go to a nightclub I felt that the limits that we put because of her fiancé changed, a nightclub is not exactly the place which you invite a guy only knowing him a few days and doesn't want to end up in bed with him. Although I was confused where that put us, I was anxious to meet her again, even if wasn't alone.

With my attire ready, I waited for Kate to send a message about the place we were going and I yet had to make a plan of how I was going to tell her about the character I created based on her, Nikki Heat. Think of how I many titles I could create with that name!

At 3pm, Kate sent me a message informing me about the nightclub we were meeting at 10:30pm.

I called Paula and asked her to organize the VIP pass and asked her to keep this low profile since I didn't want Kate to end up in the page 6 with me. A few minutes later, Paula confirmed that everything was ready and I informed Kate.

When it was 10pm I was more than ready, before going I kissed Alexis goodnight and gave her the usual orders "Stay up late, eat a lot of candies, use the money on the balcony to order food, invite some friends over; and don't even think about inviting boys over.

"Dad, you know that I won't follow your orders, I am a rebel!" She said with a smile "But, I know grandma will be please to find the extra money on the balcony."

"Yeah, I am pretty sure she will." I said laughing.

"You didn't tell me where you are going so fast!"

"A nightclub."

"This happy? You usually hate these stuff."

"Hum… today is special."

"Why?" She asked suddenly very curious on the subject.

"I am going to meet Kate."

"Kate? The engaged fiancée of someone Kate?"

"Yes."

"And you two are going to meet at a nightclub? Where people go to find someone to have eh… intercourse." She said suspicious.

"Yes, but not like that! She is going with her sister-in-law and wants company while trying to arrange someone for Sarah, the sister-in-law, to have, like you said, intercourse."

"Okay, got it. Don't forget that she is engaged dad!"

"Like that fucking ring keeps me from forgetting." I whispered to myself "Goodnight pumpkin, don't wait up!" I said opening the door.

"I will try to control myself." I heard her saying with her voice full of sarcasm when I closed the door.

The town car that I ordered was already waiting. At the nightclub, the VIP entrance had a few paparazzi hoping that someone famous would show up. I hope that they didn't notice me.

At the door I asked if Kate and Sarah was already inside which the security guard confirmed. Worried that I was late, I looked at my clock and discovered that both of us were early.

When I entered the nightclub my heart started racing, if Kate looked beautiful in casual and work clothes, I couldn't wait to see her in her party clothes.

Inside was foggy and dark although at the bar you could see people's face clear. I took some time trying to find Kate and sadly the first think that I recognized was that stupid engagement ring when she passed her hand through her hair, the lights from the place reflected at it attracting my attention and almost blinding anyone who was looking at it.

"Hey Kate!" I said in a casual tone touching her shoulders that was bare to have her attention in case she didn't hear me because of the music.

"Hello Richard!" She said kissing both of my cheeks like we had known each other forever. "How are you?" she asked.

"I am good, and who is this lady here?" I said kissing the cheeks that belonged to a cute innocent looking blond with big blue eyes that were staring at me like I was a ghost; were oblivious that Kate didn't tell her who the friend she was bringing was.

"I am Sa-Sarah." She said receiving my kisses and blushing like crazy.

"Richard Castle. Nice to meet you. " I said looking at her eyes.

"Nice to me-meet you to." She said still insecure of the situation.

"Richard, please sit here." Kate said indicating the stool by her side.

"Kate, please call me Rick, my mother calls me Richard and she is one person who I don't want to link you with."

"Everybody calls you Rick, I wouldn't like to be everybody! What if I called you Castle? Does anyone call you Castle?" She said taking a sip of her drink.

"No, nobody I can think of."

"So, it's decided. I will call you Castle from now on!" She said with a big smile.

And with that we chatted for a few minutes, Sarah still a little shy because of my presence.

"Did you look around again, Sarah? Found someone you like?" Kate said remembering everybody why we were there.

"I think so. The cute guy at the end of the bar kind is looking at us. But he is with a friend; I don't think I have the courage to go there alone since he is with someone."

"Hum… I know the answer to our problem! I am going to change my ring from finger so it is just a diamond ring without meaning, we are going to go there, I will flirt with the friend and you flirt with the guy you want. You don't mind if we go there quickly, will Castle?"

"Of course not." I said, waiting to see Kate in action.

"Sarah, I will flirt and everything but remembers, I am just flirting not cheating on your brother or something like that. Okay?"

"Yeah, sure. I know you wouldn't do anything like that." Sarah said and turned to her attention to her drink to probably work up courage to go to the guy.

Kate looked me with a smile that I could only describe it as a shameless smile, like Sarah said something very funny and oblivious not true. Maybe my second cup of whisky was affecting my brain or her third or something martini was affecting hers, because that smile told me that I wasn't going to go home alone.

"Okay, are you ready Sarah?" Kate asked changing her ring from fingers.

"Hum… I think so; can you tell me again all that stuff you told me when we arrived?"

"Yeah, sure. Remember, flip your hair a little, look him in the eyes, don't laugh that silly smiles like you are teen with a crush, remember you are a woman and you want him to think that too. Look at him through your eyelashes and final but important, don't pretend to be stupid; _it is not attractive._"

"Okay, got it. Let's go." Sarah said getting up from the stool.

I looked at them walking towards the two guys; Kate's dress drawing attention from every man being it bright red and tight, showing her beautiful curves, the guys were looking at Sarah and Kate with a hungry look. Kate soon started using her tips with the friend and Sarah with her guy. A few minutes later Sarah went to the dance floor with her guy and Kate said something to hers and came back to her stool by my side.

"My job is done!" She said with a smile and ordered another drink.

"What you said to the guy?" I asked.

"That I saw some girls entering that was sure business, and I wasn't."

"I can't believe that took just this for the guy loses interest."

"Yeah, you know. At a nightclub or come here with your partner or you a looking someone to _be your partner_." She said coming close to me and giving me a sexy smile, I gulp my drink a little too hard trying to keep my emotions in check.

"Did you use to come here with Peter?" I asked trying to move the conversation to a save topic.

"Oh please, Peter doesn't know what a nightclub is!" She said laughing at her own joke.

"So, how did you guys meet?" I asked, really interested.

"His friend hired me as his divorce lawyer, one day Peter came to court to be a supportive friend since the divorce was being pretty nasty, and found me very smart and beautiful and asked me out. I went, we started dating and here we are." She said pointing to her ring. "So, how come someone like you doesn't have a girlfriend?"

"Like you said to Sarah, every girl that comes up to me thinks that be stupid is attractive. And I can't stand this kind of woman so I usually just have a nightstand and move one."

"Ahhh, how I miss the nightstands." Kate said with a laugh. "Was everything so easy, meeting a guy that you find hot, brings him home or a hotel, if you prefers, pleasure yourself and toss him out of your life. No mess, no fuss."

"Wow, that was pretty rough."

"Yeah, I am sorry. I am way too cynical for my own good." She said with a sad smile.

How many smiles did that woman had? Each second a new emotion passed through her face and her lips and made the writer inside me crazy to discover everything about her, everything that passed through her mind, who she was, and to discover each smile that passed through her pretty lips.

"That is okay. Does Peter know how you feel?"

"Please, Peter thinks I am perfect and without emotions. _The perfect housewife_, except that he knows that won't give up my job for nothing in this world."

"Are you sure that you want to get married?" I whispered in her ear almost afraid of my question.

"At this moment, no. I don't want even to have a boyfriend." She said looking at me with her eyes full with desire and I understood why she didn't want. She wanted to be free so she could come home with me. We stayed there staring at each other eyes, saying without words how much we desired each other; but with Kate I couldn't do it. If I slept with her, I would want to have a relationship and sleeping with her while she was engaged to another guy would probably not provide me the chance to that. So I looked elsewhere and changed the topic. We talked to the rest of the night without another intense moment; just enjoying each other company.

At 2 am, Kate said that was time to go home. Sarah had a long time ago parted with her conquest of the night, thanking Kate before leaving for the tips.

Outside I found a cab for Kate and when she was entering she looked at me with that same eyes full of desire from earlier and kissed me goodnight at the corner of my mouth and whispered in my ear:

"Goodnight Castle."

Entered the cab and didn't even looked back, leaving me there looking at her cab disappearing, with a hard on and a silly on my face.

* * *

Hey guys, thank you for the reviews. Makes me so happy! If you didn't receive the reply for your review probably is because you account doesn't aloud PM. I hope you guys like this chapter and as always, **review if you can! **

See you at the weekend! If you ideas, don't be shy and send it, i will try incorporate to the story and of course I will give you the credit for the idea!

Bye!


	11. The article

**Katherine (KBPOV)**

I woke up with something ringing; whatever it was, it was loud! My head was pounding so hard, my mouth was dry and I swore again that I was never going to drink. Although I was thankful to the alcohol since it made me bold enough to kiss Castle goodbye but it also made me horny, which is never good when you are alone; I always hated how alcohol made me horny, and now I was hung over and horny because I didn't solve the problem the night before.

I was lost in my horny thoughts for a few seconds but the ringing, which still didn't stop, brought me back. Rubbing my eyes and putting my robe, I directed myself towards the kitchen to discover where the ringing was coming from; I identified it coming from the bell, meaning someone was at my door at… I looked at the clock and saw that was 10 pm, shoot, I slept too much. The person ringing my bell still hadn't stopped and was making me crazy.

"I am coming, just stop this _fucking _bell." I yelled and the person behind the door got the message. Before I opened the door I made sure my robe wasn't showing anything, I wasn't in the mood to flash anyone anything, and opened the door.

"Hey... Peter!" I said surprised

"Hello Katherine, have you seen the paper today?" He said sounding angry and barging in my apartment, throwing the paper at a table near the door.

"Not, I haven't seen it Peter; what is the problem with it?"

"Take a look yourself!" He yelled.

"Don't fucking yell, my head is pounding." I groaned at him.

"Why? Were you drinking?" He asked with a sarcastic voice.

"You know I was. I went to the nightclub with Sarah, but you know that. What is your problem Peter? I am not in the mood for your shit today" I said sitting down at a chair near the table.

"Just read the fucking paper. I bet you thought I wouldn't find out!"

"Okay, calm the fucking down, I don't know what you are talking about." I said taking the paper "What page is the problem?"

"Page 6" He spat.

When he said page 6, I felt a shiver go through my spine, that couldn't be good. I opened at page 6. My heart stopped beating or started beating faster, either way at that moment I froze. There, the main notice of the page was the title:

_"Meet Richard Castle new muse!_

_Richard Castle, the author of the series of books from Derrick Storm was seen yesterday at the nightclub Royal with a woman that we got to know recently: Katherine Beckett, one of the most prestigious family lawyers in the city and engaged to Peter Franchest, one of the heirs of the Franchest family, one of the richest family in the district. By the photos we can see that they looked very cozy and relaxed but what is our favorite author doing with an engaged woman? We are yet to discover. Take a look at the photos we got and be the judge of the following question:_

_Are they having an affair or they are just really good friends?_

_If you got curious to see what kind of engagement ring Katherine has, check out photo number two were we can see clearly the amazing size of her rock! Katherine darling, leave some millionaire to the rest of the ladies!_

_Ps: Don't fool yourself readers, she isn't a gold digger, our team did a little research and Katherine fortune is around 5 million dollars and growing! At least that, don't you think?."_

I held my breath, oh god; the pictures were worst then the text. The first one was Richard and I looking each other with smiles that were screaming "We did the nasty-nasty", the second we were laughing really close together with my hand, the hand of the ring, in his chest showing my engagement ring for the world, and third and fourth was when I kissed him goodbye, that in the photo appeared that I kissed him in the mouth instead of the corner of his mouth, which was what I did. As I stared at it blankly, Peter said:

"So, do you have something to say?"

"Not really, no" I said tossing the paper back at the table.

"You don't have anything to say? Defend yourself? Or confirm it?"

"You knew I was going at a nightclub, he appeared there, approached me, I said I was engaged, he said he just wanted to have a good talk and enjoy the place, I agreed, Sarah left with someone, I wasn't ready to call it the night so we stayed and talked. That is all." I said not wanting to tell him that we have met before.

"That is all? That is fucking all?" Peter yelled as he stood up.

"Yes peter" I said with an annoyed voice and going to the kitchen to start the coffee.

"But Katherine, they said my name! Everybody is going to talk! First, you wait one year to start planning our wedding and now this!" He screamed. "Do you even love me? Do you really want to marry me?"He asked almost whispering, like he was afraid of the answer, his eyes watering from the hurt and looking at me expecting for the answer.

"Of course I love you and of course I want to marry you! If I didn't want, I wouldn't have said yes." I said approaching him and when I finished talking I gave him a passionate kiss to show my point. "I love you baby, you know I do" I said giving him more kisses.

"I love you so much baby! When I saw the paper, was like all my world was crumbling down at me! Oh baby I can't lose you, I love you so much." He said kissing me back and hugging me.

"Yeah, you say you love me, but you entered here ready crucify me." I said getting out of his arms and picking up my coffee.

"My love clouded my judgment. Please forgive me Kate." I couldn't forgive him, because there wasn't anything to forgive, if Richard and I were a little drunker we would have gone home together, which was the problem; if I got the chance to cheat on him with Richard, I would take the opportunity. And yet, I knew Peter would crawl back to me and says that everything was his fault.

His devotion to me, the way he always said he was the wrong one, they way he just accepted what I had to give him and yet loved every bit of it, made me question if I we really should be together; maybe I was just using him for my own satisfaction or something like that and although I was usually a bad person, Peter wasn't. Maybe Lanie was right, I didn't want to really marry Peter, I was accommodated and when some new shinning toy showed up I was ready to toss Peter apart, that wasn't what a relationship was suppose to be, what a marriage was suppose to be. My parents marriage was amazing, they were so in love even after a long time together, although I didn't believe I would find it myself that didn't mean that I couldn't give Peter the chance to find it. Maybe I really should break everything off.

Even if I was still hangover, there was only a way that I could forget all the silly questions that popped in my mind when Peter crawled back to me apologizing for stuff that in the end, was my fault. Sex.

After the second round, Peter drift off and I went to the living room to check out my cell phone; my machine was blinking, it probably had a few messages probably about the article, I would deal with it later. My cell phone had several messages but the only one that interested me was from Castle, he called 4 times since 8am in the morning and sent me 12 messages, oh boy, he woke up early. To put an end at his misery and since I was sure Peter would take a long time to wake up I called Castle.

"Hey Kate, I am so glad that you called me. How are you?" Castle said with a worried voice.

"I am good, but we can cut the small talk."

"Yeah, right. Did you see it?"

"Yes, my fiancé showed me about two hours ago. How did it end up in the paper?"

"I have no idea, yesterday I asked to my publicist keep it low, you know, don't say to anybody I was going there to use for promotion or something like that. I called her today and she said she didn't do any of it. When I got there I saw the paparazzi but I thought they were there for someone else and wasn't even going to notice me."

"Clearly you were wrong." I said messaging my temples and sitting at a stool in the kitchen with a cup of water.

"Yes, clearly. How was the damage there?"

"Nothing serious, Peter got angry but we talked and everything appears to be fine now."

"I am so sorry that you went through that, if I know that something like that wasn't going to happen I would have said no."

"Hey, don't worry Castle. Tomorrow will be old news. There is just one thing that I want you to do. Just clear things out with your daughter you know, I don't want her thinking bad stuff about you." I don't know why I said it, maybe was because Richard appear to love his daughter so much, maybe I just wanted her to like me or something like that, or maybe sometimes I wasn't a selfish person, just sometimes.

"Alexis knows how the tabloids work. She gets it. She didn't get angry or something like that."

"Okay then. Well, I will do damage control with the rest of the people here, I am sure I will have to talk to a million of people to make sure everybody gets that none of that stuff is true and everything."

"Yes, of course. Next time let's just meet at places that don't draw much attention like coffee shops or The Old Haunt. If will be a next time."

"Will be a next time Richard, don't worry."

"Okay. I feel better now; I was pretty worried about you."

"No need to worry, I can sue then and win a lot of money if I can. But I won't do it; it would make the story last longer, let's just forget and move on, alright? And don't worry about me and Peter; he will always come back to me."

"Hum…Okay then. I hope I get to see you soon."

"Yes, we will get together soon. Goodbye Castle." I said with the same sensual voice I said the night before.

"Go-goodbye Kate."

I hung up with a smile in my face, what was that Castle had that always made that to me? This happier, lighter person.

* * *

Hey guys, next chapter will have a temporal jump. I don't want them to fall in love with like 3 weeks knowing each other. So the next chapter is 3 months after this chapter. I hope you liked this one, i always like the idea of the media involved in the story, so i wanted to bring it in and I will bring it in the future again. Anyway, i hoped you liked this chapter, next chapter Peter probably says goodbye so, say goodbye to him now.

Remember, if you can, please review! Always make me happy, help me with the story and motivates me.

ps: If you find a lot of errors I am very sorry, today I am very tired and tomorrow I won't have time to post, but I wanted to post something in the weekend, so, I am sorry.

**Review (or just talk to me, I love talking to you guys.)** :)


	12. The new word

**Katherine (KBPOV)**

**3 months later...**

"Hey Castle." I said sliding on the booth in The Old Haunt; we have been meeting twice a week, every Sunday and Wednesday, since the article. I couldn't remember the last time I spent so much time talking with someone just for the pleasure, I always had a reason, money or otherwise.

"Hey Kate, how are you?" He said giving me one of his brightest smiles that I got to know in the course of the last three months.

"I am good, you?" I said giving one of my best back.

"I am great. How was work today?"

"Great, I got a new client, will be a tough divorce. But she will get almost everything from it, I will do my best." I said flashing him one of my confident smiles.

"Oh, I am sure my dear." He said winking at me.

Before he could say anything my cell phone started ringing.

"One moment Castle." I said picking up my cell.

"Sure."

"Hello." I said to the phone.

"Hey baby, it is me Peter."

"Hey Peter, what's up?"

"I am waiting at the door of your apartment for you; but you are not here." He said with an accusatory voice.

"Well, I am out."

"Obviously, where are you?" He said with an impatient voice.

"I am drinking with Castle."

"That fucking author?" He screamed at the phone.

"Yes Peter, that fucking author, one of my friends, remember?"

"Of course I remember, you two appeared on the paper together, remember? Saying that you were cheating on me with him, remember? Why are you still hanging out with this guy?"

"He is my friend, Peter."

"Yeah, but I don't like him. I don't want you to see him again."

"You know what Peter? I am coming home, stay put that I am coming." And I hung up.

"Sorry about it Castle, I have to go home talk to Peter, he is being a jerk. Do you mind? We can meet again Sunday, same time and place."

"Of course Kate, I am sorry about Peter. I didn't know he hated me that much, I thought he understood that we aren't together."

"Yeah, I thought so too. Sorry about this, Rick." I said with a sad face, I loved hanging out of Richard and I didn't like the idea of leaving earlier that I usually did.

"Hey, don't worry Kate. We meet again at Sunday." He said getting up with me and kissing my cheek. Those were my favorite moments, when we would say goodbye and he would kiss my cheek. If I had much to drink, I would be brave enough to kiss near his mouth and say with a sensual voice "Goodbye Castle."

The ride home was longer the usual, I knew what was coming, the end of my engagement. We had been fighting a lot in those last 3 months, screaming each other, picking up a fight in every opportunity; nothing that the other did was enough. Peter who usually was laid back and didn't try to control me, became more possessive than ever, didn't get conformable with the silence we used to live with, he wanted that every second of our time together to be fill with talking, but he wasn't like Richard, we weren't able to talk for hours and don't notice. He would push me and push me, but I thought that if I gave him time he would stop, see that I wasn't going anywhere. That although I didn't show, somewhere inside me, I loved him.

But the time only showed me that in fact, I didn't love him. I loved the idea I had of him, that perfect man, rich, calm, who just accepted what I had to give and nothing more, but he wasn't that, or maybe one day he was but then he changed.

When I arrived home, I already had the prepared myself emotionally and mentally for the end.

"Hey Peter." I said when I arrived at my door and saw him there; sitting on the ground and resting his back on my door, waiting for his fiancée, thinking he could get away with the way he had acted the last months.

"Kate, baby. What took you so long? I have been waiting here for almost an hour for you; don't do that again with me." He said with a serious tone and face.

"Right… enter please." I said when I opened the door and dropped my purse at the table near.

"Can you do something for me to eat? I didn't eat anything after lunch."

"No, I can't. Sit down Peter, we need to talk." I said with my court voice indicating to him one of the chairs in front mine.

"Are you going to fight with me because of that stupid writer? Darling, we know he just want to sleep with you; besides we both know that the moment he sees your scars he won't want you anymore. So why hurt our perfect relationship?" I won't lie; I flinched a little when he said that, with his stupid sweet voice, like I was a fucking baby or a fucking patient.

"Peter, our relationship hasn't been perfect for quite some time. And that is why we are breaking off our engagement." I said taking off my ring. "Here your ring, you bought it, it is yours." I said giving him the ring.

"You don't have the right to break up with me." He yelled. "You don't have the fucking right! After all I had to put up with during these last five years; you don't have the fucking right! You humiliated me several times in front of my family; you humiliated me in front of all New York where you appeared in that fucking paper with your fucking writer, and now you what to break off with me? Bitch, you don't have the right!"

"Peter, of course I have the right. Since you doesn't anything here on my apartment, just leave, will you? I hope your life is good with you and you find somebody perfect for you." I said with my voice cold and calm and got up of my chair to open the door for him.

"But baby, you love me, don't you? Why would you break everything off if you love me? What If I change? Be better for you, I am sure I can be!" He said with his apology voice; it was always entertaining how Peter would change his act in a matter of few seconds depending in how things were going for his side.

"No Peter, I don't love. I haven't been in love with you for quite some time. So could you please just leave?" I said opening the door.

"You don't love me? After all I gave you, all I did to you, you don't love? What is wrong with me Katherine, what is my problem? Why can't you love me?" He said with pleading eyes.

"Peter, nothing is wrong with you, let's just moves on with our life. Please? I am tired, I had a busy day. If you want, tell your family you broke off everything; hates me if it will make you feel better; but we can't stay together the way we are. I don't love you; you love the idea of me that you have in your mind. We are better off separated."

"Katherine, please don't do that to me, I love you so much."

"Sorry Peter, just leave, could you? Move on; find another woman to be your perfect housewife. I can't be that person, I just can't."

"Are you sure? Is really this that you want? End our engagement like that, end 5 years of our life like that"

"Yes Peter." I said with a serious voice.

"Okay then. Just remember that I will forever love you baby. And sorry for my burst earlier; but losing is aching very much. But I will do what you want, remember, I will always love you." He said standing outside my apartment.

"Bye Peter." I said closing the door.

Almost 5 years, I just gave goodbye to five years of my life. I waited for that empty feeling that I was waiting, but never came. Kicking Peter out of my life didn't hurt; I hoped that would hurt, just so I could prove myself that I felt something, anything.

I felt like Peter deserved something, like I had to give him a piece of myself as an apology for being such a bad girlfriend/fiancée.

I went to my bathroom, opened my cabinet and looked around for my favorite blade, I had never had the courage to throw it away; it was always so smooth on my skin and together we had cut so many good words.

I took off all of my clothes; and stood there in front of my full-body mirror looking at my image with just my little panty. The words carved on my body were so beautiful and ugly at the same time, how many times Peter had passed his fingers throw it, loving it. But maybe Peter was right, Castle would be disgusted with it and wouldn't want anymore, not that I was thinking about sleeping with Castle. Anyway, I had to honor Peter somehow, to prove to myself and for him, that what we had were good, that although it ended badly at some point we were happy. What better way to honor him than carve a word on my body just for him?

I knew that once I did, it would be hard to stop doing it, but I thought: "why not? I know how to stop; I am an adult after all." Taking the blade and preparing myself to inaugurate a new place at my body, I took off my panties and looked at my hipbones. I don't know why but I never cut there, maybe I was saving it for something special? I didn't know, but there was where Peter would be always remembered.

I took the blade and took a deep breath, I prepared myself to do it after 8 years without doing it, and I would have to carve my flesh well, so it would stay there forever.

The first time the blade touched my skin, it hurt. But I took another deep breath and whispered to no one in particular "this one is for you Peter, don't say that I never cared about you." The first letter was always the hardest, the blood running through my hands, my leg, but I couldn't stop; my body felt all those things that I had forgot that I felt. The adrenaline pumped in my veins, my heart started beating faster, my eyes didn't shed a tear, I could feel my lips forming a big smile, ahh the cut smiles, and how I loved how good cutting made me feel. My face couldn't stop smiling during the process, that pleased smile that I had on my face when I would cut myself, my mind saying "that is it Katie dear, punish yourself for being such a bitch, slut, cold woman." "Good work sweetie, I am so proud of you!" "Keep the good work, cut deeper honey, make this scar be there for the rest of your life." And I would laugh, I would laugh because it made me feel like I completed something, finally I made something of myself, finally I felt something. I looked at the mirror and read out loud the new word to my bathroom "End", I read it out loud a few times, trying the word, making sure that it was perfect for the occasion; I hoped Peter forgave me for the small word, but my hipbone didn't fit a bigger word and I felt that the word was perfect. Our engagement ended, and with it, ended also whatever we had, whatever we felt, was the end of everything that we built for almost five years, was the end of his relationship with someone that couldn't love him back, it was his freedom from something toxic that someday would consume him too.

Looking at the mirror, I wasn't satisfied with my work, I wanted more, and I wanted to carve my flesh more, make that feeling last forever. So I kept carving the word, each letter at time, and the blood running through my fingers, through my leg and it was like an affirmation of my good work. After thirty minutes carving my flesh I started feeling weak, and before I knew it I passed out.

* * *

Hey guys, i know this chapter is darker than usual, i hope you liked. I would like to remember that the road of cutting is sad and hard, I had almost been there myself and **I don't recommend.** **If you feel that you want to cut or hurt yourself, PLEASE ASK FOR HELP!**

Also, I said that I couldn't post again and that is why the last chapter was sloppy, sorry about that, but today was empty, without a lot of stuff to do, so here I am. I also know that I usually don't post two chapters so close to each other, but this chapter was screaming to be written. Wednesday or Tuesday will have a new chapter as always.

_**Remember to review if you can, make a girl happy.**_


	13. The purple lips

**The Death (TDPOV)**

****I had been watching Katherine for quite sometime, since I went to pick up her mother. The poor woman, was so desperate to go back to the living world, but couldn't and sadly I couldn't help her either. Before I delivered her soul, she asked me to watch her Katie, look who she asked, to the death herself; she probably wasn't feeling great of the head, am I right?

The poor Katie, or Katherine, as I preferred to call her, became suicidal after her mother's death. The poor girl, that I watched became a woman, dealt with her mother's death the best way she could: drugs, sex, successes and cutting herself.

If I prayed, I would have prayed for her soul, but sadly I didn't.

I couldn't count with the fingers from my both hands of how many times I was almost sent to pick up her soul, the girl appeared that couldn't be happy until she killed herself doing dangerous stuff.

I couldn't tell you how many times that I watched her bleed from her words, I have to confess now that I found it so beautiful, the way her skin would appear when she cut it, the way the blood would drip, and the way the blood would drain between her fingers. So many times I almost had to get her because she let herself bleed too much but the destiny, or some kind of force, would make the bleed stop.

I didn't know when or why or even how, but some time in the middle of those 18 years that I had been watching her, I started loving her, loving her so much.

When sometimes she would pass out from the blood loss, I would stood there, divided between wanting to pick up her soul so I could tell how much I loved her and hold her for a few seconds or minutes; or wanting her to live, and keep watching her for a few more years without telling her how much I loved her.

That time, was the first word in 8 years. I missed seeing the blood dripping from her word and her fingers. I stood there above her, looking at the pretty pale face, I envied her so much. How could she be so pretty and so broken at the same time? I was afraid of touching her, her soul was almost leaving her beautiful body,and leaving a beautiful corpse behind.

I could feel her almost with me. Her lips so purple, so perfect; her hair, spread around her head like a black crown. Her words standing out on her pale skin and the newest word, _end_, so beautiful, so red, sitting on her hipbone. Sadly, it wasn't bleeding anymore since Katherine was incapable to keep carving it. I was almost giving up on resisting the temptation of touching her but someone got her before me.

**Richard Castle (RCPOV)**

When Kate said that was her fiancé calling my heart sank; they have been fighting a lot in the last months, something that she once confessed me that didn't used to happen. I felt bad for her, the engagement of a year crumbling down in front of her eyes without a good reason. But Kate never appeared sorry about it, in the rare moments where she would tell me about it, her eyes would shine, like the end of her engagement was an accomplishment of some kind.

In the last 3 months I had probably fell in love with her, but at that time I wasn't sure. The character based on her had almost a complete book of the many that were to come; but I still hadn't told her about it.

When she left, I sat there staring on the other side of the booth; like it could bring her back. Her scent, cherry or something like that; was still on the air; indicating that, indeed, she was sitting there a few minutes ago.

I waited one hour and half to call Kate to make sure that everything was okay; I called many times without success. I started to get worried, Kate always answered her phone. Maybe she was having make-up sex, I thought, but I couldn't believe Peter could last that long; because if he did, I couldn't compete with him, not that if they were together I would try to compete.

After calling 30 min non-stop I was getting extremely worried, trying to find a solution to discover if she was alright I remembered that she had a best friend called Lanie Parish who worked as a medical examiner. I called the morgue of the city trying my lucky; I didn't know if they could give me information or anything but appeared that I was lucky, Lanie Parish herself was on call and I was fast transferred to her "office":

"Doctor Parish, who am I speaking with?"

"Hi, I am Richard Castle. I am Katherine Beckett's friend."

"Oh… I know about you! So, why are you calling me?"

"I am worried about her, we were drinking when Peter called; they fought over the phone, Kate said she was going home and they were going to talk, that was 2 hours ago."

"Maybe they are doing make-up sex."

"Look, as a man, it is impossible for him to last more that long."

"Maybe they are sleeping."

"Lanie, we both know that if that was the case, she would have woken up with the phone."

"Sadly, you are right. Meet me in her apartment in 15 minutes, I have her key."

"Hum… I have never been there, text me the address?"

"Sure. See you there."

"See you."

* * *

**Lanie Parish (LPPOV)**

When Richard said she hasn't been answering her phone, I knew it. Plus the information that she fought with Peter just confirmed my worst fear, she had cut herself again; I really hoped that Kate wouldn't go at that path again because the first time was hard to save her and maybe, the second time would be impossible.

I raced to her apartment, almost afraid of what I would find. When I got there, Richard was already at the lobby, waiting for me to give the clear to the doorman to let him in.

"Hi Richard, nice to meet you." I said handing him my hand to a handshake.

"Hi Lanie, call me Rick, please. And nice to meet you too." He said giving me a handshake.

"Okay Rick, let's go check on our girl."

"Yeah." He nodded with a serious expression, oh boy, my friend Kate had obviously a new admire.

I opened the door and couldn't hear a sound in the apartment; also I didn't find any sign of struggle.

"I will look in the bedroom, maybe she isn't with her clothes on." I said to Rick while I walked towards the bedroom.

"Okay, if you need help just call me. I will look around here."

"Sure."

When I entered the bedroom I still didn't hear a thing, Kate wasn't in her bed, I walked in the closed and found nothing, and I kept walking. When I arrived at the bathroom, Kate was there lying naked in the pool of her own blood, the blade, her fucking favorite blade that I tried so many times to throw away, was lying by her side. I didn't know for how long she had been there. She looked so pale, with her lips so purple. She looked one of the many cadavers that passed through my table every day.

"Did you find her? I didn't find her anywhere here." I heard Rick says from the kitchen, snapping me from the shock of seeing my best friend, again, like that. I crouched by her side and felt her pulse, it was there but weak.

"Rick, call an ambulance! Fast!" I screamed from the bathroom.

"Wha-what? Why?"

"Just call Rick, fast!"

"Okay, okay."

While he called I went to Kate's closet and took one of hers silk robes, a bra and panty. Using all my strength, and being careful, I started putting the bra, panty and robe on her. It all would be soaked in blood when I finished but at least she would be dressed.

My clothes were starting to also get soaked in blood, but I didn't care, my eyes were trained on the task on my hands, to dress Kate.

I could hear somewhere Rick talking to somebody, when I was finishing putting Kate's panty I saw it, the new word that she engraved on herself. End. Of what? Her life? I never thought Peter meant that much for her to kill herself, and if she wanted to kill herself she knew better ways. Probably she just got lost in the "joy" from the cutting and forgot to remember that she was also in fact, a human.

"Hey Lanie, they are here. Let them do their job." Rick said pulling me out of my thoughts after I had finished dressing her.

"Yeah, of course, sure." I said getting up with Rick's help.

I saw the paramedics carry Kate away. When I was leaving the apartment with the paramedics I remembered that she would need her documents so I took my purse and hers.

"You can follow us to the hospital if you want Rick." I said looking at Rick's worried face.

"But I didn't come with my car."

"Here, take mine. It is parked just outside the building. The black Mercedes."

"Okay."

In the ambulance they started the blood transfusion and cleaned the cut, the bleeding had stopped quite some time. The time passed slowly and fast at the same time, the tears threatened to fall but I held them inside.

In the hospital I gave Kate's information and insurance number; they asked me to wait in the waiting room while they organized Kate.

"Hey Rick." I said when I entered the waiting room to find the Richard Castle on verge of crying. I would probably never get used to him being Kate's personal friend.

"Wh-What happened Lanie? I don't understand. I was with her a few hours ago and now she tried to kill herself?"

"She didn't try to kill herself." I said with a tired smile and sure of me, I had seen that scene a few times in the almost twenty years Kate and I were friends.

"Yes, she did. She was on her own pool of blood and had a blade by her side."

"I can't tell you Rick; let's leave to Kate to tell you what happened when she wakes up. The bleed came from something you couldn't see because of the robe."

"What was underneath it?"

"I can't tell you, sorry. If you want, you can go home; I will wait Kate wake up."

"No, I can wait. Shouldn't we call her father?"

"Hum… better not."

"Are you sure?" He said worried.

"Yeah, I am pretty sure." Jim here was the last thing Kate needed.

We waited for one hour, Rick never left my side, and the poor man really liked Kate and was genuine sorry; after some time our silence became uncomfortable. Rick was the first to say something.

"So, did you think they broke up?"

"Yeah, she doesn't have a ring on her finger."

"Did you think Peter did whatever is that happened to her that you don't want to tell me?"

"No, I am sure that what happened to her wasn't Peter." I said angry. I was divided between being worried about Kate and being angry. She knew that once she did it again, she couldn't stop. We had been on that road before, so why she would do something like that?

"Okay" He said almost like he didn't believe my answer.

We waited the rest of the time in our uncomfortable silence; we knew that whatever word we spoke could break the content mood which had fallen upon on us. When the doctor showed us the way to Kate's room I found myself playing nervously with my nails while at the corner of my eyes I could see Rick playing nervously with his watch.

At the room, Kate laid there pale, with her lips a shade of purple.

"Katherine should wake up soon." The doctor informed us before leaving.

I sat at the chair by the side of the bed and took Kate's hands between mine; still a bit cold but soon she would be warm again, I hoped. Rick stood at the door, looking at Kate like she was a ghost. When is the first time that you see Kate, a strong, smart, successful and independent woman on that state, in a hospital bed appearing so weak, it is shocking. You ask yourself: "how could someone so strong appear so weak?" and Rick was probably asking himself that question trying to wrap his mind around what was in front of his eyes and they way he knew Kate.

I snapped from my thoughts when I felt Kate's had squeeze mine lightly, I looked at her and saw her eyelids shake, trying to open.

"Hey girl, you scared me." I said with a sad smile when she opened her eyes and looked at me.

"Hi." Kate said with a tired voice.

"Hello." Rick said waving his hand at her and coming closer.

"Castle? What are you doing here?" Kate said surprised by Castle's presence.

"I got worried about you; you didn't answer the phone, I thought something had happened to you. And clearly I was right, something happened."

"Who found me?" Kate asked worried since when she passed out she was naked.

"I found you dear, no need to worry about the boy seeing you lady bits. But we need to talk; I can't believe you would go on that path again, you know how hard last time for you to stop was."

"Lanie, isn't the right time to talk about it, you know." Kate said indicating Rick; he got the message and started coming up with an apology to leave.

"Hum... Kate, I have to go. It is late. Alexis has school tomorrow and everything. I will come to visit you tomorrow." He said and kissed Kate's cheek and mine and leaving.

"Now that he left, we can talk. Girl, why would you do something like that?" I said looking at Kate's eyes and with an angry voice for her to understand that I didn't like her attitude.

"I had to give Peter a proper goodbye. I was a bad girlfriend and fiancée for so long, the least I could do for him was to give something that he loved so much. You don't know, but he loved my words; he would pass the fingers throw it and whisper every word with such devotion." Kate whispered to me with her eyes shining from tears.

"Girl, if he loved or didn't love, it doesn't matter. You shouldn't have done it. When you do once, you can't stop."

"This time is only this one. I won't do again."

"Kate, you used to say that all the time."

"But this time is true; this was a goodbye to Peter. I don't even have any more space on my thorax. I am stronger now and smarter than I was at that time Lanie; I will go to the therapist three times at week just to be sure that I won't do it again."

"So why do it? If you knew the consequences, the troubles it would bring. Why do it Kate? And why did you let the bleed go on for so long? What if Castle didn't get worried?"

"I already said why I did it; I was saying a proper goodbye to Peter. I will go for help so I don't repeat it; don't worry Lanie. I am not naïve anymore. And I forgot how good I felt and lost control of myself, which was why I let the bleed go on for so long. But like I said, don't worry, won't happen again. Tomorrow I will leave here, after my body produce the blood that he lost, schedule with my therapist the sessions and everything will be fine."

"Okay then, if you say so. What happened with Peter? I don't see your ring."

"Ahh Lanie, we had been fighting since I got out on the paper with Richard. The relationship has been hell; he was very possessive of me, and… I don't know. He wasn't the Peter that I fall in love. Today, he called me being an arrogant ass again and I couldn't deal with it anymore; so I ended it."

"I am glad that you ended with him; I never liked him."

"I am starting to think that I never loved him, you know, maybe I was creating this feeling trying to fool myself or something like that."

"I knew it! But let's talk tomorrow, rest. I will be here when you wake up."

"Okay, love you Lanie. Thank you for saving me again."

"Anytime darling, anytime"

I rested my back and my head at the back of the chair and closed my eyes. Soon, I drifted to the world of dreams with Kate.

* * *

I know that I tried something complete different with the death POV, I really hoped that you didn't hate it! I am a big fan of the book "The book thief" and I saw at this part an opportunity to use the idea of the book. Like I said at the chapter before, **_IF YOU FEEL THE NEED THE CUT OR HURT YOURSELF IN ANY WAY, PLEASE LOOK FOR HELP!_**

Any way, **review if you can!** I love hearing your opinion. If many of you don't like the idea of the death, I won't bring it again in the future.


	14. The therapist

**Katherine (KBPOV)**

I didn't want to things go that far, but since it did, I was happy that Castle and Lanie saved me; like I said before: I was not a suicidal, just some kind of masochist.

I had forgotten how close to the death I used to get when I cut; strangely was a nice feeling.

I woke up feeling better than the day before; Lanie was still by my side sleeping in an uncomfortable position, she was such a good friend, always saving me when I was almost on the other side.

I hoped that Patricia had already understood that I wasn't going for the day and had canceled all my appointments; but just to be sure I slowly got up and walked towards my purse that was sitting on the other side of the room.

Finally, I got there and to my happiness my phone still had battery but I had so many missed calls and messages that I didn't know if the battery would last to respond everybody. I organized my priorities; and the most important thing in the moment was my work, so I called the office.

"Katherine Becketts's office, how can I help you?" Patricia said with her professional voice. She was a good PA, I would happily keep her forever on the job.

"Hello Patricia, it's the Katherine Beckett herself."

"Oh… Hi boss. Something happened? It's 9am and you still haven't arrived at the office."

"Yes, something happened. In fact, right now I am in the hospital. I had a little accident yesterday and probably I will be here for the day."

"Okay boss, you text me the address of the hospital that you are and will get you the files so you can prepare to court tomorrow, and also I will cancel all your appointments. The good thing is that you don't have court today."

"You are right, if I had court would be a disaster. Make today's appointment a priority tomorrow and schedule some of them on Saturday, even Sunday if needed. If they ask what happened just say that I had a little accident but sadly the hospital couldn't release me today. But for them not to worry, was a simple thing and will be good as new tomorrow."

"Of course, I will see you in a few hours with the files."

"Okay, thank you. Bye."

"Bye."

When I hang up the phone, the doctor entered the room, smiling at me with that polite smile that I sometimes had given the world.

"Miss Beckett, since you are awake, we need to talk."

"Of course, just give me a moment so I can lie down again."

"Sure." When I was comfortable in the bed, he started talking. "We called your therapist because of what happened that brought you here to the hospital. Also, you will stay in observation for today and can leave tomorrow as soon you wake up. The therapist will arrive shortly for an emergency session. She said she would be here in 30 minutes."

"Of course. Thank you doctor."

"Sure."

With the end of the conversation the doctor left saying that if I had any trouble I should call a nurse. Lanie, shortly after the doctor left, woke up and without trying to wake me up, probably still thinking I was sleeping since I was just laying flat at the bed, stirred on the chair by my side without make a lot of noise noise. I didn't even notice at first that she was awake until she asked the million dollars question.

"Are you in love with Rick?" She said out of the blue, making me realize that in fact she knew I was awake and fighting the demons inside my fucking head.

"No." I said without even thinking.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I am incapable of loving somebody that I met after my mother's death Lanie. We both know it. Poor Peter tried so much to get me to love him; and look how well it ended."

"He wasn't right for you Kate, we both know it."

"He was perfect, not in the last months of course, but he was."

"That is why you cut yourself? You felt guilty that he spent so many years trying to make you love him."

"I already answered that question yesterday. I won't repeat myself."

"Okay then."

"Okay. Also, you can leave; my therapist should arrive soon."

"If you insist my lady." Lanie said sarcastically getting up and starting to organize her stuff to leave.

"It is not like that and you know it. I really appreciate what you did yesterday and all the times you saved me Lanie. Just don't ask what I can't give you."

"I won't Kate. I know you are thankful darling, don't worry."

"Okay, since that is settled. Can you pick up some clothes to me? I will go directly to work tomorrow morning."

"Are you really sure you already want to go the office?" Lanie asked worried.

"Yes Lanie, I am sure."

"Okay then, love you Kate. Don't do that to me again, do you understand me?"

"Yes, I love you too. Thank you again. And I will do my best to not scare you again."

"No need to thank me anymore. I will bring your clothes latter, do you want me to call Castle so he can stay with you?"

"No need, if I need company, I will read some fillies or something like that."

"Yeah, that sounds like you." Lanie said with a chuckle.

"Bye Lani."

"Bye girl, see you later."

"See you."

I laid there and looked and the TV black screen; I needed to call Castle. And how could Lanie ask me if I was in love with him. I didn't even know what mean to be in love. How do you feel? I read a few books about it a few years prior that day in the hospital, I read about how you felt; but I had never felt it. I didn't know why, maybe was my mother's death that made me that way. But after so many years I was tired of blaming all my faults on my mother's death. She was such a happy person, she was probably looking down from heaven or whatever is that you goes, if you goes somewhere, and thinking "what the fuck is my child doing with her life?"; I confess that I liked to think that my success as a lawyer was enough to make her proud but I knew better, she didn't care about money, maybe was because we had plenty or because that was just who she was. I would never discover that. But anyway, I needed to call Castle. I was sure he had many, many questions that sadly I didn't want to answer. Sadly or happily, I was interrupted before going too far inside my own head. Sometimes I was sure that one day I wasn't going to kill myself but I wasn't going to die by natural causes either, my head would kill me. My thoughts: the demons inside me, was the thing that someday would kill me.

"Hello Katherine, I heard you got yourself on trouble." Mackenzie, my therapist, was the interrupter of my thoughts.

"Hello Mackenzie. Good to see you again." I said sarcastic. Mackenzie had been my therapist since my mother's death, yeah a long time, she was a nice woman that I watched became old just like she watched me became a woman. Our relationship had always been based on sarcasm, but she was good. Usually we met every two weeks, but that was an emergency situation as you can imagine.

"If you missed me that much, you could she have called me Kate. No need to make this mess."

"Yeah, that is exactly what happened."

"Let's cut the crap, shall we?" She said closing the door, locking it and putting the chair that Lanie had slept on, in front of me. "What happened, Katherine?"

"Peter and I broke up. I broke the engagement off." I said looking flatly at the black screen of the TV, not wanting to meet her eyes.

"And? How you go from broking up with Peter to cutting yourself? Why did you guys break off?"

"We broke up because Peter has been an ass for a long time. I was and am tired of his shit, so I broke everything off."

"How did Peter react?"

"At first he was angry and then, when he saw that I was serious, I wasn't going to go back on my word, he was the perfect gentleman, like he usually is, if you don't count these last months." I said sarcastically.

"And that obviously bothers you?"

"Of course! I treated him like garbage for years and he was always fucking there, he was always _fucking there. _At the end, I wished he would go crazy at me, you know? Scream, be angry, call me names, I needed it. To prove to myself that I wasn't the one to blame for all the things that fucked up in our relationship."

"You thought that maybe if in the end he proved to you that he really was an asshole, you wouldn't be so guilty for treating him like garbage for years?"

"Yes."

"It kinds make sense. So, how you went to broking up with Peter to cutting yourself?"

"Hum…." I said.

"Hum… what? You have to talk about it Katherine, if you want to work tomorrow, you have to talk."

"I wanted to give him something. I never gave him nothing unless was material or something I didn't really care. People usually counts having sex with someone the ultimate thing to give somebody; when you have sex with somebody you gave yourself to them. We both know that this is not my case. And was like a thank you for being such a nice person to me, for giving me so much but never asking nothing. I am fucked up and selfish but I never wanted to Peter get hurt."

"You can think whatever you want about you Katherine, but in the end you are not a bad person. You have to stop feeling guilty about everything. Of course in your own way you loved Peter or at least liked. You wouldn't have stayed this long with him if you didn't feel anything. And don't say that you stayed because of the sex; we both know that it is not true. What did you write this time?"

"End. I wrote the word end." I said confidently, like was something I should be proud of. "Do you want to see it?"

"If you want to show it to me."

"Yes, I want. She is so beautiful; I made it on my hipbone." I said getting up and showing her the word, I took of the bandage what the doctors put when I came in, on the middle of the night."

"Yes, it is nice. But why did you choose end, besides it obviously reasons."

"I choose it to symbolize the end of an era. It was the end of the relationship that was toxic to him and to me, it was the end of something we built in the last five years."

"Why didn't you stop cutting after you completed what you wanted?"

"I couldn't. I forgot how good it felt, I was in heaven. I could hear the voice; you remember the voice that I told you about?" Mackenzie nodded. "Well, I could hear it all again. And it felt so good, I felt something. I _fucking finally _felt something."

"Katherine, of course you felt something. But it was all chemical. Whatever you felt don't fix your emotional problems."

"I know, but it feels like it fix."

"Who found you?"

"Lanie and Castle were the ones that found me."

"Castle? Your new friend?" I haven't told Mackenzie that my new friend was Richard Castle. She would want to talk about it forever, and I just couldn't do it.

"Yes."

"Interesting, how did he ended up in the equation?"

"I was having a drink with him when Peter called; he saw how angry I was with Peter. A few hours after I left the bar he called me, wanting to know how things went. I didn't pick up and I always pick up, so he didn't rest until he found out what happened."

"Wow, he was pretty determined. Did he think you were asleep? Or busy with Peter?" Mackenzie said raising an eye brown.

"He knows that I _always _answer my phone, doesn't matter the circumstance."

Before Mackenzie could say anything I loud pounding started on my door, I could hear behind it a nurse trying to calm down whoever was at the other side.

"Just wait a second, I will open it Mackenzie."

"Sure." The older woman said.

When I opened the person on the other side of the door was with his face red and angry, when he saw me, he hugged my tightly and then holding my shoulders he yelled at me.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FUCKING PHONE? WHY CAN'T YOU ANSWER ME? WHY WAS YOUR DOOR CLOSER? KATE, I KNOW YOU PROBABLY DOESN'T WANT ME TO SAY ANYTHING BUT YOU CAN'T FUCKING CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR. WHAT IF SOMETHING LIKE WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY HAPPENS AGAIN?"

"Calm down Castle. Calm the _fucking down_." I hissed at him.

* * *

Hey, thank you so much for the reviews from the last chapter. I am so happy that you guys liked the Death's POV, I was really worried about it!

Sorry for the delay in this chapter. This week was not my favorite it and I started watching The Newsroom and I couldn't focus on anything until I finished. Somebody here watches it? If not, you really should!

Anyway, _**review if you can please. See you in the next chapter :)**_


	15. The writer meets her words

**Katherine Beckett (KBPOV)**

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FUCKING PHONE? WHY CAN'T YOU ANSWER ME? WHY WAS YOUR DOOR LOCKED? KATE, I KNOW YOU PROBABLY DOESN'T WANT ME TO SAY ANYTHING BUT YOU CAN'T FUCKING LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR. WHAT IF SOMETHING LIKE WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY HAPPENS AGAIN?"

"Calm down Castle. Calm the _fucking down_." I hissed at him.

"How can I calm down? I was worried about you! You know what happened the last time you didn't answer my call, I FUCKING FOUND ON THE POOL OF YOUR OWN BLOOD!" He took a deep breath and continues "I am just worried about you. Sorry the yelling; I shouldn't yell, it is wrong." He said in his normal tone of voice.

"Okay, hum… I was in the middle of my session with my therapist, which is why the door was locked. I didn't answer my phone because nobody got me a charger so it doesn't have battery. Are you okay now?"

"Yeah, I am better now. Come here." He said getting near me and opening his arms to give me a hug. I didn't remember when I felt this good in the arms of somebody.

"I am sorry that I put you through this." I whispered to his chest. "I am really sorry." I whispered again when he squeezed me harder.

We stayed a long time hugging each other; I tried to engrave Castle's scent on my memory because he smelled extremely good. I could hear he sniffing my hair, probably trying to do the same thing I was doing. I was so lost in his embrace, in the moment, that I forgot about Mackenzie, who didn't go unnoticed for long. She cleaned her throat to make herself noticed. I untangled myself from Castle and I could feel my cheeks burning red.

"Mackenzie, this is hum… this is my friend Richard Castle." Castle soon recovered his posture and gave Mackenzie a handshake.

"Hi, I am Richard Castle; Kate's friend."

"Hi, I am Mackenzie, Kate's therapist; nice to finally meet you, Mr. Castle." Mackenzie said with a grin.

"Well Mack, maybe we could continue our session tomorrow. I _really _need to talk to Castle." I said trying to attract Mack's attention.

"Sure, but we can't miss our session tomorrow. We should probably do one in the weekend too just in case, and schedule three ones for next week."

"Okay, I ask Patricia to call you and schedule it. I will tell her to make our appointments priorities on my schedule."

"Okay Katherine. Don't forget it and if you feel the urge to do it again please call me, anytime! Don't be shy, Kate. We can't lose the work of 8 years."

"Yeah, I know Mackenzie. I am sorry about it, I really am. I just had to do it." I said giving Mack a hug. "Thank you so much for all you have done."

"No need to thank me. I will see you tomorrow, bye."

"Bye." I said closing the door behind her; Castle during all the conversation stood by the door, trying to understand what everything was about.

"Hey Castle, sit down please." I said a little shy now that was just the two of us and I was wearing a hospital gown that luckily wasn't open in the back but yet wasn't the most appropriate thing to wear.

"I was really worried Kate, what happened to you?"

"I am not sure if I want to tell you, or even if I should. I will probably change your perspective about me and I don't want that."

"What could possibly be to change my perspective about you? We have known each other for almost four months. It couldn't be worst that see you on the pool of your own blood."

"Yeah, kind it is." I said looking down at my lap and playing with my fingers.

"Hey, you can tell me anything." He said walking towards me; taking my hands and making them disappear inside his.

I took a deep breath and prepared myself. If he wanted me to tell him I would do better, I would show him. I gathered all my courage I had inside my spent body.

"Sit down at the chair Rick, I will do better than tell you, I will show it." Castle looked at me with a frown trying to understand what I had to show that would explain what happened the day before; but he sat anyway knowing that since I called him Rick, I was pretty serious.

I stood up and stayed in front of Castle, he was looking at me anxious to discover the truth. I put my hands behind my back to open my hospital gown; I took another deep breath and slowly took it off.

In the few moments that I imagined Castle seeing me naked that scenery never appeared on my thoughts.

I stood there, naked in front of him, with my arms by my side and doing my best to not put them in front of me to cover my breasts and my pussy. Castle stared at me blankly, taking all in.

"Castle, please say something." I begged him since I was starting to feel extremely nervous and self conscious of my body.

"I really don't know what to say." And continue to stare at me for a few more seconds. "Can I touch it?" He asked nervously.

"Yes." When I gave my permission, Castle stood up and came extremely close to me.

"This one is why you are here?" He asked when he passed his fingers around the new word carefully not to really touch it.

"Yes, I-I made it for Peter. As in some kind of weird present. It's strange, I know." I said the last part whispering and looking down.

"Hey Kate." He said putting my face between his big hands; I put each of my hand in his wrist, holding his hands on my face. "It's beautiful, ho-how many years you have been doing it?"

"Eighteen years. But I stopped 8 years ago. Th-this was my first one in 8 years."

"Why you started it?"

"When my mother was murdered, I got pretty lost and my dad became an alcoholic, so I was lost and alone; except for Lanie. I got pretty crazy, Castle" I said looking in his eyes. "Sex, drugs, alcohol, self harm, name something crazy and dangerous and I probably did it."

"Wow, I don't know what to say." Castle said keeping the eye contact.

"Are you disgusted? If you are, I understand." I said suddenly worried about him cutting me out of his life.

"No Kate, I am not disgusted. It is beautiful." He said sitting back at the chair and bringing me to stand in the middle of his legs, his hands traveled around my body; I couldn't remember when some guy touched me this gently in an un-sexual way. He was always careful to not touch the recent one. He passed his fingertips of one of his hands through the borders of the words, the other hand was sitting on my hip keeping me firmly at place. I didn't know for how long I stood there while he passed his fingers through my body.

"I love words, you know? I am a writer, so I am really not disgusted."He said looking at me with a silly smile. "But I am pretty worried about you Kate, as much as I think is beautiful, you can't do this to yourself. You are so beautiful, so precious." He said losing the silly smile and proceeding to kiss the words on my tummy, the ones near my breasts, and the ones near my pussy. But never trespassing the imaginary limit where he couldn't kiss my intimate parts.

**Richard Castle (RCPOV)**

When Kate stood in front of me and said she was going to do better than tell me, she was going to show me; I didn't understand. Show what? When her hands went to her back and she started taking of the hospital gown I was speechless, she was going to get naked? I wasn't ready to see Kate naked. When she tossed the gown off, I was still speechless.

All over her thorax had words written on it. In the middle of her tummy were the most powerful word and probably the longest of her "collection", _dead inside. _My heart started beating faster; I wanted to discover the meaning of all her words, discover every thought that passed through her head, I wanted to discover why would she write dead inside on herself; why someone so precious and perfect on the outside could be so broken on the inside? How could I have never seen this part of her? Of course sometimes I saw a sad smile, a sad look but I thought that was something rare, or nothing really important since is impossible to be happy all the time.

"Castle, please say something." She begged me and I realized that she was probably uncomfortable since she was naked in front of me and we were just friends.

"I really don't know what to say." I confessed to her, this was big and unexpected. The night before I just thought that she tried to kill herself with another way than slitting her writs, or maybe she cut herself trying to shave or something like that. In fact, the night before I didn't think of anything because I couldn't process the image that I saw. How could someone so strong appear that weak? "Can I touch it?" I asked nervously trying not to pass the boundaries that she created for the situation.

"Yes." She gave me her permission and I walked slowly towards her in case she changed her mind in the next few seconds.

"This one is why you are here?" I asked when I noticed that one of the words didn't appear to be healed like the others.

"Yes, I-I made it for Peter. As in some kind of weird present. It's strange, I know." She said embarrassed and looked down; my heart sank. All the time she showed to the world that she was so strong, so perfect when she was just _human._

"Hey Kate." I said putting her face between my faces, she put her hands on my writs in a way that for a few seconds I didn't know if she was trying to take my hands of her face or keep them there. "It's beautiful, ho-how many years you have been doing it?"

"Eighteen years. But I stopped 8 years ago. Th-this was my first one in 8 years." She said unsure if she should or could tell me about it.

"Why you started it?" I saw myself asking.

"When my mother was murdered, I got pretty lost and my dad became an alcoholic, so I was lost and alone; except for Lanie. I got pretty crazy, Castle" She said looking at me with that intense eyes, like she was seeing my soul and showing me hers. "Sex, drugs, alcohol, self harm, name something crazy and dangerous and I probably did it." She said with an embarrassed smile.

"Wow, I don't know what to say." I said being sincere again, that was a lot to take in.

"Are you disgusted? If you are, I understand." She said worried that my fault of things to say was because I was disgusted with her body.

"No Kate, I am not disgusted. It is beautiful." I said reassuring her that what she told me didn't change my perspective about her; to be truly to you, it changed, but for the better. I sat back at the chair and brought her to stand between my legs. I passed one of my hands through her words, trying to engrave them on my mind and the other hand sitting on her hip. My eyes were on the eye-level of her breasts but at the moment I didn't feel anything sexual towards Kate. She was beautiful, I probably in another situation would be already hard; but that moment was so intense, so sad that I couldn't bring myself to see Kate more than somebody that I… loved. Yeah, somebody that I loved. I didn't dare to touch her pussy or her breasts because at that moment I wanted her to understand that I knew how to tell the difference between lust and love and separate them.

"I love words, you know? I am a writer, so I am really not disgusted." I said looking at her with a silly smile, trying to break the tension of the room. "But I am pretty worried about you Kate, as much as I think is beautiful, you can't do this to yourself. You are so beautiful, so precious." I said losing the silly smile and putting my serious face for her to understand that although I found it pretty, I really didn't want her to feel anything that would make her thing that she had to do it to herself. "I am going to help you at every step of the way so you can stay more than 8 years without doing this, okay? You aren't going to be alone." I said getting up and giving her a hug.

"Thank you Rick; thank you so much for not leaving me alone now." She whispered to my chest.

"Always Kate." I whispered kissing the top of her head and sniffing, again, her hair.

* * *

**Please don't forget do review 33**

As always: **_IF YOU FEEL THE NEED THE CUT OR HURT YOURSELF IN ANY WAY, PLEASE LOOK FOR HELP!_**


	16. Reminiscing

**Katherine Beckett (KBPOV)**

I couldn't really tell you when it happened, but along the way I realized that some stuff meant more that it was to mean. When Castle and I hugged for the first time was nice, some skin contact with a man that didn't want to get in my pants, don't get me wrong, Peter didn't always thought or wanted sex, but I did. Any skin contact with Peter and all I could think was when we would have some time alone so we could have sex. So, in the four months of our friendship Castle and I shared some hugs, but none like that one.

When Castle left, Patricia arrived soon after, and we worked for the rest of the day, she kept my mind occupied so I couldn't think what was happening to Castle and me. I never understood how you know that the friendship changed for something more sexual, I never had that. Before my mother's death I was way too shy and self conscious about my body and my personally to get involved with someone, and when she died I didn't want to create ties with anybody that I didn't have ties before. With Peter since the beginning we knew that we were going to date and probably get married, we weren't try to be something or have something that we weren't or haven't.

It was clear for both of us that every date, every conversation, every moment spent was to lead for the final act: me walking on the church with an expensive white dress. It in the end didn't happen, but hey, it _almost _happened.

After 6 hours working almost non-stop I sent Patricia home, the poor girl worked too hard for her own good. One day she would end up like me, alone and broken, but I hoped not, it wasn't a beautiful path.

Not long after Patricia left, Lanie arrived bringing my clothes for the next day, when she called at the afternoon I instructed her to bring my highest high-hells and the most flattering suit I had. I wanted to make a big entrance the next day.

"Hey girl, who are you?" She said putting her bag and my bag at the floor.

"I am great Lanie, how are you?" I said putting a smile on my face.

"I am good." She said putting the chair by my side and sitting.

"Lanie, you know you don't have to sleep with me, I am fine. I am not going to cut myself again or something like that. Go home to your boyfriend, get some action, cook, I don't know; do whatever you want but no need to get a horrible sleep here just because your best friend is mental unstable."

"Kate, I want to sleep here, who cares if you are mental unstable? You are stable enough to be my best friend! And I know that you won't cut yourself again but we never know, right? Just let me sleep here tonight, tomorrow you will go home and sleep by yourself all you want."

"Okay, okay. Just don't complain about your bad back to me."

"Hey, I don't have a bad back!" Lanie said slapping my arm.

"Ounch, you don't have now but after two nights sleeping on a hospital you will have. We are getting old Lanie, don't be the blind one that never sees the truth. I don't have the age to sleep around anymore, and go crazy even if it is what I want to do. And you can't sleep in chairs or horrible sofas like you used too anymore either."

"Yeah, you are right. We are getting old." She said with a reminiscing voice and we stayed in silence watching or pretending to watch what was on at the TV.

Appeared to be yesterday when we would drive around on my new car trying to act older that we were; appeared to be yesterday when I lost my mom and went crazy. But was a long time ago, and I was still acting like it was fresh. Was at that moment that I had to drop the poor girl act, I had lost almost twenty years of my life trying to fix something that was broken, but yet, not that broke that needed to be fixed.

Yes, I had lost my mom but hey, things had turned up okay. I had a great job, I had a great friend and maybe I didn't have a husband or kids but I didn't need that.

When I was a teenager I always hated how people would act like woman are defined by how good they husbands are or how many kids she had. Thinking about it, I hated how people would act like woman needed a man by their side to be complete, I didn't need a man! That kind of thought was and is stupid; women don't need men, and vice-versa.

People usually thinks that they need a person by their side, what a ridiculous thought! Always looking for someone or something; always trying to be the life of the party, never wanting to be alone. The world is full of people like that, and it is sad. Some people aren't comfortable enough in their own skin that they need the approval of others to prove that they are good enough.

When I was a teenager I was always the unusual girl; I hated being the life of the party and I hated talking all the time about cute boys. I couldn't really tell you how many friends I lost because I was sick because they would always talk about boys. In fact, I remember a fight I had with my best friend of 4 years, it went something like that:

_"Ruth, stop talking about boys, I can't take anymore! If you want to kiss him, kiss him! If you want to fuck him, fuck him! Let's talk about books, movies or I don't know painting or something like that, or gossip about somebody we hate. If you continue to talk about these stupid boys I am going to leave."_

_"Argh Kate, I can't just go there and kiss him, what if he doesn't like me? And talk about books? I am not a crazy reader like you, in fact I hate reading, and it's so boring!"_

_"If he doesn't like you, talking about him won't make he like you. In fact, will just make you sound stupid. And reading isn't boring! And I am not a crazy reader!"_

_"Are you on P.M.S today? You are mean and yes, you are a crazy reader! Kate, you appeared on the news because you read 261 books on a semester, if you aren't a crazy reader I don't know what you are!"_

_"No , I am not on P.M.S and maybe I am a crazy reader but this is my problem. Look Ruth, I love you very much but if you don't change a little we can't be friends anymore."_

And this was the end, we were never friends again. We sometimes talked, like that small talk with someone you used to love but now you don't even know how you feel but yet you feel that you have to talk to them because of what one day that person meant for you.

Not long after Lanie arrived we fall asleep lost in our own thoughts. When the sun rose I was already awake staring at the clock and watching time pass by. After it rose I went to take a shower so I could put my clothes and go to work. Forgetting that I had a recent cut on my skin I took a shower with hot water and I felt a feeling that I thought that was long forgotten; the feel of my flesh burning.

Before 7 pm I was at work, when I walked in everybody looked at me like they saw a ghost, they had never seen me miss work, it was like the event of the year; so the first possibility for me missing work the day before was because I was dead. "I didn't die this time buddies, maybe next time." I whispered to myself and laughing at me own dark joke.

The work was almost as usual, even after I worked a lot of hours the day before I still had a lot of stuff to do. At 4 pm when I got some time to breath, Castle called.

"Hey Castle, how are you?"

"Hey Kate, I am great and you?"

"I am fine, back at work."

"That is good. Look, do you want to have dinner tonight at the loft?"

"hum… Okay, sure, fine." I said suddenly nervous, after our hug and his promise to be always with me I was a little bit cautious trying to understand where our relationship was walking towards.

"If you don't mind Alexis will be here, maybe my mother but with her we never know!"

"That's okay."

"Okay then, do you like what kind of pizza?"

"I like all kinds!"

"If you say so… Come at 8 pm! Bye, I am going to start preparing myself to make the pizzas."

"Make? Castle, you can order it!"

"Why would I invite you to eat at my house if I was going to order it? Not funny. Alexis and I love making pizza; you are going to love it! Don't be late!"

"I won't be late, bye." I hung up with a smile on my face, I couldn't remember the last time I ate a homemade food.

* * *

This chapter was a complete filler, sorry about that and it was also smaller, sorry about that too.

_**Please don't forget to review!**_****

Have a good weekend!


	17. The first dinner

**Alexis Castle (ACPOV)**

When dad asked me if we could invite Kate to dinner, I wasn't really sure. He refused to tell me why she was on the hospital the day before, and always answered me when I asked about it saying that wasn't something important but yet, he looked so worried about her, so it couldn't be anything.

Kate arrived shortly after 8 pm and when the doorman called asking permission to let her in, dad started acting like a 9 year old in a sugar rush and I am going to admit that I was also anxious. I wanted to meet Kate since dad talked about her.

When we heard Kate knocking we both rushed to open the door.

"Hey Kate, how are you?" Dad asked taking off her coat and kissing her cheeks.

"I am fine Castle, thank you. How are you?" She asked yet to realize that I was also in the room.

"I am fine. Come here Alexis; let me introduce you to Kate." And I walked until I was by his side. "Kate, this is Alexis my daughter that you heard so much about it."

"Hey Alexis, how are you?" Kate said looking at me and giving me a big smile. That was my opportunity to really see her; I looked into her big brown eyes and her pale face, she was indeed very beautiful like dad said.

"I am fine, thank you. How are you?"

"I am good, thank you." She said with a pleased smile.

"Well, now that everybody knows everybody, let's sit at the table." My dad said walking towards the dinner table that was ready for everybody sit to eat. "The table is ready but the pizzas aren't. More 30 minutes and will be ready. Kate, do you want a glass of red or white wine?" Dad asked her.

"I want a glass of red wine please."

"Sure. And you Alexis?"

"I want a glass of orange juice."

"Okay ladies; sit tight that I will arrive shortly with your drinks."

While dad went to refrigerator, Kate and I sat there looking at each other. I felt a little insecure of myself; I usually wasn't near grown up women. My grandma was my grandma, my mother was too crazy to be considered a grown up woman and too absent to make a big difference; and Gina was never around, even when she and dad was married, so, this was like my _real _interaction with a grown up woman, and Kate wasn't anyone. She was successful and so pretty. Not really knowing what to say I asked her the one thing that I was most curious about.

"Why were you at the hospital?" When I asked it, I regretted. If dad didn't tell me oblivious was something too personal. She looked suddenly shy, and went with her hand to play with something on her other hand, probably her engagement ring. But when she went for it, she, and I, realized that it wasn't there anymore so she changed her mind and started playing with her watch.

"Hm… I can't really tell you about it, yet." She said unsure if her answer was the right one, I smiled trying to make up for my mistake but trying to understand why she said that she couldn't tell me _yet. _"Maybe when we get to know each other more? It was something really personal and I am not ready to share it with you." She said smiling at me. I smiled back; she said that she wanted to get to know me more. Anyone of dad's lady friends never wanted to get know me more, just for the only reason to get to know me; they usually would try to use me to get to my father or something like that.

"Okay, I am sorry for asking and thank you for your honest answer."

"There is nothing that you have to apologize, and I may be a lawyer but I just lie about something when I am making money." She said and winked at me.

At that moment dad arrived at the table bringing our glasses and sat.

"So Kate, how was today at work?"

"Well." Kate started and took a sip of her wine. "I was good and really funny, everybody looked at me like they saw a ghost. I have never ever missed a day of work at the office so they probably thought that I ended up dead somewhere."

"You have never ever missed a work day? How long have you been working at this office?" I asked very curious.

"Yes, I have never ever missed a day of work and I have been working there for 7 years, probably."

"Wow that is incredible; you must really love your work."

"Yes, I love it very much. It's good when you find something that you are passionate about. What do you want to do Alexis?"

"Hum… I am not sure yet. Maybe be a lawyer or a doctor."

"Well, when you have some idea you tell me. You can maybe come to spend a day with me at the office or a day with my best friend Lanie, she is a M.O., and I don't know if you would be interested to work with her for a day but if you are I am sure I can probably make it happen. If we had met before you could have even talked to my ex-fiancé, he is a psychiatrist but now I am not really sure if he would do me a favor." She said smiling sadly at me.

"I would be really interest at going to the office with you one day and spending a day with your best friend, if she doesn't mind of course."

"I am sure she wouldn't." Kate said smiling widely at me.

"So, hum… if this is going to be another question that is too personal you tell me, but why did you and your fiancé break up?" I said feeling a little bit brave since she had been nothing but sweet with me since she arrived.

"Well, I had a lot of reasons to break it and I don't mind telling you. The most important one was that he was trying to make me stop being friends with your father since the article that I am sure that you must remember something about it."

"I remember." I said quickly, I remembered it really well. When I saw it I got really pissed at Kate for being that person, I was sure that she would be different, but she had disappointed me at the end, I was happy when my father sat me down and explained that none of that was true and the photos were out of the context and were shot from angles that appeared worst than really were.

"Right, after that he got really jealous about everything and insecure about our relationship. I couldn't marry a guy that didn't trust me or was insecure about our relationship. Second, I am not sure if I was ready to marry him or anyone for that matter. We had been together for almost 5 years and I couldn't bring myself to move in with him and I would get almost sick of the thought of moving in with him even after we were married, so something clearly was wrong. And in the end, I didn't love him anymore."

"You didn't love him anymore? So why were you still together with him?"

"I am not sure, because was easier? Because of the hum…. You are 16, right?"

"Right." I said anxious to know what she was going to say that before she had to ask my age.

"Maybe I was still with him because of the sex." She said with a serious face, my father looked at her spooked about her too honest answer and I was glad that once again she was really honest with me. "Hey Castle, don't get mad at me, she asked it!" She said smiling at my father.

"Kate, she is my baby girl."

"Well, that doesn't mean she won't have to reproduce, right?"

"Hum… right. But I don't want her thinking about it now! And I don't want to think about it now either!"

"Dad calm down. I am not thinking of do-doing it and I am big enough to know what sex is."

"But you are my baby girl." Dad whined.

"I am but like Kate said, that doesn't mean that I won't have to reproduce right?" I asked smirking at him

"Alexis, let's change the subject before your father has a heart attack, I have been inside of the hospital enough for a year." Kate said laughing.

"Sure, let's drop it." And with that the oven ringed warning us that the pizzas were ready.

"Thank God that the pizzas are ready, I am hungry!" Dad said totally recovered from the conversation.

When everybody was served, we ate in silence. After we finished, dad served the dessert and we ate laughing and teasing each other. I had just met Kate but I was already feeling like she was my best friend. During all the night I tried to find something about her that could tell me why she was at the hospital, but nothing ringed a bell. She didn't cough, didn't winced in pain or something like that. The only thing she appeared was to be too pale but that didn't give away the reason behind her going to the hospital.

Right after 10 pm Kate left with the promised we would all meet again soon and remembering me to call her about getting to know her job and the job of her best friend. When she left; dad and I cleaned up everything in a content silence, like we had to recover from a wild and pleasant event.

"Did you like Kate?" Dad asked after some time without saying anything.

"Yes, she is so nice dad, and just as beautiful as you told me."

"Yeah, I know. I am happy that you liked her; she is having and had a tough road but we are going to be there for her."

"Why won't you tell me the reason that she went for the hospital?"

"Because like she said; it is something really personal and…"

"Dad, were you listening to our conversation?" I asked punching his shoulders and interrupting.

"Well, of course pumpkin. The dinner table is near the kitchen and you two weren't whispering." He said bringing me into his arms and hugging me.

"And…? You didn't finish your sentence."

"And I am not ready to tell you." He said smiling sadly at me. I felt bad for pushing the subject so I decided to drop it until Kate could tell me.

After that we watched a movie and we both went to sleep feeling happy and satisfied.

* * *

I hoped you guys liked this chapter. **_Please, take a minute or two to review, it is always appreciated!_**


	18. The happiness

**Katherine Beckett (KBPOV)**

I woke up with the sound of my bell ringing without a chance to rest, I waited in bed for more 10 minutes looking at my ceiling and wishing that however was at my door would give up. After the 10 minutes was clear to me that the person was really set in his, or her, idea of seeing me.

I got out of the bed and searched for my silk robes, none of my favorites was near so I just grabbed one of the silk robes Peter had gave me a few years back, maybe I should throw away everything that he had ever gave me, right? Or maybe not, he gave me a few things that I liked very much. I stood a few minutes in the middle of my room trying to think if I should or should not throw his gifts away; the ringing bell made me decide by not throwing anything away, I would keep all the things as a souvenirs. I walked to the door almost afraid of who I was going to see on the other side, the last time someone was so eager to see me was the day Peter showed me the newspaper with Castle and I as an article; not a memory I liked that much.

I opened the door not sure who I would be waiting for, when I looked who it was; I was not sure if I should be happy or sad or even something. We stood there looking at each other maybe trying to think what we should say; since I was not the one that drove to see the other I just looked at her with expectancy but didn't make a movement to invite her inside or to be the first one to break the silence. I just stood there in the silk robe that her brother a few years back gave me, with my feet bare and with my hair a messy. Probably not the look I wanted to present the first time I saw my ex-sister-in-law.

"Eh… I had all this speech prepared to you and that was why I was ringing you bell like crazy. Sorry about that by the way. I was really mad at you but now that I saw you I don't have anything to say and I realized that I am not mad." She said to me, playing with her necklace and with her cheeks burning.

"Well, do you want me to just close the door Sarah? So, we can pretend that you never came here. Or do you want to come inside and have a cup of coffee?" I said trying not to sound too cold, I liked Sarah.

"Maybe I could have a cup of coffee? Do you mind? Is this too weird?" She asked looking at me worried.

"I don't know Sarah, if you don't feel like you are cheating your brother, come inside." I said walking towards the kitchen and leaving the front door open. When I looked behind me I could see her slowly entering my apartment looking around, taking her surrounding in, making sure that she and I were alright with what was happening.

"I forget to ask; maybe you have c-company? Do you want me to leave?" She said worried when she saw a male t-shirt on the floor next to my sofa.

"No, I don't have anybody here. The t-shirt is mine that I stole from some boy a lot of years ago."

"Oh, alright then, but if you had I wouldn't have a problem since you and Peter are broke up and everything."

"Sarah, I didn't have the time or the need to go out to find someone. Sit down, I will bring coffee shortly; I don't have nothing to eat so if you want to eat we can go somewhere later."

"Coffee is fine for now."

"Okay."

Sarah sat at the little table that I had in the kitchen, and looked at me. We both stood there with just the noisy of the coffee maker afraid that if we said something could break the peace that we had going on. When the coffee was ready and we were both with a cup of coffee we sat and the dining table; the silence prolonged for a few more minutes, but I couldn't take it anymore.

"Sarah, just say whatever you want to say to me. Get it out of your chest already."

"I just really have questions; I am not here to scream at you or anything. I mean, I came here to scream and you, I even had this speech prepared on my mind. But this stuff wasn't your entire fault, and even if it was I can't make you love my brother or anything. But I wouldn't be surprised if Margaret showed up to scream at you, she is pissed that you broke off everything."

"And are you pissed?"

"I am little pissed that you broke my brother's heart but maybe was for the best." She said with a sad and took another sip of her coffee.

"You can start the questions you want to make Sarah; I won't kill you or throw you out or something like that."

"Thank god." She breathed. "Hum… why did you break it off?"

"I didn't love your brother anymore."

"Okay, that is a valid reason. Are you in love with your friend that you brought when we went out? That is why you are not in love with Peter anymore? Are you in love with someone else?" She said with her voice almost a whisper and her eyes shining with tears; I realized that she was afraid of the answer.

"Of course I am not Sarah."

"Okay, I was worried. You know, when the article came out I defended you for all the family, I said I was there with you guys and wasn't like that, like the article made appear to be."

"I appreciate a lot; it's a shame that in the end it didn't matter. Your brother got very jealous with it, it was impossible for us to stay together. I didn't love him but in end I would marry him, I am the kind of person that I accommodate, if something is good, I stay just because is easier, it's not a pretty thing, but is the truth. When the article came out your brother went crazy, I couldn't tolerate him anymore, so that was also one of the reason I broke everything off."

"I am sorry Kate, about everything. For what we put you through, for how Peter treated you and didn't trust you even after you and I established that nothing really happened, also we were mean to you since you entered the family, to be sincere I thought you lasted a long time, I never thought you guys would really marry, but I wished you would. I really like you."

"I really like you too Sarah." I said squeezing her hand that rested near my hand on the table. I almost felt guilty, the end could be almost be Peter's fault but I wasn't the victim in everything either.

"Can we still be friends? But only if it isn't weird for you." She said squeezing my hand back.

"It would make me very happy if we could be friends." I said smiling sweetly at her.

"I am glad. I don't want to impose my presence anymore; I have a few things to do and I am sure you have too."

"Yeah, I have a few things; but we can meet for lunch next week if you want."

"I would love too!"

"Well, I would love it too. Give me a call later next week and we can arrange it."

"Okay, thank you so much Kate for being so nice to me." She said while we both got up to say the goodbyes.

"Sarah, you don't need to thank me. I was to the one who broke off everything; I am the one who should be glad that you are being nice to me."

"I am not angry, is better to end things before the weeding. We both know that it would end up pretty bad, it is better now that is easier than go further in the road."

"Yeah, you are right. Thank you so much for coming Sarah. Bye!" I said opening the door and kissing her cheeks.

"Bye!"

I walked to the big balcony that I had on my apartment, it being one of the reasons I bought the apartment. I loved to be outside, see the streets, the people walking around. I always loved to trying to figure out what was their story behind their faces. Who was broke inside? Who was happy? Who was content with the life he or she had? The world, the people always fascinated me; maybe was because I was such an outsider. I didn't fit correctly anywhere, I almost fit but in the end I realized that it was an illusion, I was just trying to make myself feel better thinking that I fitted; in the end of the day we are all alone, aren't we?

That was why one of my dreams was that we could communicate with the dead, just to be sure that there, in the other side, was worst than here so we couldn't tempt our self with the thought of suicide.

I stayed at the balcony looking at the people under me, from my balcony it all appear to be so tinny, so fragile. I looked around, to those skyscraper, to the rush of the people, to the birds that sometime flew by me and that moment I felt something that I read about it once but had never really felt:

_"I felt lonely and content at the same time. I believe that is a rare kind of happiness."_

When I remembered that quote from Bag of bones, a book that I read so many moons ago, I smiled. I was finally happy, after such a long journey searching for it, I found without really trying too. I passed my fingers through my new word and I whispered to the world in front of me:

"It is the _end _of the search for happiness dear world, I finally found it." I looked below me, tempted to jump, like I always felt when I was in high places, turned my back at the world and went to take a shower.

* * *

Spoiler: next chapter we will have a little time jump where we will have the first kiss. See you in 3 days!

**_Please, take some time and review please. It makes me happy and sometimes make me update sooner. Thank you._**


	19. The question

**Katherine Becket (KBPOV)**

**2 MONTHS LATER…**

I have been meeting my therapist two times a week for two months, and I haven't cut myself again, I was proud of my strength. The new word was completely healed and joined, for real, her sisters on my skin. I did a great job with that one. I will confess to you that yes, sometimes I found myself almost cutting a new word again, but in the last minute I didn't do it, I didn't have any words to really write, I was just searching for that rush again, that special moment when you feel that you are immortal and nothing could touch you again, that feeling that maybe, just maybe, everything would be fine in the end.

Castle became one of my best friends since Lanie became busy with her boyfriend; I was happy for her, it was good that one of us could really give our self to another person.

Since the dinner at his house when I met Alexis, I have been there a few more times and met Alexis a few more times, she was a sweet girl. I met Sarah a couple of times but it always was strange, there was always that fear of saying something wrong and I was always worried that at some point she was going to start blaming me for something that happened to Peter or decided that I was the bad guy in the relationship. Speaking of Peter, I never heard about him again, for someone that confessed his immortal love for me, he gave up quickly. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't going to go back to him but would be nice to see he crawl trying to get me back.

That day I woke up more tired than usual, without a reason. Maybe it was because my routine was always the same, nothing changed and probably nothing would or maybe was because Mackenzie ordered me to stop taking my sleeping pills for a few months while I took a new kind of medication for my eternal depression; and without my pills I couldn't sleep well; doesn't exist a better sleep than the one when you take a sleep pill, it is so deep and good, and nothing on earth can wake you up.

That rare kind of happiness that I felt 2 months ago on my balcony, didn't last. Sometimes the loneliness would be too big for me and it would eat me. The loneliness didn't have place or time, she would just come and embrace me, taking me in her big arms and making me feel that strange feeling of being alone in a world so big and so full of people.

The content feeling that came with the rare kind of happiness that I felt that day, also didn't last and she didn't come back a lot a times. Opposite to her friend loneliness, she did have a day and a time when she would appear; sometimes when I was shopping or often when I was with Castle, but she would go away the moment that I stopped buying things and the moment I said goodbye to Castle. She was a stupid bitch that denied herself to me.

Maybe the happiness was something overestimated by the society and I could indeed live an amazing life without feeling happy every day or even every month.

Some Saturdays during those 2 months when the loneliness would get too big for me to stay and my apartment alone or when Castle or Lanie didn't invite me for something, I would go to a bar or a nightclub, looking for company and mostly looking for sex. In the past, I discovered that sex could make you forget that you lived an ordinary life for a few hours, so every time that I needed to get out of my reality for a few hours I would have sex with anyone who wanted me. But those few times that I searched for company I couldn't bring myself to sleep with anybody, nobody looked appealing enough and sometimes, when I was very drunk and almost passing out alone on my bed I would wish that I was an ordinary girl, so I wouldn't have so much fucked up stuff going on in my mind.

* * *

**Richard Castle (RCPOV)**

I couldn't pretend anymore, I was indeed in love with Katherine. After 5 months of meeting and talking on the phone until late, Kate had convinced me without trying that she was almost a perfect human being and perfect for me.

I am not going to lie; when I discovered what she used to do and sometimes did with herself I freaked out but kept it cool at the hospital. At the first moment at hospital when she put herself so vulnerable to me and stood there naked, I didn't have time to really process the image and the situation; later I spent a lot of night awake on my bed trying to understand what happened, why she did that to herself, how I really felt about it and without wanting to, I asked myself how did Peter felt about it and what would he do if he knew what Kate did to honor his memory and the time he spent on her life.

At first alone on my bed I was shocked, I would never guess that someone so powerful and so apparently perfect would go through so much pain that would do that to herself. That was a reminder for me that I should never judge people for what they appear to be. After a few nights awake I found myself wanting to discover the meaning of every word and the reason but, at the same time, I didn't want to be part of her life when she cut herself again. When I imagined myself founding her again on the pool of her own blood and knowing why she was there, my heart ached. Just thinking about brought tears to my eye, when you love someone so much, you can't watch the person destroy herself that way; it hurts so much on you. So I promised myself that night: I would do everything that I could to stop Kate from doing it again, so I would never go through it again. I didn't know how Lanie could do it, the way she acted, was the way someone who have been through that a few times already acted.

After I had my feelings towards her scars really figured out, I tried to think when was the right time to ask her out on a real date, not the dates that we usually had, but a real date where we would dress up and the end I would kiss her. I didn't want to ask her while she was in a vulnerable position and I wanted to give her time to get over Peter, even after what she told Alexis the first time she came here, I wanted her to really be sure that she didn't love Peter and that she was ready for a new relationship, that in the case I hoped was with me.

Thinking about the first time she met Alexis, it made me happy and probably was the moment where I was sure that I loved her. I couldn't remember the last time that one of my girlfriends of the week or even Gina or Meredith were so nice and honest with Alexis. Sometimes I think that Alexis missed a mother figure in her life, a person where she could ask advices and question that I couldn't answer and probably didn't want to.

Sometimes when I would allow myself to dream about Kate and me together, it would always end up with Kate really being the mother Alexis didn't have.

After two months of waiting and trying to be the best friend I could to Kate, I felt that she was ready to start going out on a dates; so I decided to ask her. At first I was anxious and afraid, what if she didn't want to go on a date with me? How could we still be friends? I crossed my fingers that everything would be alright.

At 11:36am on October 9th, I called Kate.

"Hey Castle." She answered me with a tired voice.

"Hi Kate, are you busy?" I asked trying not to sound too anxious.

"No, I am not. Is something serious happened? Something happened to Alexis? You are sounding a little anxious." She said with an urgent voice confirming that indeed I haven't inherited my mother's genes.

"I have something serious to ask but Alexis is fine, nothing bad happened and I think my question is not bad either."

"Okay… you can ask it."

"Okay… Hum…. "I tried to ask.

"You can ask anything Castle, I promise."

"Okay." I took a deep breath. "Maybe you would like to go out with me?" I said fast, maybe too fast.

"What? I didn't understand, say a little slower please." Yes, indeed I said it too fast.

"Do you want to go out with me?"

"Go out like on a real date?" She asked carefully.

"Yes, on a real date."

"Hum… Sure, I would love too."

"Really? Do you want to go on a real date with me?"

"Yes Castle, I want to go on a real date with you." She said laughing. "Why are you finding it so hard to believe? You asked the question."

"I thought you would say no. I hoped you would say yes but I thought you would say no."

"Why on earth I would say no?"

"I don't know…"

"Well, I said yes, so when do you want to go?"

"I don't know; whenever you can, maybe this Friday?"

"Okay, choose a place and a time and I will be there Castle."

"Okay, I call you later with the details."

"Sure Castle, I can't wait. Bye. Say hi to Alexis."

"I will. Bye." When I hang up, I couldn't believe that she said yes and I couldn't believe how stupid I sounded, but I didn't have time to think about it, at first I had to find the perfect place for us to go because I had only 3 days to organize the perfect date.

* * *

I know I promised the kiss, but it didn't work out this chapter, next one I promise! See you guys on Friday or Saturday!

**_Please, be kind and leave a review. It makes me motivated and happy :)_**

PS: Hello Guest reviewer, I indeed use a software to correct some stuff, I will try to pay more attention, I promise. Thank you so much for your review, I hope you continue to enjoy the story :)


	20. The real date

**Katherine Beckett (KBPOV)**

After Castle asked me on a date, took me about 30 minutes to really understand what have happened. I didn't need to think to know that my answer would be yes, but after I hang up I had to think about the consequences. If we started a relationship would I be able to make it last, like really last, I didn't want another relationship like I had with Peter. Maybe Castle was my chance to find real love, whatever that meant. And if we went on a date and the spark wasn't there anymore? What would we do? Go back to being friends? Maybe it would be too weird. I didn't know how things would play out; I kind hoped that everything would be alright, but what did I really consider alright? I considered alright us as friends, lovers or sex buddies? I didn't know.

Even with my problems thinking where everything would lead, I was anxious for the date. Castle appeared to be too because one hour after he asked me, he had already called me back informing where we would go. It was a nice restaurant called Veritas I have heard about it. It had more than one thousand options of wine; Castle has chosen well. He also informed me that he would pick me up at 9 pm.

Friday couldn't arrive soon enough, at Thursday I left the office in the middle of the afternoon to search a new dress; I wanted to look sexy but not the kind of sexy that screamed that I wanted to get laid, that wasn't the mission of the night. Not that I didn't want to sleep with Castle, who wouldn't want? I went at Barneys and bought a good and old fashioned dress on the Chanel style, a black and white dress that showed my curves without being vulgar. I took the opportunity to also buy a new lingerie, I didn't want to use the same lingerie that I used with Peter, with Castle; and not to say that I stopped being a shoe addicted girl, I bought a new pair of high heels that were screaming my name when I passed through them.

On Friday I started getting dressed at 6pm, way to early but I wanted to be sure that I wasn't late, if there was something that always made me mad was when people were late, so I always made sure that I wasn't. When I was ready and looked myself at the mirror, I felt positive that everything would be alright, the dress was perfect with the high hells and the new lingerie made me confident of myself. Nothing in the world usually make you feel better about yourself than new clothes that look _really_ good on you.

At 9 pm on the dot, Castle knocked on my door, before opening I looked at the hall mirror and passed my fingers through my fingers, just to be sure that I was indeed as beautiful as I thought previously.

"Hey Castle." I said smiling and trying to taking in how handsome Castle's looked. The navy suit he was wearing fitted him perfectly and the color was perfect, matched his eyes.

"Hey Kate, I brought you flowers." He said showing me a bouquet that was behind his back with white roses.

"Wow, thank you Castle. You didn't need to." I said taking the flowers and going to the kitchen to find a vase to put it on.

"Well, I need to. We are going on a date and I wanted to, I don't know; make sure that you know it that we are going on a real date." He said looking nervous at me, almost like he was afraid that I would back out.

"Castle, I know this is a date. That our relationship after today could and probably will change."

"Yeah, it will." He said walking towards me and standing in front of me. "I want you to know Kate, that I like you and I hope that soon you will became my girlfriend, but if you are not ready or don't feel the chemistry or whatever reason you may have in the future to not want to be my girlfriend, I want you to know that I won't cut you out of my life or hold it against you or anything like that, okay?"

"Hey Castle, I know that you won't." I said putting his face between my hands and looking into his ocean blue eyes. "I want to go on this date with you and discover if we could be something more, but if we can't be, I don't want to lose my best friend, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." He said looking intensely at me.

"Good." I said looking into his eyes and taking a step so I was face to face with him; his lips were so close to me, that I could almost taste it. I inclined myself towards his lips that were so delicious and closed my eyes ready to finally get a taste of his lips, which I wanted to kiss for so long. I touched lightly his lips with mine and whispered. "I will only really kiss you when you bring to my door after our date safe, satisfied, and if you play your cards right, I will even let you feel me up. But I won't put out on the first date, it's not like a ladies behave. Understood Castle?"

"Hum?"

"You understand that I will only kiss you after the date and if you play your cards right I will even let you feel me up" I whispered at his lips again.

"Yes, I understand."

"Great, let's go! I can't wait to taste all the wines they can offer! I hope you aren't going to drive, because I want to taste at least five tips of wine!" I said walking away like nothing ever happened and picking up my bag and opening my door. "Let's go Castle; I don't want to be late."

"Yes, of course. Let's go." He said regaining his posture.

When we arrived at the restaurant I was glad that I didn't saw any paparazzi, although normally I wouldn't care, I didn't want our first date on page 6 the next day.

When we sat and chose our first glass of wine, we stared at each other almost afraid to say something and ruin everything. We sat there with our hands on the table looking into each other eyes. After a few minutes like this, Castle said something.

"How was your week?"

"It was great, work is great like usually is. How was your week?"

"Good, I am still working on this new book, I am almost finished with it and I am excited about it."

"I am glad Castle, when will you tell me about the story?"

"Well, maybe you can come to my house next week, have dinner and I will show you it. I bet Alexis would love to see you again, she really likes you." He said with a pleased smile on his face.

"I really like her too. And Castle, we didn't even finish our first real date and you are already inviting me out again? You are really sure about yourself, aren't you Mister Castle?'" I said smiling and taking a sip of my wine.

"I will let you know Miss Becket, that I am indeed really sure about myself. Why? Don't you think that the date is going well?"

"I think it's perfect. This restaurant you picked up is perfect, I loved it." I said looking around at the restaurant where the decoration was made on soft colors and had beautiful and big chandeliers; I have always liked chandeliers, when they are beautiful, they make everything look so classy.

"I am glad you like." He said squeezing my hand. "When I heard about it a few weeks ago and about their collection of red wine I thought about you immediately and I glad that I could bring you here."

"I am glad too." I said squeezing his hand back.

After that first awkward moment we couldn't stop talking, we talked for three hours almost without stopping, after a few more glasses of wine my head was feeling a little light, since at that point on my life, it was impossible for me to get drunk.

When we have eaten the desserts and drank a little more wine, we decided to call it the night and agreed to talk in the morning so we could maybe schedule something on the next day.

When he was going to leave me on my door, I was ready to invite him in to spend the night with me, I was ready, he knew about the scars so he wouldn't get scared or anything and the wine made me feel good about myself, or maybe was Castle's presence that made me feel so good about myself but at the time I didn't want to think about it. And I also ignored his earlier statement saying that he wanted to be my boyfriend.

"Well, good night Kate. I hope you liked our first date." He said kissing me at the cheek and going.

"But Castle, you don't want your kiss? The date was amazing, I am safe and satisfied. You deserve a kiss." I said.

"Kate, I really want to kiss you since the first day we met, but when I kiss you, I want you to be the more sober possible, because I want you to really remember. Understood?"

"I understood." I said with a serious face.

"Good. Call me tomorrow so we can go out for lunch or something like that, if you want to."

"I will probably want to, goodbye Castle."

"Goodnight Kate."

When he left I entered at my apartment and went straight to bed, took off all of my clothes and entered under my blanket; want to know my last thought? Well, even if you didn't want to I would tell you: _Castle said he liked, I should start running soon, I can't make him develop stronger feelings, because in the end he will probably get hurt. _And a little voice inside my head answered to this statement: _I don't want to run, because maybe, just maybe, I really like him too, and maybe, just maybe, I could fall in love with him._

In the morning, I woke up with a light headache. As I usually did, I stayed on my bed for a feel more minutes, looking up to my ceiling, looking for something that I knew wasn't there and not really sure of what I was looking.

When I remembered the night before, a little smile played on my face and I started feeling something new, maybe I was starting to feel plain happy, something that I had heard but haven't felt in decades. But quickly the smile disappeared and I quote from Douglas Coupland came to my mind:

"Happy. And then I got afraid that it would vanish as quickly as it came. That it was accidental – that I didn't deserve it. It's like this very, very, very nice car crash that never ends."

But like everybody do, I hid the thought somewhere on my head and forgot about it, I got up, took a shower, and tried prepared myself for a new day, maybe I would call Castle and schedule to meet him again that day. When Castle came back to my mind, the smile came back to my lips.

* * *

I started watching Scandal, if you guys don't watch, please do. It will ruin your life but will be totally worth it!

**_See you guys next week, don't forget to review please :) _**

Good week.


	21. The kiss

**Richard Castle (RCPOV)**

Leaving Kate at her door without kissing her was one of the most difficult things I have ever done; I wanted to kiss her so much but I couldn't do it. I don't think myself as a gentleman but with Kate I was doing my best to be one, she deserved.

Since she was tipsy, as was me, I didn't want to do something that we couldn't remember everything the next day and also, maybe things would get heated and neither of us would have the power to stop it before was too late.

When I arrived home, Alexis was already at her bed and mother was somewhere, I never really knew when she was home except when she made herself known. After I changed and put my boxer and a random old t-shirt, I went to bed.

I lied there re-passing through my mind over and over again the date trying to be sure that I did everything right, I wanted everything to be perfect. Maybe wasn't one of my best moments to say to Kate that I wanted her to be my girlfriend, maybe it was too fast but I couldn't live with not knowing where we were going, not that I didn't want to waste my time or something like that. If I had to fight for her, I would; but I wasn't stupid and wasn't going to waste my energy with something that wouldn't go anywhere and Kate was the kind of the person that liked to know where she was walking on.

I went to bed with Kate's smile on my head and I woke up the others day with a smile on my lips, and a headache.

The first thing that I did was check my phone to be sure that Kate hadn't called or sent me a text while I was asleep. She hadn't. After that I checked the clock, 9am. I could sleep a little longer if I wanted but I could hear some noises on the kitchen meaning that Alexis was probably already awake, trying to make this an opportunity for a father and daughter bonding I put my robe on and went to the kitchen. Arriving there Alexis was already eating some toast with a glass of milk.

"Hey pumpkin, how are you?" I said kissing her forehead.

"I am good dad, you?"

"I am great." I said sitting on the stool next to hers.

"So, how was your date with Kate?" She said picking up her toast without taking her eyes off me.

"It was really great."

"Did you kiss her at the end of the night?"

"Alexis, is this a question to ask your father?" I said pretending to be outraged

"Well, no. But you are not like all the fathers, are you?" She said giving me her cute smile and puppy eyes.

"No, I like to think that I am not like all the others fathers."

"So, now that we came to the conclusion that my question was valid, you can answer it."

"Alexis sometimes I think you are too smart for your own good, or mine." I said getting up and opening the fridge.

"Dad, come here and answer my question!"

"Okay." I said sitting at the stool by her side with a glass of juice. "Kate and I didn't kiss."

"What? Dad, why? What happened? Did you do something wrong? Dad, I thought we had made a list of all the stuff you had to do. Like buy flowers, don't be late for the date, be a gentleman and wear a nice suit."

"Alexis, I did everything on our list. We didn't kiss because we drank a little too much and I wanted both of us sober for our first kiss. So, after it she wouldn't think that I took advantage of her or something like that."

"Dad, I am sure Kate wouldn't think you were taking advantage of her, she knows you! You guys have been friends for quite some time now."

"I know, but I want every step of our relationship to be perfect."

"Nothing is perfect dad, remember that." She said picking up her plate and putting it on the sink. "If you keep searching for perfect, something will go wrong."

"Thanks for the support Alexis." I mumbled into the glass.

"Of course I support you; in fact, I think you did the right thing not kissing Kate last night, because she will know that whatever is that you are trying to have with her is real and not a onetime thing."

"Alexis, yesterday I told her that I wanted to be her boyfriend; that I wasn't to playing with her or anything like that."

"Wow, you really like her, don't you dad?"

"Of course I do pumpkin; I wouldn't have asked her out if I didn't."

"I am glad that, I really like Kate and she is different from the others, I really like her dad."

"Well, I really like Kate too." I said smiling. "I am going to pick my cell phone, maybe Kate will call me, wait here." I said to Alexis and went to my room to check on my phone. Kate hadn't called yet, I was starting to feel a little uneasy. I didn't want to appear anxious and call her; she said she probably would call so I just had to wait.

I came back to the kitchen and started talking with Alexis, we were engaged on our conversation when the doorbell ringed.

"Are you waiting for someone Alexis?"

"Hum… no, I am not."

"Maybe is mother and she forgot her keys again then."

"It's not her dad; I saw her coming home last night before you."

"Okay, who is then?"

"I don't know, stop talking and go answer the door."

"Is this the way to talk with your old man, daughter of mine?"

"Just answer the door!" She said laughing.

"Okay, okay, no need to be mean to me."

When I opened the door, Kate was at the other side, to say that I was surprised was a euphemism.

"Hey." She said smiling, waving her hands and sounding a little insecure.

"Hi Kate, what are doing here?" When I said that, her smile got a little smaller, and smaller, until it totally disappeared and I realized that I didn't sound very welcoming. "Not that I don't want you here, but I have been waiting for you to call me, you said you would call, but you didn't and now you are here and I am little confused. But please, come in."

"Are you sober?"

"What? Of course I am sober, I wouldn't start to drink at this hour of the day, but I can't say the same thing for my mothe…" I was interrupted by Kate's mouth since she had started to kiss me; at first I didn't correspond I was too busy trying to understand what was happening, after a few seconds I finally organized my thoughts and started kissing Kate back; after a few minutes Alexis voice brought Kate and me back to the real world.

"Who was at the door? Oh, it's you Kate, hi!" She said coming to the door.

"Hi Alexis, how are you?" Kate said passing her hands through her hair, trying to make it look like she wasn't making out with, well, me. While I was still with my hands on my lips trying to understand what had happened.

"I am great. Do you want to drink something?" She said totally opening the door for Kate. "Hey, earth to dad!" Alexis said shaking her hands in front of my eyes. "Sorry about that, I don't know what happened with dad." She said turning to Kate and walking away.

"I don't know either!" Kate said smiling at me like we were sharing an inside joke.

"Sorry ladies, I am back. Kate, please sit, make yourself comfortable like you were at your own home." I said closing the door. "I am glad you are here." I walked behind her and whispered into her ear and kissed her neck.

"I am glad too Castle, I am really glad that I came." She said turning around and giving me a peck on the lips and turning around again to talk to Alexis.

* * *

Hey guys, I am sorry but the chapters probably will start to get shorter. Sadly I am finding hard to write a long one. But it won't have less than a thousand words :)

I hope you liked that one, **_please don't forget to review, thank_**** you.**

Ps: An guest review saying that she/he found sick the way people thought that was beautiful Kate scars, I am sure some of you is thinking that too, so I am going to say something about it.

The scars are beautiful in the way that show her emotional struggle and how she survive it everyday without killing herself, they are battle scars, isn't just because you can't see the person hurt doesn't mean she isn't hurt. And also, I said that before you read it you have to be sure that the subject doesn't bother you, so, I warned.

Thank you, see you on the weekend.


	22. The lunch date

**Katherine Beckett (KBPOV)**

The time ran from my hands when I was at the Castle's house; Alexis was such a sweet girl who I liked to imagine that I was like when I was her age, the sweet sixteen. I loved hearing her talk, and for a few seconds when we were talking I wished that some day she would consider me some kind of friend.

I didn't know what got to me that I decide to come all the way to Castle just so I could kiss him, maybe I was going mad or maybe I was trying to be someone that I wasn't, that spontaneous' girl that everybody love. But, let me tell you, I FELT DAMN GOOD DOING IT. Don't think that I am going to describe how soft his lips felt, or how when we kissed I felt a spark or something, I am not that kind of person. The kiss was good, one of the best I had and about the spark, we all knew that it existed since the first moment, and the kiss just confirmed it.

After we talked for a couple of hours I was ready to go home, I interrupted their day and although they were nothing but nice I was feeling like an invader in their home.

"I better go, I imposed myself to you guys and maybe you already had plans or something so, thank you so much for inviting me in." I said getting up.

"Kate, stay please. We didn't have any plans; maybe we can all go to lunch somewhere together or something like that." Castle said.

"Dad is right Kate, you are such a nice person, I like you, please eat lunch somewhere with us."

"Are you sure? Because I can go home and cook something for me, no need to worry about me."

"We are not worried, we are being selfish, because we love your company and want to spend more time with you." Castle said with his best puppy eyes.

"Okay then, let's eat somewhere. Choose somewhere so we can meet, I will go home, reply a few e-mails that I should have replied in the morning and we will meet there."

"Great! Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know, you can choose."

"Maybe we could go at Carmine's, it' a great Italian restaurant, I went with Alexis a few months ago. You are going to love it! Isn't she, Alexis?"

"Yes, Carmine's is great. The food is amazing!"

"Well, you sold the product. Let's go to that one. Maybe we could meet there at 12:30?" I said.

"Perfect! Come Kate, I will open the door for you." Castle said taking my hand.

"Bye Alexis, see you in a few." I said taking my hand off Castle's hand, going to Alexis and kissing her cheek.

"Goodbye Kate, see you really soon!" She said with a smile.

"Now you can take my hands." I said coming by Castle's side and putting my hands inside his.

"Good because I like your hands on mine."

"I like my hands on yours too." I said smiling shyly at him.

"Come here." He said pushing me for the hall, putting his hands around me and kissing me. "I like the way your lips feel against mine." He whispered in my ear.

"I _think_ the feeling is mutual, but I need to kiss you again just to be sure." I said looking into his eyes.

"Really?" He asked with a serious face.

"Really." I answered with a serious face too.

"Well then, let's help you decide." He said and started kissing me again.

"I think I decided." I said taking my lips of his. "I like the way your lips fee against mine too."

"Good, that is good. Because you are going to feel it again." He said kissing me. "And again." Another kiss. "And again."

"Well Richard, I am glad. But know I got go if I want to get at the restaurant in time and let's not start something we can't finish, don't you think?"

"Yeah, you are right. Go home, do want you have to do, at meet us there."

"Okay, see you there." I said kissing him goodbye.

When I got home, I replied all the e-mails that needed reply; after everything from work that needed my attention was complete, was already near the time to leave home if I wanted to get there in time. I changed my clothes the faster that I could and soon I was out of the door to meet the Castles again. Who would have thought that we would became some kind of close friends and most important who would have thought that someday in my life I would date Richard Castle; nobody could have thought about it, I am sure.

When I got at the restaurant, Castle and Alexis was already there.

"Hey guys, sorry that I am late. I had more things to do that I thought. But I am here now, let's enjoy it!"

If somebody looked from the outside would think that we were a perfect family, because at that moment I felt like we were. I realized that since my mother's death I was missing the feel of having a family. My father got married again, he moved on, created another family for himself and I am not blaming him, at first he tried to make me a participant on his new family but I couldn't, I couldn't just pick up the pieces, put it together and pretend that it was fine. After a few tries, he gave up and I don't blame him. He tried to save me when I didn't want to be saved; I was feeling too sorry for myself, _"the poor rich orphan", _that was what I called me when I was at my highs. I would scream it from the top of my lungs: **_"I AM THE POOR RICH ORPHAN!"_**, but now that I am older I can see that I was just trying to get attention; I was screaming for the death and wishing the life. If just someone had said to be: "Kate my darling, you have to choose between life or death, and you are too young to be this dead." But nobody said it, some people helped me self-destruct myself and others tried to save me, but like I said, at that moment I didn't want to be saved. And when somebody saved me, it was too late. I forgot how to alive; I just knew how to be dead inside.

With Peter I never felt like I had a family, it always appeared that I was doing a performance for someone, that everybody was judging me, waiting for me to slip so they could laugh. So, the feeling of belonging to a family that the Castles made me feel; felt was amazing, maybe it would help me pick up the pieces that still were spread all around and really fix myself.

In a determined moment of our lunch, Castle inclined towards my ear, to tease me about something or say something funny, I don't know, because when he inclined I looked at the person entering the restaurant and I froze, right there, seeing Castle very intimate with me, was Margaret, Margaret's husband and Donna.

The two adults looked at me like they saw a ghost; Donna looked at me, smiled and came running to me and screaming:

"Kateeeee, I am missed you." I got up, walked towards Donna picked her up hugging her.

"Well baby girl, I missed you too. How are you?"

"Good, why we never see you anymore?"

"I broke up with Uncle Peter, we are not together anymore."

"Broke up? Like stopped being his fiancé? You are not going to be his wife anymore?"

"No, I am not. Nobody told you?"

"No. You just stopped appearing on the parties, I thought you were very busy with work like you always were." She said with her eyes starting to get wet.

"Well, that too."

"Katherine, how good to see you." Margaret said with an ironic voice.

"Good to see you too. How are you?"

"I was better before I see you. Donna, come here." She said taking Donna of my arms. "I see that you wasted no time in moving on. And look with who you are, the one and only Richard Castle; isn't he the one who broke you engagement? Oh better, the one you promised to Peter you weren't dating. You looked very intimate when I saw you two."

"Margaret, Castle didn't break anything; Peter was the one who got too jealous and started to doubt me in everything. But it's old news, let's not make a scene."

"Oh Katherine, you always thought you were the best woman in the world, always looking down on us. Peter wasn't enough for you? Wasn't rich enough? Wasn't handsome enough?"

"Margaret, let's just move on. I am sure Peter moved on, I moved on." I said with my court voice to make sure she understood that I was playing with her. "And you princess, I am going to miss you. If you need anything or want to see me, ask Aunt Sarah to give me a call, she has my number and we can go shopping, okay?" I said kissing her cheek.

"Okay Kate. Do you promise that if I ask Aunt Sarah, we can go out?"

"I promise. I have to go, bye."

"Bye." She said and I walked back to the table. When I sat I took a sip of my drink and cleared my throat trying to find the words on my mind.

"Who was that?" Castle asked with his voice almost a whisper like he was afraid to ask.

"Margaret, she is my ex-sister-in-law."

"Okay, probably she wasn't happy to see you with somebody else."

"No, she wasn't. But, don't worry. Margaret never is happy." I said smiling at him. "Let's enjoy our lunch."

"Let's enjoy it." He said giving me a peck on my lips.

"Ewww Dad, Kate. I am sixteen but I don't want to see you guys making out."

"Oh Alexis, I don't think you know the concept of making out." I said laughing.

"And she won't know until she is forty years old!"

"Kate, I know what is making out, it was a hyperbole. My father is a writer, I learned my way with the words." She said laughing.

"Oh god, you too will be my death." I said squeezing their hands and feeling, happy.

* * *

_"And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'if this isn't nice, I don't know what is'." _Kurt Vonnegut

* * *

I hope you guys liked the chapter, I am sorry but this fic isn't going to be really cheesy because I am not a romantic person, but I will do my best to have cute parts.

**_Please, if you have time leave a review._**


	23. The two girls

**Alexis Castle (ACPOV)**

I walked into the living room to find my dad watching one of those TV shows about ghosts; he was very engaged to the show, as like ghosts were really true.

"Dad" He didn't even look to me. "Dad." I tried again trying to gain his attention. "DAD!"

"AH! Oh god Alexis, you scared me!" He said putting his hand on his chest and taking a deep breath.

"Well, that was the third time I called you and you didn't answer it."

"Sorry, this show is just awesome! They found a haunted house here in New York! Apparently several people reported a ghost there and now they are going to find it. How cool is that?" He said with his childish smile.

"Dad, ghosts don't exist, I am sorry to be the one to tell you."

"Tsk, tsk. It's just sad that my favorite daughter has such a small mind." He said with a disappointed looked and smirking.

"Well father, I am so sorry if I am such small minded." I said sitting on the couch next to him.

"I love you anyway." He said kissing me. "What did you call me for?"

"Hum… I need Kate's number." I said a little insecure.

"Kate's number?" Dad said suspicious.

"Exacly."

"And can I ask why?"

"Not really dad, it's like a girl thing." I said looking to my hands.

"Okay then, you can get my cell phone and call her, or take the number and call her from your cell phone. Whatever you want think is best. Are you in trouble or something?"

"I am not; it's just something I wanted to talk with her. Don't worry is nothing serious."

"Okay, you know that if you need anything you can just say, right?" He said looking worried at me.

"Of course dad, like I said: don't worry."

"If you say that I don't need to worry, I won't worry. Let me get back to my show."

"Sure, thanks dad."

"No need to thank me, I did nothing." He said and turning his attention back to the TV.

I picked my father's cell phone and got Kate's number. I went to my bedroom and sat there looking at the number and thinking if I should call her. I was being stupid, I got my dad super worried just because I wanted to ask Kate about boys and maybe if she had time, go shopping with her to find a cute dress so I could go to the party I had at the end of week.

I tried to think what could go wrong if I called her. Nothing came up on my mind, she was always apparently genuine nice with me, or maybe it was some kind of lawyer power she had that made her be always nice, but she didn't appear to be the kind of person who would be nice with you if she didn't really like you. Or maybe she was being nice to me because she wanted to date my dad. Quickly I dismissed the last idea, she wouldn't need me to make dad date her, and he was already in love with her before she even met me.

I stopped trying to convince me that Kate didn't like me, because I knew she liked and I started working on winning my shyness so I could call her. After fifteen minutes debating with myself if I should or not call, I pressed the call option on the cell phone and put on my ear. Part of me didn't want her to pick up, and the other part wished she would just pick up so my misery would end. If you asked what feeling was stronger I couldn't tell you.

"Hello, Katherine Beckett speaking." She said with a very serious tone.

"Hey Kate, It's me Alexis. Are you too busy?" I said worried that she was in the middle of something.

"Not for you." When she said that, I exhaled loudly and relaxed. She really liked me. "How are you?"

"I am great Kate, thank you. And how are you?"

"I am fine. Something happened? Not that I don't like talking to you, but it's unusual for you to call me."

"Nothing happened, I wanted to invite you to go shopping with me for a party I have on Friday. I would like your opinion; my style is too different from grandma."

"Of course Alexis, when do you want to go? Today is already a little too late to go out. Let me look in my schedule. I think this week is a little bit slower than usually is."

"Okay." With that I heard she talking to someone in the background, probably some kind of assistant.

"Hello Alexis, are you still there?"

"Yes, I am still here."

"Well, this week is slower. Why don't you choose a day so I can pick you up at school?"

"Great! Is Wednesday good?"

"It's good. Do you already have some idea of what you want or what stores you want to go?"

"I have some ideas but I would love if you could show one of your favorites." I said already getting excited with the idea of going out with her.

"Sure, I would love to. On week day I use a town car, I hope you don't mind. When you classes finish?

"I don't mind and at 3pm, I can text you the address of my school."

"Great, I will wait for you text and when the school finishes I will probably be already waiting you outside."

"Okay, thank you so much for accepting my invitation."

"I will always accept you invitation Alexis, unless I have something _really, really_ important to do."

"Okay." I almost whispered to the phone, I wasn't used to have someone, unless dad and grandma, caring so much about me. I knew my mother loved me, but I wasn't her first priority and it felt different. I smiled to no one and wished that tomorrow went by fast so I could meet with Kate.

* * *

**Kate Beckett (KBPOV)**

**_On Wednesday _**

To say that when Alexis called I was surprised was a euphemism; I didn't expect us to form a bond so early in our relationship. So, I made sure that I was in time to pick her up.

In the morning before leave home I thought of how should I look for us to go out, I tried to pick up something that wasn't too casual, that I still could use on the office and something that wasn't too formal, since I wanted to Alexis to see me as friend, not a grown-up that was dating her dad, and thinking about it, I wasn't sure if she knew that Castle and I were dating; since I wasn't sure I decided not to touch the subject.

I arrived 10 minutes before 3pm, the town car attracted attention of the few moms that were waiting for their kids. I got worried that maybe Alexis would be embarrassed of it, but I soon discarded the idea, she wasn't that kind of kid.

When the bell ringed and I saw that bunch of kids running out of the door, I thought that finding Alexis would be difficult but soon I saw a red point in the middle of blondes and browns and I was sure that it was Alexis. She kept walking towards me but didn't appear to see me. When she stooped, looked around and found me, she opened the biggest smile. My heart melted a little.

"Hi Alexis, how are you?"

"Hi Kate, thank you again for coming to pick me up." She said giving me a big hug.

"No need to thank." I said squeezing her in my arms back.

The afternoon was gone by quickly, Alexis was nice and I loved being in her company. After two hours looking we found the perfect dress, and I gave her a shoe to go with it, I knew that Castle had enough money to give her a dress and shoes but I wanted to give her something nice, when she chose the shoe and I said that I was going to give it to her, she got a little bit emotional, and I felt sorry for her. She probably didn't have someone to do those little things with her; when I was her age I had my mother who was amazing, we would go out every week even if just to go to the cinema, so we could spend time just the two of us.

After we finished shopping, I decided to take her out to dinner, just the two of us. I chose a nice Chinese restaurant that I loved and hoped she would to. After a thirty minutes making small talk, she appeared to get anxious and got me worried.

"What is it Alexis?"

"What is what?"

"You were fine until a few minutes ago when you started getting anxious, do you have to go? I said something you didn't like?"

"No, nothing like that. It's just that I… hum… I have a question for you and I am not sure if we are close enough for me to ask it." She said taking a sip of her coke.

"Well, why don't you ask it and I will decide if I can or can't answer."

"Sounds good. Hum… I think I have a crush on a guy from my school, and I was thinking, if you could, I don't know, give me like tips to make him notice me or something like that."

"Well, I will do my best but when I was a teenager I didn't really act on my crushes, I was too shy. But let's see… do you talk to him?"

"Sometimes, we are in the same biology class."

"A lot of years ago, when I asked my mother the same question she said that the important thing is to open a line of conversation. Talk to him, and show him that he can always talk to you. If you talk to him, you will know if you really like him, if you have the same interests or something like that. And after that, I don't know, things will work out alone."

"Thanks." She said smiling relieved that I answered her question.

"I know I am not very good at this, I can't remember the last time I got a crush on someone and acted on it. I didn't date a lot before Peter, but in college was always the thing were a guy was attracted to me, I was attracted to him and we decide to date until we wanted to date someone else, so I am not the best person to give you advice but I hoped I helped you."

"You did help. Thank you."

After that we fall in an easy small talk, after we ate, I paid and got her home.

"Thank you again Kate to going out with me."

"Hey Alexis, I loved it. We should do it always."

"I would like that." She said smiling shyly.

"Well, I would like that too. Call me if you need, and next week I call you so we can schedule something."

"Okay. Bye." She said hugging me, I hugged her back and watched her enter the building.

I came back to the car and said to the driver.

"To my house please."

"Of course." The driver answered without taking his eyes of the traffic.

I closed my eyes and let the jazz that was playing in the car fill my head.

* * *

Hi, thank you for reading it. See you on Saturday.

**_Please, review it if you can :)_**


	24. The kid talk

**Katherine Beckett (KBPOV)**

I haven't seen Castle all week since our lunch on Saturday when Margaret surprised me with her lovely presence; the last contact I had with him was after I left Alexis in her house and Castle called me asking what she wanted to ask since she said was a secret and he was worried; I didn't really know how to answer the question, if Alexis didn't tell him so probably she didn't want him to know that she had a crush on a boy from school, if it was me I wouldn't want my father to know so I just told him that was a about her menstruation. I am going to give you a tip, usually when you say the word menstruation for a guy he usually drops whatever the subject he was trying to bring up or the problem he was trying to create.

By Saturday night I was extremely tired, after a slow Wednesday suddenly I started getting busy and had a lot of stuff to do on Thursday, Friday and I had to work all Saturday too. I got a new divorce, very messy where the husband and the wife had cheated on each other, so I couldn't use cheating as an argument to win the case and the wife, who was my client, wanted a lot of stuff that I wasn't sure I could get to her. In their case, I thanked God that they didn't have child, when there is a kid on the middle of the fight is always worst, sometimes they try to use the kid to get everything from the other, it usually made me sick.

When I got home Saturday, I checked my fridge and didn't find nothing to eat or nothing that I could use to cook something fast, after searching all around my kitchen I came to the conclusion that I needed to go to the supermarket because the thing was serious, but that night I didn't have the strength to go.

I decided that the best thing I could do was take a bath and after that I would decide what to order, maybe Chinese or maybe pizza since I could eat it in the morning. After a long bath and many minutes thinking what I should order I decided to go for the pizza; when I picked up the phone somebody knocked on my door, not sure who was knocking on my door at 9 pm at night I asked who was before opening:

"Who is there?"

"Kate, it's me." Said the voice behind my door.

"Castle?" I said opening the lock.

"Yeah, it's me." He said giving me a big smile when he opened it.

"Hey, I missed you." I said giving him a big hug and noticing how taller he was than me, my frame fitting perfectly his chest and my head resting on his shoulders.

"I missed you too." He whispered into my hair and kissed it.

"How have you been?" I asked taking my head of his shoulders and kissing him on his lips.

"I have been good, and what about you?" He asked back and kissed me again.

"Good, but after Wednesday I got a new case, pretty thought. Really messy, but probably will bring me a lot of money, they are both loaded."

"So is it a good thing and a bad thing?" Castle asked.

"Yes. A good thing because I am going to make _a lot _of money with their divorce but a bad thing is that I am going to really earn the money since it's a difficult divorce, too much money involved, the two spouses are cheaters which always makes things harder and the wife, who is my client, isn't really being realistic with the amount of money she wants from her husband. Anyway, let's not talk about work, this case is what I have been eating, drinking for the last three days. Why don't you come inside? As much as I love to kiss you here, my neighbors probably don't want to watch us making out here in the hall." I said taking his hand, bringing him inside and locking the door again.

"Okay, let's not talk about work anymore, I came here because we haven't seen each other yet and I haven't thanked you for going out with Alexis. Yesterday she went to the party, she was very excited about her new clothes, and she even said that you brought her a new pair of high heels." He said sitting on my couch.

"Yes, I bought indeed. She is becoming a woman and we all need pretty shoes." I said sitting by his side on the couch.

"Well, thank you. You didn't need to do it, but I appreciate that you did, she arrived home very happy. It's good to see her happy."

"I am sure it is." I said putting my feet on his lap and lying down to rest my head at the end of the couch.

"Do you want kids?"

"To tell you the truth Castle, I don't want a kid. Not that if I get pregnant while I was on a serious relationship I would abort it since I wouldn't be the only player on the game but I am not sure that I will _try _to get pregnant, if happens, it happened; I will avoid it with the contraceptive methods and everything. Why do you ask?"

"We were talking about Alexis that is my kid and I thought I should ask because like I said this, us." He said pointing to him and me. "We are not a fling, we are on a serious; and I am not saying that I am going to ask you to marry me anytime soon or anything like that, although I would like to keep that option for our future, and the kids' talk it's important since you don't have a child, and you don't want one but I already have one and… I don't know, things could get complicated and people could get hurt."

"So the bottom line is that you don't want any more kids or want it? I am confused."

"I don't want more kids, not that if you got pregnant I would let you raise it alone or something like that, I would be happy to have another one but like you said, I am not going to try to have another child, if happens, it happened." He said taking my foot and rubbing it.

"Good that we are on the same page." I said closing my eyes.

"Yes, very good indeed."

We stayed in silence for a few minutes when we heard my stomach grumble remembering me that the last thing I ate was lunch almost 8 hours before.

"Well, somebody is hungry." Castle said laughing at the sound of my stomach.

"I was going to order pizza but your visit interrupted me. Do you want pizza?"

"Yes please."

"Okay, I am going to get the phone so I can order. What pizza do you want?"

"Anything, I am not picky."

"Okay then, don't complain later when you don't like the flavor that I picked out."

"I won't complain. I promise."

"Good, I don't like my man complaining." I said kissing him.

"Your man?"

"We just had the kid talk, if you are not my man I am not sure what you are then."

"You are right, I am your man."

"I am usually right, not that I like to brag or anything."

"Between the two of us I don't know who has the biggest ego."

"I am sure it's you Castle."

Later, after we ate Castle was getting ready to leave but I wasn't ready to let him leave.

"Hey Castle, don't leave. Spend the night here."

"Spend the night?"

"Yeah, you know. I miss you and next week I will be really busy and we won't have time to see each other, so sleep here. Can Alexis be alone for the night?"

"Yeah, she can. Are you sure do you want me to spend the night?"

"Castle, I am too tired to give you some action so don't get ideas but I want to feel you next to me."

"Okay then, I will stay."

"Now, that it is settled. Let's sleep, before I pass out."

Castle got only on his boxers and I took off my robe staying only on my PJs and although we both wanted to do more than just sleep, we were too tired for anything so the minute ours heads touched the pillow, we fell asleep. Sometime between the night and the mourning we found each other in my size king bed. That was one of the rare nights that I had a peaceful sleep without my pills.

* * *

I hope you guys liked, see you next week.

**_If you have time, please review._**


	25. Waking up

**Richard Castle (RCPOV)**

Waking up by Kate's side had been a dream of mine for a long time and finally it happened. I always wanted to see how she looked asleep, when her face wasn't haunted by her past and by her present, how she looked when the weight of the world wasn't on her shoulders. All my thoughts towards it and all the pictures that I painted on my mind couldn't be as beautiful as the reality was.

I woke before her, something which I thought that probably wouldn't happen many times; her bedroom was very dark and the sun light couldn't enter it, so I couldn't see her face very well, but it didn't matter, just the act of waking up by her side was enough for me at the time. And, although I couldn't see very well, it was better than what I pictured. I have never seen her so relaxed and probably, she would lose that relaxed face the moment she woke up and all the things that haunt her would be back on her mind.

The feeling of waking up by her side helped me be sure of my feelings; I was indeed in love with Katherine Beckett. One of the reasons I wasn't really sure of spending the night was the confirmation that would came in the morning, I didn't think I was ready to really know what I felt. Every little thing that I did with her, every word, every kiss, and every action was a confirmation of something that I didn't want to see, I was in love with Katherine Beckett.

If I stopped to think about it, if I was smart enough I would have run a long time ago, being in love with Kate was something that would hurt, a lot. For starters, I knew her but I really didn't know her. She was a closed person, and although I was sure she was trying to open up to me, I wasn't sure if she could go through it. Another thing that I would make me run but I chose to ignore was that she spent 5 years in a relationship with someone that in the end she didn't love, but Peter had loved her, I was sure. I didn't want to be another Peter in her life, where she would say "I love you", she would pretend that she loved me, she would even marry me but at the end of the day she didn't really loved.

But instead of running, there was I, sleeping by her side on my boxers, looking at her perfect face. Trying not to wake her up, I got up of the bed and opened a little bit the curtain, just enough that I could see her perfectly. Walking slowly towards the bed again, making sure that she was still asleep I climbed the bed again.

She stirred a little on her sleep, and I hold my breathed worried that she woke up, but after a deep breath, she went back to her peaceful sleep. I checked the clock, 7am, her biologic clock would wake her up soon, and I had just a few minutes to enjoy seeing her without the walls she built when she was awake.

When she stirred, the blanket moved a little bit, showing now her back since she was sleeping with her back to the ceiling. Her PJs showed some of the words which she had engraved on her shoulders, when I realized that some of them were showing I again held my breath, moving closer I started examining it. Kate probably forgot that her PJs showed her scars because I didn't think she would just leave them there, showing for anybody that wanted to take a look.

The word near the neck read _sorry_, and appeared to be healed for a long time. The writer in me came out and a thousand of question started popping on my mind but the question that was screaming on my brain was: sorry about what? She told me that she did a lot of bad stuff and everything but in any moment she said she hurt somebody. Why would she be sorry? My mind went to the darkest places where you usually forget exist on your mind, and for a moment I felt that my creativity was a curse, with her I could imagine so many things that it could mean, and I knew that would be a long time before I could ask Kate what it meant, to who it was made for and _why_ she was sorry.

The next word was _law _right below the word sorry, that one I could imagine something obviously, she made the day she graduated. Or maybe law saved her? Or maybe she chose law over someone? Or maybe… Oh God, my mind could go on and on and on and on…

I decided to just read the words that I could see without trying to find a meaning, a reason and a date.

The other word on her left shoulder was _love_, before my mind went crazy, trying to come up with the story of the word I moved for the next one right below it: _liar, _oh God, that one made my mind have a field day, I had to squeeze my hands together so I wouldn't touch it; I didn't know why but seeing it, made me want to pass my fingers through it, feel the contact between my skin and her skin.

Although I found it interesting, every time I read one of the words my heart would break in million of pieces, and I would ask myself again and again: how could someone so beautiful be so broken? She probably was so hurt, so alone to do it, or maybe she was just too high to feel anything. Like I said before, I knew her, but I didn't _really _know her.

When I stopped seeing the words as a story to be written, and saw then as what they were: deep cuts made by someone in themselves, I couldn't bring myself to… I didn't know what to feel. I spent so many nights thinking about it, I spent so many times seeing again and again the scene on the hospital and… seeing so many words, I lost mine.

Lost on my thoughts, looking at some fixed point on the wall in front of me, I didn't see Kate waking up:

"Hi, good morning Castle." She said making me come back from my thoughts.

"Hi beautiful." I said kissing her. "I think I love you." I said without thinking, we both stared each other trying to wrap our minds around what I just had confessed.

* * *

Sorry for the short chapter, but this week I have a lot of stuff going on.

Please, **_review if you can_** and I see you on Saturday :)


	26. Which land do you want to live in?

**Katherine Beckett (KBPOV)**

"Wait, what? I didn't hear it right." I said looking at Castle and taking deep breathes trying not to freak out, much. I just woke up and Castle was already saying those things.

"I-I said that I think I love you, but I said it wrong, I am sure that I love you." Castle said looking at me.

"Are you sure, sure? Or are you _almost _sure?" I said trying to get up of the bed still drunk from my sleep.

"Hey, come here, don't run." Castle said grabbing my waist and pushing me gently towards the bed again. "I am sure Kate, please don't run."

"Oh God Castle, it's too early for you to start saying these things. It's early in the morning; it's early in the relationship." I said passing my hands through my face trying to really wake up and make sense of everything that was happening.

"I know, I was going to wait longer to tell you but you were sleeping so beautiful, so peaceful and I was thinking of how much I love you and then you woke up and I said it." He said looking almost embarrassed.

"Okay, just give me a few minutes so I can make sense of everything." I said getting up of the bed and walking towards the bathroom.

I passed through my closet and took a robe to cover myself, suddenly feeling nude. I entered the bathroom and sat on the toilet, resting my head on the cold tile behind me and closing my eyes. WHAT THE FUCK HAD HAPPENED? I didn't know, I knew that at some point he would say it, I was getting ready for the moment, but to say the truth I didn't know it would be so fast like that.

Should I say it back? I wasn't sure, I knew that I was learning to love him and maybe soon I would love him, _really _love him, like I should have loved Peter. So, what should I say now? "Hey Castle, I am going to love you soon, can you wait?" or "Hey Castle, I processed what you said and I love you too, or almost love you too" or maybe I should say "Castle, I heard what you said and I think that if you give me more time I will love you too.". I didn't know what to do; I liked to think that I lived by the saying that _honest it's the best policy. _But, I am not stupid, either is Castle and neither is you. We all know that I haven't lived by that policy for a long time, maybe I didn't even know what honest meant anymore.

I heard Castle moving around the kitchen, probably making coffee or something like that, and I tried to be less selfish and think if I was going through that dilemma, imagine what he was going through! I stood up and washed my face, and looked at myself on the mirror, I almost asked: "Magic mirror, on the wall, who is the coldest one of all?" Because inside I knew what I was: cold. And I have been for a long time, and I believed for a few seconds everyday that maybe Castle would be the one to set things right, bring me back to land of the living, since a long time ago when I had the same choice to make, the land of the living or the land of the dead, I chose the land of the dead.

After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I tied the robe once again; making sure it was closed and walked towards the kitchen.

Castle was lost in his thoughts looking with way too much attention at one of my mugs, and didn't realize that I entered the kitchen.

"Hey Castle." I said trying to use a smooth voice since I didn't want to scare him.

"He-hey Kate, are you alright?" He said with a concerned voice and face.

"Yes, I am alright." I said giving him a small smile. "I thought about what you said and… I thought about lying to you, but I don't want to waste another five years of my life and I also don't want you to waste your time in a relationship that was based on lies."

"Okay…" He said not knowing what I meant.

"So… I can't say it back to you; I can't say that I love you." I said and watched his face change for a sad frown. "But, I am not saying that I won't love you. I think that I am almost loving you, I am getting there you know…" I said giving him a sad smile. "I am a cold person, I am not going to lie or pretend it isn't truth, I am a cold person and you don't need to say otherwise. I am not saying that to you to get your pity, or to… I don't know, any other reason you can think about it. I am just stating the facts. But I am tired of being cold, a long time ago I had to make a choice, between death and life and we both know what I chose… and I don't know, maybe it's time for me to change my choice, because I can still change it, I didn't die yet. So, here I am, changing my mind about the choice I made almost twenty years ago and I am humbling asking you to wait for me, to help me in this path. Please Castle; help me choose the world of the living." I finished looking at him and giving a small smile, afraid of what he was going to say back.

"Are you sure that you want to change your mind? Are you really sure that you don't want to life in the world of the dead?"

"Yes Castle, I am sure."

"Kate, I need you to be really sure, because like I said early, I love you; and I don't want to sound… foolish saying that I love you like I never loved any of the woman before you and I can't lie, I had a lot of woman before you. But I promise you that I never loved any of them the same way that I love you now so, if you say that you want to change, you want me to wait for you, you want me to help you, I will. I will be by your side all the way, I will hold you when you start crying for things that you should have cried a long time ago, I will talk to you and hold your hands to stop you from cutting yourself, I will help you make emends with your dad, if you want of course. I will be there, but please don't lie to me if that is not what you want, because I will invest myself, and Alexis will invest herself, and my mother will probably invest a little of herself, we will all become your family, so please, don't make me a fool. I am not Peter, I don't want you to be something that you are not, I love you the way you are, and if you think you can stop putting so many walls around your heart and let people in, I will be there." He said with tears in his eyes, I have never realized how much Castle was involved in this relationship, he really was into it, and he really loved me. "So, I will ask you the last time, are you sure that you want to come back to the living world?"

"Yes Castle, I am sure. I am really, really, really sure." I said feeling something strange on throat, like I wanted to… cry.

"I am glad; I can't wait to have you here with me, with Alexis." He said putting his hands at each of my cheek and kissing my lips. "I can't wait to hear you say it back to me, but just say it when you really mean it, I beg you."

"I promise that will just say when I meant it, I promise you." I said kissing him back and putting my arms around his neck. "_Honest policy." _I whispered into his lips.

"I liked it, _honest policy."_ He said smiling and kissing me back.

Ours kisses started getting more heated, Castle put me at the stool that I had in the kitchen and stood between my legs; he opened my robe, taking it off me and left just sitting on the pool of silky that it made, I passed my fingers through his chest that was nude since he slept on his boxers and didn't put any shirt on when he woke up; he took off the blouse of my pajamas and threw it somewhere in my kitchen.

"Castle, maybe we just move things for my bedroom." I said breathless between kisses.

"I couldn't agree with you more." He answered, I put my legs and arms around him and he put his arms around me and carried me towards the bedroom. We all know what happened for the rest of the day.

* * *

Hey guys, sorry that I couldn't post on Saturday, busy weekend! Anyway, I based a lot of the stuff of this chapter on the season 4 of Downton Abbey, if you watch it probably you will recognize some the expressions that I used. I hope you enjoy the chapter, and see you soon!

**_If you can, please review!_**


	27. Bye-bye old friend

**Katherine Beckett (KBPOV)**

This time I woke up before Richard, the room was very dark but it always was, I got up slowly trying not to wake him up since he was probably tired, we had a lot of sexual tension to make up for and I wasn't really sure that we could ever make up for it.

When I got to the curtain I pushed it for the side to take a lot outside, it was indeed dark, but I had no idea how late it was. Walking to my bed I took a look at my cell phone, 11pm, Castle should go home, maybe Alexis would get worried since I didn't hear he talking to her, letting her know that he was going to spend another night with me, and I didn't want for her to spend another night alone.

As gentle as I could be, I started trying to shake him up a bit to see if he would wake up and whispering his name, the worst thing is to wake up scared.

"Hey Castle, it's late you have to go home." I said whispering in his ear. "Baby, please wake up" He started moving and I thought that I had accomplished my objective, but he just moved a little bit, trying to get more comfortable, took a deep breath and went back to sleep peacefully. "Richard Castle, wake up… Wake up please I am worried about Alexis, she doesn't know you are still here." I said trying to shake him a little stronger; I was getting tired of trying to be gentle. "Castle, wake up please. Did I make you this tired?" I said with a grumpy voice.

"Hum? Did something happen?" He said sleepy, but at least finally talking to me.

"No Caste, nothing happened, but is 11pm you have to go back to your house. Tomorrow Alexis has school and I have to go to the office early."

"But I want to stay here!" He said grabbing me and putting me on top of him.

"Castle, I hope you are not trying anything funny! Come on, wake up." I said getting out of the bed.

"Kate, please come back to bed. Alexis will be fine." He said grumpy.

"I don't want her to think that I stole you from her, you are going back to your home, now. Come on wake up!" I said taking his hand and trying to sit him on the bed.

"Okay, okay. No need to be mean to me. It is not my fault that you got me really tired!" He said getting up.

"Don't even think of putting the blame on me, I wasn't having an orgasms alone! You were a willing participant mister Castle."

"No need to get mad Kate, I was kidding. I am going already, let me just put some clothes and I will be out of your way." He said sounding a little hurt that I was kicking him out of my bed.

"Hey, I am not kicking you out. I am worried about Alexis; I don't want you to spend two nights away from home without talking before with Alexis. It was just the two of you for a long time; I don't want her thinking that now she was put aside." I said hugging him from behind and resting my head on his back.

"I got it, you are right." He said turning and giving me a kiss. "I will go home, please call me tomorrow."

"I will, do you want to take my car? This hour I don't think it's good for you to take a cab." I said hugging him tightly.

"No need to, but if I accepted how would you go to work tomorrow?"

" Well..I would take my motorcycle."

"You have a motorcycle?" He said excited.

"Yes, I have one. I love riding motorcycle. It was part of my crazy days but I liked it so much to sell later; I ride it occasionally."

"Wow Kate, every day a new layer of you. I love that about you, no better, I love you." He said looking at me.

"I will say that I love you soon, okay? I am working on it." I said suddenly shy.

"Hey, don't worry. I know I just wanted to say so you can always remember; I will wait like we talked early, please don't worry or try to rush yourself. When you think it's time, it's time."

"Okay, thank you." I said hugging him tightly again.

"Why are you thanking me?"

"Thank you for loving me." I said kissing him. We kissed for a few minutes until he broke it off. "Now, do you want the car?"

"We have to stop this if you really want me to go home and no thank you, I will be fine."

"I don't really want you to go, but it's the right thing to do. And, I am trying to do always the right thing in our relationship. Are you sure you want to take the cab? I don't mind if you take my car."

"It's okay; I don't mind taking the cab. Bye. Please, call me tomorrow; I will be waiting!" He said when we both walked towards the door.

"No need to worry, I will call you."

"I will wait, don't forget."

"I won't, just go before I stop you!"

"Byeeeee" He said and closed the door behind him.

When Castle left I went back to my room, it was smelling us and not in a weird way, if there wasn't a weird way. I took a glass of wine and went to my balcony. New York never stopped and it was something that I related for a long time, but at that moment, I wished it would stop just for a few hours, so I could catch up with them.

Everything was running, the time, the relationship, life… it never bugged me before, and I used to wish that life would run so I could die soon. Such a tragic soul, don't you think? But at that moment, I was not sure if I wanted to die, ever. How many times had I come to that same balcony and asked for the Gods, if it existed, to give the courage to jump, so all could end. Since I made a lot of money I already had a WILL, half of all my money went to Lanie, the other half for several charities, I was waiting for the death to pick me up anytime and I wanted to make something of my death and I wanted that the half I planned to give to Laney to be a "thank you" note for everything she did for me during my life.

But, after that day I stopped wishing to die, I am sure that somewhere someone in the world was angry that I gave up on the thought. I sincerely never thought that someone would love me as Castle appeared to love; it was such a strange feeling, being loved. Peter never loved me the way Castle did, I couldn't put a finger on the difference, maybe Peter always wanted something else from me, he loved me but wanted other things that he wished I could give him. And Castle knew what I could give him and that was it, it was enough for him.

I liked this new feeling, maybe I should give the death one last taste so I could really make me available for life, yes, I thought about cutting one last time, one last goodbye for a good friend of mine but then, I gave up. I looked around myself, I looked towards New York, the city that never sleeps and thought that, New York never stops for no one, it never waits, it just keeps going, and, if I spent so many years thinking we were the same maybe we should really be the same, I wasn't going to say goodbye for any one; the past was the past, I wasn't going to stop, waste time for something that was past.

"Sorry death, although we have been good friends for so long, it's time for me to move on. I will meet you some day I am sure, but now, I want to really live, won't pretend that I am living anymore_, I will live_. I am really sorry, for a long time I thought we belonged together but… I was wrong, I will see you when my time really comes, I don't want to go before I really have to." I said out loud for no one in particularly, since I was alone. But I promise you that I heard someone saying back to me: _"That's okay Katherine, we will meet when we really have to meet." _

Maybe I was really going crazy; I thought but it was really late to waste time thinking about stuff that I wasn't sure, I finished my glass of wine and went back to bed.

* * *

I hope you guys liked the chapter. See you soon!

**_If you have time, please review!_**


	28. The invitation

**Katherine Beckett (KBPOV)**

_2 weeks later… on Monday afternoon._

I was reading one of the last parts of the document from my last case when I heard my cell phone ringing, for a second I wished it was Lanie, I missed her. We haven't spoken with each other for a long time; I made a mental note to give her a call later that week. Without looking in the screen, I answered.

"Hello. Katherine Beckett speaking."

"Hey Kate, it's me, your ruggedly handsome boyfriend, the one named Castle." Castle said with a laugh in his voice.

"Haha, very funny Castle; like I could deal with more than one boyfriend. How are you?"

"I am good, and you? Did I interrupt something important?"

"I am good too, no you didn't. I am finishing reading something so I can go home."

"Well, I have an invitation for you."

"What kind of invitation?"

"The one that I am not sure if you like… but I will invite you anyway."

"Castle, I probably will like anywhere we go if we are going together." I said impressed at my own sweetest. "Wow that was sweet." I said laughing at myself.

"Yes, it was very sweet indeed, who would have thought? The hard core lawyer Kate Beckett could be so sweet." Castle said laughing too. "Well, back to the invitation… I and my date, whoever it is, are invited to a fundraiser gala on this Thursday."

"You received that invitation so near the event? Weird."

"I received it a month ago, but Paula, my publicist, remembered me of it today and I thought who better to go with me than my girlfriend? So, do you want to go?"

"Of course, but please, who throw parties at Thursdays? People have to work!" I said.

"Rich people don't work." Castle said laughing.

"Castle, rich people usually became rich by working every day of the week and the weekend." I said laughing too. "I will go, I need to run and buy a dress. Is the event black tie?"

"Yes, do you want me to buy one for you?"

"No, the best part of these things is buying the dress, the shoes and everything. Maybe Alexis will want to go with me to buy it?"

"I think she would love to… do you want me to ask her or you will call and ask her yourself?"

"I will call her, no need to worry. Will we go from your apartment?"

"Why don't you get ready here? And bring an overnight bag so you can spend the night too."

"Good idea. Let me clear my schedule on Friday morning so we can party until later, and call Alexis so we can go and try to buy something tomorrow. What time is the fundraiser?"

"It starts on 8pm, but we will leave here at 8 since the apartment it's near the place of the event."

"Okay Castle, see you on Thursday then."

"See you, bye."

After I finished the call, I asked Patricia to change my schedule and free my Friday morning, thank god that I didn't have court or something important; after my schedule was clear, I called Alexis.

"Hi Kate, how are you?" She answered with such a sweet voice.

"I am good and you Alexis?"

"I am great."

"So… you dad just invited me for a fundraiser this Thursday and I was thinking if you wanted to go with me to buy a dress, shoes and maybe jewelry so I thinking of going tomorrow afternoon, we can also buy something for you of course; and after we could eat a nice dinner any place you want. Do you want to go?

"I would love to go with you Kate, thank you so much for inviting me."

"No need to thank me, so you can go tomorrow? But only if you are sure if it isn't going to be in the middle of your school stuff."

"Don't worry Kate, it won't."

"Great then, I pick you up from school like last time?"

"Perfect! Can't wait! See you tomorrow."

"See you!"

After I finished talking with Alexis, I finished the work that I had to finish; and went home. I didn't know why but I was excited for the fundraiser, I had gone in a lot of them in the period I was dating and engaged to Peter, but I felt that this one was different. It would be our debut as a couple for the world to see. And at the same time that I was excited, I was a nervous, since it was our debut as a couple.

When I got home, I poured to myself a glass of wine, ordered Chinese and spent the rest of my night until I went off to sleep watching TV. Before falling asleep I sent Castle a message whishing good night, it was a routine that we had being doing every night since he told me he loved me.

The next day, I woke before my alarm, which confirmed my idea that I was indeed excited for the whole thing. Since I woke up earlier, I used the extra time to do more work before I had to pick up Alexis.

When I went to pick her up, once again the few moms that went to pick up her kids were looking strange at me, and once again I had no idea why they were looking so strange at me.

Soon, I found Alexis by searching for a red head among blondes and browns. When she saw me, she came running and gave me a big hug. It was so nice to see that she indeed liked me.

"Hey sweetie, how are you?" I asked her hugging her back.

"I am good, you?" She said looking up to me and smiling.

"I am great. Are you ready to go shopping?"

"Yes, I am excited. Have you decided what kind of dress you want?"

"No, I haven't. Let's look around and see what we find."

"Sure."

After a two hours of walking around we found the perfect dress, it was red and long, with an amazing cut that made my curves look amazing. Alexis was also excited with the finding, so we went to search for a pair of high hells, soon I found an amazing white louboutin.

When we found everything that we wanted, Alexis found a cute t-shirt and a nice pairs of jeans; we went to a cozy a little restaurant that served sandwiches.

"So Alexis, what about the guy that you asked me last time we when out?"

"Well…. I started a few conversations with him and it was nice. Now, he comes and talks to me, I don't need to start the conversation anymore."

"It's a step on the right direction. Keep me posted about it." I said smiling.

"I will." She said giving me a small smile back.

After we finished dinner, I took Alexis back to her house and said goodbye. When I got home, I was so tired that I didn't have energy to do more than take a quickly shower, brush my teeth, send a goodnight to Castle and just fall into bed.

* * *

I hope you guys liked, it's a little filler so in the next chapter we can go to the fundraiser! Send your ideas of what should happen at it.

**_If you can, please review._**


End file.
